Pastries & Pixels

Ugh

2011-03-21T13:45:00.001-07:00

I woke up yesterday to a cold sore right smack dab in the middle of my bottom lip the size of Fukushima Diichi nuclear reactor #4. I'm that attractive...and deadly.

I've been on vacation for a couple of weeks and tomorrow is my first day back at work and I don't imagine people will be asking me too many questions about my trip. I think it will probably go something like this, "Hey, (oh God, what is that thing on her lip? did she bring half of Savannah back with her?) Umm, I want to hear all about your trip, but I'm really busy right now, gotta go! (yikes, that was 'invasion of the body snatchers' scary)

I'm using all the remedies I can think of right now to lessen the likelihood of a complete and total meltdown....of my face. Hopefully something will work or I'll have to wear a surgical mask to work and pretend the air quality is pitiful and my asthma is acting up. I dunno...the dogs don't seem afraid of me yet so maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. Who am I kidding, this thing should have been included on the last US Census.

I'm too weirded out to write about our fabulous trip. Maybe in a few days if it doesn't engulf my entire face.

Heartbreak

2011-02-18T11:31:00.000-08:00

This is pretty much how I'm feeling these days. Sara has been asking me to update this blog for weeks now because she's sick of looking at my Christmas picture (can't say as I blame her) but I don't have anything witty or even in the least bit silly to write about. I'm looking at this picture now and this is exactly how I feel. Almost six years ago we took a young girl into our home and hearts. At the time we were very conflicted as to whether we were doing the right thing considering it was our youngest son's girlfriend. But, she was so easy to love and needed some stability in her life that it seemed the only thing to do.
Due to an unfortunate decision on her part, they are no longer together. I've thought about this over the years, how would this affect our family dynamics should a breakup occur, and would it be awkward? I guess I always assumed that if they were ever to end their relationship that it would be a mutual decision where they had just grown apart, or if not that, cordial, perhaps bitter and hurtful for a time and then eventually we would still be "family" and I could still buy belly dancing outfits for her, or meet her for lunch with lots of hugs and sincere happiness with just the thought of being with my daughter.
Apparently I'm still naive in my advancing age because as things stand, I can't see it ever happening. Too much has happened, too many twists and turns...and yet I still feel conflicted. If I just shut her out of my life now because of her actions, does that mean all the feelings I've had over the years have been fake? Has calling her my daughter been a lie? My heart is aching for my son right now. The emotional upheaval he is experiencing is ripping me apart. As a mother my first instinct is to comfort and protect him. But what about her? I'm angry, hurt, disappointed and well, disgusted with her right now and I'm finding it so very, very hard to feel my motherly instincts for her....and that makes me sad too.
She's out of our lives by her own choosing...so I guess I'm left to do the only thing I can do under the circumstances which is to take care of my son the best I can and hope that someday the pain of all this lessens and I can let her back into my heart. I just can't do that right now and I feel guilty and then I sway the other way where I think, well, she apologized for what she put us through by text messaging me and honestly was kind of "matter of fact" about the whole thing so it doesn't seem like she needs me, she's getting all her advice and support from her new friends.
I don't know. All I know is I was listening to my iPod at work this morning and a song started up that was "her" and I had to close my office door for a few minutes to compose myself.
It's hard for me to think right now. My thoughts are jumbled in my head and I can't seem to unravel them into coherent sentences. I'm broken.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-18T08:01:00.001-08:00

Oh how I love this time of year! I get to put on my little Santa number, throw on a little lipstick and hit the party scene! I'm tellin' ya, it's exhausting to be me. I swear I get invited to more and more parties every year and everyone and his dog wants to have their picture taken with me. Isn't that sweet? I'm definately the belle of the ball and I'm lovin' it!
Well, I'd post more but it's 8am and I need to start getting ready for the next party that starts at 7 tonight. It takes a lot of effort to look this good you know. Merry Christmas everyone!

Finally, something that works

2010-11-27T23:31:00.000-08:00

This is my new best friend in the whole wide world. I would marry it if I could and living in Las Vegas, it just might be legal.
Anyway, this is the story of our new relationship. Some years ago we got sick of the carpet, sick of the laminate flooring and had the brilliant (read stupid) idea to put ceramic tile throughout the entire downstairs of our house. While tile in and of itself wasn't such a stupid idea, it was the light color we chose that was by far one of the most stupid things we have done in our married lives. Well, moving to Las Vegas wasn't the best idea ever, but that's for another time. We're talking floors tonight.
So, back in the olden days when I had housekeepers from time to timeI always insisted that they not use PineSol on the floor. (It leaves a sticky film on the tile that attracts more dirt.) Not that any of them ever paid any attention to my insistance as my entire house smelled of PineSol everytime I came home. Over the years the guk built up and scrub as I did, the floor just never really looked clean to me and I hated my life.
Scott and I thought this Thanksgiving weekend would be the perfect time to have our floors professionally cleaned. I checked out a few places online and about puked when I saw how much they wanted...over a thousand dollars. Gad zooks! Scott found a guy through a friend at work who said he would clean the floors for about 650.00. Crazy amount, but obviously a lot less than Stanley Steemer. We booked him for this morning at 9 and spent the better part of last night moving all the furniture out of the house. 3 couches, dining table and chairs, chairs, bookshelves, lamps, coffee tables, all that stuff.
By 9:30 this morning when he hadn't shown up, I had Scott call him. He was having "mechanical" problems and said he should be here within the hour. By 11:30 and no word from him, I was angry and ready to tell him to take a hike, if he ever showed up. I looked outside and great...it's starting to cloud up and look like rain...and oh goody, the wind is kicking up. Fabulous. To make this long and boring story a little shorter, I decided that we needed to just rent a machine and do it ourselves. We checked out a couple of places and everything looked pretty bogus and then Scott got the idea to check out Oreck. For less than what we would have paid the guy, who by the way called at 4pm and said he wasn't going to make it today and most likely not tomorrow either, we bought this great cleaner. Scott was skeptical, and I had faith that it would do the trick.
It's fabulous!!! I'm so happy with the results I can barely stand it. (I'm so easy to please)
The only down side to this entire thing is there was a part of me, and I'm just a tad bit ashamed to admit it, that hoped robbers would come over during the night and steal all our furniture so we would have to get all new, pretty stuff. I love to dream.
It's past midnight, gotta get up early to finish up all this cleaning business. Who knew I could get so excited over sparkling clean floors? Pathetic.

fall

2010-11-01T13:55:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago I took my mom on a little road trip to Bishop California. We've gone on our "fall trip" for the past three years and while this wasn't a trip back to New England like we would have liked...it was still pretty and good to escape the heat and stress of everyday life and home.

The aspen tress were beautiful and I everyone and his dog was up there taking pictures. I don't think I have ever seen so many tripods in one place.

I love taking pictures of roads. It reminds me of the Robert Frost poem which is one of my favorites.

today is my day off and unlike the past two Mondays that I had off, today I have kept my promise to myself and stayed in my pj's and worked on editing some of my photos. I could get used to this.

It's 2pm now and I think it's time I got up and actually do a few things around here. Can't be lazy all the time you know. I have something like 20 pumpkins to gather up and put in the garbage. All my kids were home for Halloween and they had friends over to carve pumpkins and pretty much just hang out and enjoy the beautiful autumn day. All I know is this...I had a wonderful weekend and the tired I feel today is a "good" kind.

last time you'll have to read about this

2010-09-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

I'm done. No more doctors. No more trying to get someone to manage my care. This trip to Mayo Clinic was a complete waste of time and money. Not to mention emotionally what it did to me.
I still don't know which vitamins and calcium I'm supposed to take for my liver disease, and SIX, yes SIX doctors have been told about the edema in my legs and yet nothing has been done. I was told by the doctor here that I needed an ultrasound of my legs....they didn't order it.
Anyway, I'm sick of talking about this. I'm sick of everything. Guess they don't want to see or hear from you until I need the transplant.
Oh...and the highlights? Having the doctor give me my MRI results. I wasn't sitting in his office in a comfy chair....I was pulled over on the side of the road on a highway in Phoenix. Classy.

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Mayo I go

2010-09-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

At the suggestion of my ophthalmologist I went online to make an appointment to see some doctors who actually know what they're doing (I hope) in regards to my liver disease. I was quite surprised when the called me back and offered me an appointment like NOW. So, I'm going to drive to Phoenix on Sunday and my appointment is Monday. Don't think you can come to my house now and jack all my stuff because not only will the 3 attack wiener dogs be all over you, but my Chuck Norris "kick your butt" type husband will be there and so will 2 of my kids who who have been kicked out of every school in the county for fighting and are proud card carrying members of the NRA.
I'm lying of course. My husband has never kicked a butt in his entire life, and I made all that up about my kids. The wiener dog stuff was completely true though...oh, and so was the part about all of them being here. I'm going by myself. The appointment came up so quickly that Scott wasn't able to get coverage to take the time off, and since I'm not sure exactly how long I'm going to be there (they said to plan on 5 days) I just thought it would be cheaper and easier if I just drove. Plus, I can take just the snacks "I" like. Roadtrip for Ruth....yes!
As anyone knows who has accidently stumbled upon this blog for the past couple of months, I've been having a fabulous time with the medical community and my liver disease. I've been unsatisfied from the beginning and not happy about having to YouTube or Google my disease to get my information. So...let's hope that these doctors will actually be able to give me the guidance I'm looking for. Let's face it....I know I can't be cured and I don't expect that. What I do expect is a doctor or two who will actually listen and offer up some help/suggestions. Here is a perfect example of what I've been going through for the past few months. In July I told my internist and my gastroentrologist that I had swelling in my legs. Both of them told me to ask the liver specialist in San Francisco about it. (passing the buck 1) Hepatologist in SF paid no attention to me, didn't even look as I was showing him, but simply said, "It's not your liver" (buck passing 2) Swelling gets worse, showed cardiologist, "it's not your heart, you don't have swelling in your hands or feet." (3) Went to the GI for followup, "make an appointment with your internal medicine doctor. She needs to order an ultrasound of your legs." (4) a week later cuz that's the soonest I could get in to see her, she looks as I push my finger into my ankle and it looks like I'm punching down bread dough. "Yeah, that's your liver." "Um, the liver specialist in SF said it wasn't." "It is. It's your cirrhosis." "Um, I didn't think I was in the cirrhosis stage yet." "......." no response, just given a prescription for some Lasix in hopes that I can pee it all away. Me: what about my severe depletion of vitamin D? She writes a script for a ridiculous dose of vitamin D. Me: aren't I supposed to take calcium with that or it's useless? Her: yeah, you can take some. Me: well, there are different kinds of calcium and how much?
Her: any kind is fine, and just take the recommended dose.
that's pretty much when I decided that I'm in the market for a new doctor. I stole a magazine on my way out. And I don't care. And it was one I wanted too. And it was a new issue, not an old one from 1997.

So what else has been happening???? hmm, had a birthday a few days ago. Got beautiful flowers from my daughter (thanks again, Sara) flowers from my husband and other kids, and a nice night with family. I missed Sara though. :(
Scott knows I love hamburgers. He also knows that I'm pretty much wiped out all the time so he thought it would be nice just to have everyone come to our house and grill some burgers instead of going out. He talked to my mom and left money for Kris and Betina to take her to the grocery store for all the fixins'. Everyone was here when we got home and Scott went to work right away making up the burgers. I walked passed him in the kitchen and noticed he didn't have such a happy face. I looked down at what he was doing and the hamburger meat looked funky. And I do mean funky. Red on the outside, brown/gray on the inside. He points to the label on the wrapper that says,"Reduced price for quick sale". Ohh, great. Then I hear my mother tell my vegetarian kid and my vegan kid that she's going to eat a black bean burger with them tonight. Of course you are, you know you bought tainted meat and you don't want to die tonight!!!! Her excuse for buying the ball o' e-coli was this: "You know how the grocery store sales go from Wednesday to Wednesday? Well, today is Wednesday and it was going off being on sale." WTF??????? That made absolutely no sense whatsoever and she just looked at me as if to say, "Go on bitch, say something else, I dare ya, I double dog dare ya." So basically I think I ate meat that had been sitting at Albertson's for a week. Needless to say, I did not enjoy my birthday dinner. P.S., Jeff and I were the only ones who ate the hamburgers...and he doesn't really count cuz that kid eats some pretty disgusting things.

I got my eyeballs fried today...on purpose. Since the stupid eye plugs fell out and I wasn't willing to go through that torture again my doc decided to cauterize my tear ducts. Yes, it's as gross as it sounds. Remember that rhyme from childhood, "Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye"? Yeah, well, she stuck lots of needles in my eyes before taking a branding iron to them. I don't know about you, but I'm all about torture these days. Weirdest damn thing I've ever done, I'll tell you that right now. My eyes feel....well, burned right now. I love how she tells me, "You'll notice little black dots that look like mascara....don't rub them. Then in a few days it will look like white mucousy dots...don't rub them." eewww and gag. So of course I had to run to a mirror right away and check that shit out. She was right. The Lidocaine wore off pretty quickly and I'm driving home on the freeway thinking, "maybe this isn't the smartest thing I've done this week...driving with bar-b-qued eyeballs." It's all good now. Little pain, semi-alot of burning, and wishing I could poke them out with a stick. I was going to say "with a hot poker" but that's already been done today, thank you.

So that's my crazy life right now. there's a piece of grocery store birthday cake in the fridge that's just calling my name so I think I'm going to claim it as my own and call it a night. It wasn't reduced for quick sale so I think I'm pretty safe.

ugh...

2010-09-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

this is not a new self portrait...although I'm feeling about this large, and this attractive. Lots of swelling in my legs and after yet another doctor appointment yesterday which proved that NONE of my doctors are taking this swelling seriously. I don't even want to get into is.
Back to Jabba
I made a peach cobbler the other night and it pretty much looked exactly like JTH. I even said that as I peaked into the oven and saw it oozing out of the baking dish onto the cookie sheet. "Whoa, what the hell? That think looks sorta like JTH." Thank goodness I had the common sense to put it on a cookie sheet or I would be shopping for a new oven right about now. That would have been my excuse to Scott. "Honey, it's totally ruined, we'll just have to get a new one." I wouldn't have wanted to even attempt chiseling that crap off. As it was, I had to soak the whole thing in the sink for hours because the baking dish would not release itself from the cookie sheet. Let that be a lesson to all of you...some recipes are not made to be doubled. I've made this peach cobbler recipe for about 127 years with no problems, and the one stinkin' time I try to double it cuz I have some truly magnificent peaches....this is what I get. I've never quite understood why that happens. Not me screwing things up, pphhtt, I can do that any time of the day or night...no, I mean the doubling of a recipe. I could have made two batches and combined them and they would have had the same amount of ingredients in them...so what's the diff? Must be some sort of magic scientific thing. Yeah, that's probably it.
My ego is bruised,my bakeware will never be the same, and I wasted some incredibly delicious peaches. Life is so unfair sometimes.

vacation time

2010-08-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

this is where we are right now. Mammoth Lakes. I've taken over 200 pictures and got sunburned in the process and I don't even care. It's beautiful up here and I think I would love to bring the rest of our family up here for some serious snowboarding this winter. In fact, Ive already told Scott that I'm coming back in the fall to see some fierce autumn colors. So there.

this time off from work could not have come at a better time for me. Let's just say I'm giving serious thought to quitting. more on that later.

I'm all comfy cozy on this huge bed right now, relaxing and looking out the window of our hotel room at some beautiful blue sky and majestic pine trees. Again I ask, why oh why do we live in the stinkin' desert?

it's almost the "golden hour" for photography so I'm off to see what I may have missed the first time around.

Right Now

2010-07-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

Right now:

it's 107 degrees in my garage

it's almost that hot in my kitchen

i'm making snickerdoodles

my knees really hurt

i have cinnamon and sugar on my neck

my husband is having dinner with his family

i don't think i'm having dinner tonight cuz i'm not hungry

my son is upstairs playing the guitar

one of my dogs just made a huge mess on the floor after getting a drink of water

i'm super sleepy

i'm almost to the next level in "We Rule"

my house smells like Christmas

the wind is blowing (no surprise there)

my contacts are starting to bug me

i think i may have a few snickerdoodles for dinner and call it a night

i can't remember where my card reader is for my digital camera and I reallllly need to empty it

my dogs are begging for cookies

i'll probably give them one

Unplugged and hittin' the wall

2010-07-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

so the "permanent" tear duct plugs fell out in less than 9 days. I have to say, it was a relief to have them outta there. Stupid things made me miserable the entire time they were in. But, I'm not sure if the doctor wants to replace them or what...haven't heard back from her office and it's been 6 days now. Honestly, I'm not sure I want to have them replaced. I'm using eyedrops now and if that's what I have to do all the time, well, it's a whole lot better than having my eyes bug me all the time.
I'm not in a very good place today. Truthfully I haven't been in a very good place since last Wednesday evening. I think that's when I lost the plugs....from crying too much.
I was on the computer and I went to YouTube to see what they had in the way of stuff on PBC. I found a video from one of the doctors in San Francisco and decided to watch it and see if it offered any new little tidbits of information. She had a really nice power point presentation and one of the slides was about all the basic tests that should be done on a patient with PBC to use as a baseline for future tests. I haven't had any of them. As I looked at this guideline I became so angry...so hurt...so lost. How is it possible that I have THREE doctors who are supposed to be taking care of me and not one of them has mentioned this to me? I'm almost 55... I should probably be taking a calcium supplement for osteoporosis anyway. People with PBC have a 440% increase in developing osteoporsis due to this liver disease. I need a bone scan...who will order that for me? I don't metabilize vitamins A D E or K properly. I need to be on those supplements and have a baseline blood test to measure my vitamins A and D. Who is going to order those tests and tell me how much of these vitamins I need to take? I have edema in my legs. Never had it until recently and the liver specialist just said, 'It's not related to your liver." that was it...so who am I supposed to ask about that? ::sigh::
I feel very strongly that patients need to be knowledgable in regards to their medical condition. Having said that, I don't feel that a patient has to Google or YouTube their disease to find out if they're being treated adequately.
Anyway, I had a complete melt down for a little while and cried like it was my job. I'm so angry...I'm so tired...I'm so frustrated. Just order the freakin' tests that need to be ordered!!!
Nevermind the fact the my primary care physician's office called me recently and said I needed to call my GI doctor and ask if I can take "X" instead of "Y" and to let them know. Umm, his office is 3 doors down from yours and in the time it took you to call me, you could have called his office and left that sweet message yourself. I just don't get it.
After the tear duct plugs were shoved into my eyes, I was told to ask the liver specialist about using Restatis. Then I see the ad on tv for Restatis and the information at the bottom of the screen said "not to be used with tear duct plugs" WTF???????
I have an appointment Thursday morning for my contact lens follow-up which should be fun. They're great for close up stuff but the distance is whacked. This is my second pair, wonder if he's going to try for a third or just call it a day and tell me I need to wear glasses. At this point, I don't care. THEN....later in the afternoon I have an appointment for a cardiac stress test. That sounds like more fun than I can even imagine. Maybe the cardiologist will be interested in my swollen legs. Then again, with my track record...maybe not.

How I spent a Tuesday afternoon

2010-07-14T01:49:00.001-07:00

This is not my eye. My eyes are green and my eyebrows are much much lighter. Now that we have that all cleared up let's carry on.

My liver disease has it's little quirks that I'm discovering one at a time. I guess the itching, the nausea and the fatigue just weren't enough. Oh noooooo....we have to throw dry mouth and dry eye in there too. So, last week I saw my wonderful eye doctor who immediately put me on some eye drops and scheduled me for punctal plugs. I giggle for some immature reason when I say that. sheesh.
Anyway, I had them inserted and it was only afterwards that she said, "You're going to be uncomfortable for a few days to a week. DON'T have them removed. Just stick with it and you'll be fine. Really, I know you will have discomfort, but it will go away. Your body will get used to them." (apparently she doesn't know my body very well) Now, I don't know about you but it has been my experience that when a doctor uses the word "discomfort" what they really mean is excruciating or unbearable or out of your mind numbing pain. While is isn't that bad...it is 2am and I'm still awake. My eyes feel very tired, and like there is a crusty eyelash stuck in the corner of my eyes. I feel like I want to take a melon baller and ream out my eye sockets. But...I won't. Mainly because I haven't had a melon baller in something like 15 years. I think my boys used it on a block of cheese once and I never saw it again. Or maybe it was a bar of soap...my memory is a little off due to the "discomfort".
Anyway, I tried to go to sleep, actually fell asleep for a little while but woke up in "discomfort" because I had my hand in between my face and the pillow and was smushing my eye in towards my nose. It was kinda like squeezing the bottom of a tube of toothpaste...pressure building up, bringing Old Faithful to mind. Hmm, wonder if those plugs would shoot out of my eye?
So now I know why she didn't tell me all this before hand. She knows me all too well.
I have an appointment for new contact fitting on Thursday morning. My poor eyes may poke themselves out before this is all over. My last try wearing contacts didn't go so well...let's just hope this guy my Opthalmologist is sending me to is better than the Wal-Mart eye doctor. That was a nightmare as I recall.

I feel as though I have every grain of sand from every beach in the world in my eyes right now. Time to go back to bed and wish for sleep to take me. There has to be a joke in there about Mr. Sandman but for the life of me I can't come up with one. Must be the discomfort thats clouding my thought process. Or the lack of sleep. Or the fact that I realize that I have to get up in less than 5 hours to go to work. Where the hell is that melon baller?

Open letter to my kids

2010-07-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

All of you know my fear/anger at the prospect of getting old. With that said, this is a conversation I had with my mother yesterday.

Me: So, what's goin' on over there today?

Mom: Oh, not too much. Marilyn (name changed to protect dignity) got banned from the
clubhouse and the pool. I can't stand her anyway so that made my day!

Me: (remembering what a "nice" person my mother can be) What could an old lady do to get
banned from a senior citizen apartment complex pool? (did I really want to know?)

Mom: Oh, she's been told about a hundred times to quit plucking her eyebrows and chin
whiskers in the pool, and management finally had enough. I say "Good Riddance".

Me: chin whiskers?

Mom: uh-huh, AND her eyebrows.

Me: chin whiskers?

I think it was about that time that I felt faint and had to end this stimulating conversation. She did however bring it up again in a later conversation, while I was driving no less. Ick.

I do not want to get old...I do not want to live with a bunch of other old people...I do not want to have chin whiskers...I don't want to be around anyone who does...and I never want to say those two words together again....ever.

So this, my lovely children, is to let you know that if I start showing signs of....you know...you can put me on an iceberg and wave 'adios madre'.

peace,
Mom

This Face...these eyes

2010-07-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

Now tell me, could you resist? Could you say "no" to her for any reason? Even if it meant $435?
Daisy is my baby...my first weenie dog. She was acting a little off for the past couple of days and when a dachshund doesn't eat, you KNOW somethings wrong. Yesterday morning she looked pretty sick so I left my credit card for Kris and Betina to take her to the vet while I was at work. Kris called to tell me that she had welts all over her body and that she looked terrible. Off to the vet they went.
He thought she could be having an allergic reaction to a sting or bite of some kind and did some blood work. I would really like to know how a vet can do a bazillion blood tests and get the results back in less than an hour and when I go in for the exact same things, it takes 2-3 days. Very strange....and I have insurance. Maybe from now on I should go to the vet for all my lab work. I'll have to ask about that.
So...darling hubby still doesn't know how much Miss Daisy cost us yesterday and I don't care. I know that's a lot of money, but please, again I ask you to look at that face and you tell me how you could have said, "no". It just wasn't going to happen.
She's doing much better today and I hope my sweet little weenie is wagging her tail and barking like a mad woman when I walk in the door tonight.

warning: doctor vent

2010-06-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

ok, let's preface this with, "I have been married to a doctor for 30 years (in August) so I get how doctor's work." (insert eye roll here) There, now that we have that little disclaimer out of the way I'm going to go off on doctors again. Oh yes, I know I do that quite often, and I'm likely to continue to do so. Well, let me say that I really like my GI doc and my primary care doc, and oh, let's not forget my new cardiologist. So, let's move on to the new guy I saw today. The pulmonologist. Today was a waste of a $30 co-pay and time off work. I pretty much shut down when the guy was listening to my lungs through my polyester blouse. Is it really that difficult to have a patient put on a gown, or hell, even move the clothing enough to get a really good listen? I'm telling him how I cough every time I take the first bite at a meal. "Well, you're just getting over a pretty bad cold so..." "No...it's been happening for over a year now and has gotten worse." No response. Then his phone rings while I'm answering a question for him. He proceeds to answer the phone, cutting me off mid sentence and talks to another physician about a female patient. I'm sitting there becoming more livid by the minute and after discussing this poor woman who has multiple things going on with her at the present time, he finishes his call and doesn't even say, "sorry".
"So...how do my pulmonary function tests look" (took those last Friday) "Did you notice in my medical records that I was just diagnosed with Primary Biliary Cirrhosis?" "Is it true that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a humans?" I didn't get a lot of answers.
I'm supposed to give my meds another 3 weeks and see if they take care of all this coughing/choking and then return to his office. We'll see. Oh....and the other day, I went to the pharmacy to pick up my refills and they wanted to charge me $90 for Advair. This stupid little "puffer" and they want ninety bucks. "We think that's fair." So I asked her how much it would cost without my wonderful insurance and she says, "210" pphhht. Let's just say that little jewel didn't come home with me. And people don't want health care reform???? Look, it's not working the way it is, something has to change. Seriously, 210 for a two-week supply of a puffer. And for those who really can't afford it they can possibly have a serious asthma episode and end up in the ER and we all know how much THAT will cost. :::shaking my head::: I just don't get it.

Changing the subject drastically...did I ever mention that I would have made the worst pioneer ever? It's so true. How hard is it grow radishes for crying out loud? Apparently pretty difficult since I can't seem to do that. I had one lemon on my tree just like last year and tonight when I went out to water my plants,it had jumped ship. My pepper plants still don't have any peppers on them,I had one green bean, my green onions are microscopic, the squash is squashed, the carrots are miniscule, the pumpkins haven't even bloomed yet, the cucumbers are lazy and refuse to grow, and the watermelons are a figment of my imagination. But...I do have tomatoes. Not a lot, and I'm not holding out any hope of them ever reaching maturity, but at least they're still hanging in there. I really suck at gardening. But then, I think we already knew that. That's what grocery stores are for my friend, and that's where I'm off to right now, to buy stuff other people get paid to grow.

it's sunday night

2010-06-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

and I think I just might live. Seriously, I was down for the count for 4 freakin' days with this crap. I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm even feeling remotely like a human being today is because my dear sweet husband made me take some Prednisone. I hate that stuff, but it's doing it's job and I actually got up out of my death bed and made vegetable soup for dinner...AND did a couple of loads of laundry. I know....unbelievable! ahh yes, better living through pharmaceuticals. Yes indeedy. That should be the name of my blog from now on since apparently I am going to be on "a few" now for the rest of my life. Fabulous. That just reminded me that I hadn't taken my nightly dose so be right back. I'm sooo not used to taking this stuff I may have to put an alarm on my iphone so I don't forget. One medication I have to take on an empty stomach and the others are with food so ugh. I hate breakfast. Loathe it in fact. But, it seems I need to make a few other changes in my life now as well. It's all good. One of the meds I take leaves a metalic taste...like I have a mouth full of quarters all the time. Just an FYI....NEVER EVER drink orange juice when your mouth already tastes like the inside of a piggy bank. Just sayin'.

Tomorrow is offically the first day of my vacation. yippy. I get to spend it at the ENT's office for a follow-up on my weird esophagus thang...and then the cardiologist. Now, doesn't that sound like THE best way to start a vacation EVER??? Of course it is. Lord...I'm turning into one of those old people I swore I would never be...the ones who constantly talk about their health problems and their lab results. Ugh. Sorry. This is just all so new to me right now I'm not sure I've really come to grips with the severity of it all. Sometimes in life it's good to have a child-like mind.

Our garage door opener went out on us the other day and we had to shell out a ridiculous amount of money to get it replaced. I hadn't really paid any attention to it until I went out in the garage today to get some stuff out of the fridge. I saw this thing and it's telling me the temperature inside our garage AND the time. Ok. That's really important. Why? Then Scott hands me the remote and it has 3 buttons on it. He looks at me with a look I can only describe as "surrender" and says,
"You just push the *1*." "Ok, what are the other two for?" "Bigger garages than ours." "So why couldn't we just get your basic garage door opener?" well, the conversation kinda went downhill from there. Apparently I hit a nerve. I tend to do that alot, huh?

Oh, and it's 109 in our garage right now.

12 days off....wwwhhhheeeeee!!!

2010-06-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

Our Williams syndrome research clinic is over! It's so much work for me that I'm totally exhausted by the last day. Our grant money is gone..bye bye... and I had to make sure our families were fed and watered so I got to take a day off from work for using my own money which they can't/would never pay me for. THEN, since I worked Saturday and Sunday I got to take 2 comp days. THEN, I have a week of vacation next week. Sounds absolutely wonderful, does it not? Well, I sat next to my boss for 4 days who had bronchitis and guess who got it too? You would be correct if you guessed that it's me. Of course it's me. Sooo...I've wasted two perfectly good days of vacation time being sick. I cough like it's my job, and my asthma medications aren't working. My voice is so deep, I sound like Darth Vader. "Ruth...the asthma is with you." It pretty much sucks. Plus, I haven't had any sleep for 3 nights in a row and I'm a tad bit cranky. Ok, so I'm totally rocking the "don't even look at me" mood. Poor Scott made the huge mistake tonight of saying, "I know how you feel." the words had barely left his mouth when I exploded. I think he's going to sleep upstairs in the guest room tonight. I told him that would be a good idea since I didn't want to keep him awake with my coughing all night. He agreed, but personally....I think he's very, very afraid of me right now. As well he should be.

I came home from work Tuesday afternoon to find that Charlie the wiener dog had channeled his inner cat skills and jumped up on the bar stool and onto the kitchen counter and ate an entire foil wrapped loaf of banana bread, AND, he also ripped apart a brand new bag of dog treats and ate all them too. I seriously doubt that he shared any of this with his brother and sister. I really would like to put a camera up to see when he does this. This isn't the first time either. He did another bag and treats a few weeks ago and a whole loaf of homemade bread. You'd think I never fed him by the way he acts. Makes for some interesting poops in the backyard, I'll tell you. So now I'm trying to train everyone to pull the barstools waaayy far away from the counter so he can't get up there again. Who knew? It was a great day in other areas as well. The garage door decided to stop working, one of the "cells" in our Select Comfort bed decided to blow up. Looks like a huge blister sticking up. I'm just glad it's on Scott's side of the bed. hehe.

I'm going to San Francisco at the end of July to see the liver specialist. My appointment is on a Tuesday and I'm pretty sure I'll need to be there on Saturday before hand just to make sure I know where to find the place. Guess that means I'll be able to run around and take a million photos. Just exactly what the doctor ordered. Well, I haven't even met the guy yet but I'm sure he would if he knew I was going stir crazy here in the stinkin' desert. Speaking of which, summer is offically here with temps in the low 100's. ugh. It's only going to get hotter and I'm going to only venture out into the dizzying heat when I absolutely have to.

Well, I just chugged half a bottle of cough syrup (just kidding) and I'm going to try to go to bed and sleep.

even with not feeling so hot...it's great to know that there's nowhere I need to be besides right here in my own home with my petrified husband and bloated wiener dogs. Life can be good.

and so it goes

2010-05-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

for those of you who see me in real life....yes, I'm glowing. No, I'm not pregnant, and no I haven't been tanning. It's actually a radioactive glow from all the x-rays I've had in the past 2 months. I think it's a sad day when I walk into the radiology office and the front desk girl knows my name before I even sign in. Something just so wrong about that.
So, yes, I'm glowing....and apparently they're 98% sure I have a rare disease called Primary Biliary Cirrhosis. There are two other overlapping diseases it could be but for now they're betting on this on. This is Vegas after all.
Am I freaked out? yes. Am I scared? pretty much. Am I glad it wasn't cancer? well, duh. When all is said and done, I'm ok with it. I mean, what choice do I have? I've certainly had my pity party and now that it's had a chance to sink in, I just shrug my shoulders and say, "oh well. could have been much, much worse."
I'm waiting to hear from the liver specialist in San Francisco and in the meantime I'm just thinkin' about stuff and wanting to travel and take pictures. HA! don't we all.
I started taking the one and only FDA, TSA, BSA, NBA approved drug for it so lets keep our fingers crossed that it works, ok?
I have a huge Williams syndrome research clinic coming up in two days and frankly, I'll be glad when it's all over and done with. They are exhausting to say the least and I just don't really have the energy for it this time around.
BUT....I actually have some time off right afterwards so I plan on taking pictures, baking cookies cakes and pies, and if I'm lucky, not doing much housework or grocery shopping.
So there you have it...my liver and I thank you for all your well wishes.

life imitating art?

2010-05-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

I love movies and books. All kinds. Fiction, non fiction, documentary, drama, action, romance. You get the idea. I’ve even been known to watch really crappy movies more than once if the location/scenery is interesting. Case in point. I don’t think Sleeping With The Enemy was a ‘bad’ movie, I just had a tough time watching it without saying, “Oh sure, anybody can just hand over a wad of cash and rent a house without references or a credit check.” Or, “Yeah, right, she got a job without having to produce a Social Security card.” But, it was the little house that she rented that gets me to watch this movie every time it’s on. I love the house. It reminds me of my grandmother and much simpler times. I bring up the subject of movies and books because today I have an appointment to get the results of my liver biopsy. Don’t you always associate movies, books, and cute little houses with life altering doctor appointments? Sure you do.
When I watch a movie or read a story about someone who was just minding their own business and one day they receive not so good medical news I’m always curious as to how I would take the news. Would I be the Rock of Gibraltar and calmly look at the doctor and say, “Ok…so what do we do now?” or would I immediately start vomiting all over the place taking time out of course to shout, “NO, NO!!!!!”, or would I faint dead away and have to be revived or just sit there frozen…tears streaming down my face? I guess I’ll find out soon enough. We’re 98% sure what it is that I have but it’s the progression of the illness that we’re waiting to find out about. Basically, we have no idea how long I’ve had this. The only thing we know for sure at this point is that 2 doctors have told me they have never seen a patient in their careers with an alkaline phosphatase as high as mine. WOOOHOOO! Now that’s really something to be proud of, don’t you think? Wow, I’ve always wanted to be remembered for something, but having a “career high alk phos” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Go figure.

So….I guess I’ll know by this afternoon what I’m made of. I hope I’m the, “yikes, that frickin’ sucks but what do I need to do next?” type of person. I’m sure there will be tears…I cry at Hallmark commercials. I just hope that I’m able to suck it up and do what needs to be done without drama. I’ll leave you with this…..even if you’re feeling fine….go to the doctor for a checkup every year. When I went to the ER in December for chest pain, if they had ordered a simple chemistry panel they would have seen this. But, as it was, they ordered blood cultures that were totally unnecessary in a patient without fever and so there ya go. See, I’m still bitchin’ about the blood cultures. So much for ‘no drama’, huh? Anyway, that’s all I have for now. My next post will be about puppies, rainbows and unicorns...maybe.

what i know...and don't know

2010-04-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

this is a picture of a human liver. I used to have to eat calf liver when I was a kid because I was anemic. I hated it. I used to try and hide it in my mashed potatoes or stash it under my leg while sitting at the table, always aware of my mother's eyes in the back of her head. Sometimes I would even pretend to cough and spit it out into my napkin. Rarely did I get away with any of these acts but I had to try. I mean, c'mon, it's liver for crying out loud. That shit is nasty. But I digress......

If you read my crazy sleeping pill induced ramblings from a few weeks ago, you know that during routine lab work it was discovered that something is wrong with my liver. I don't drink and I've never shot up drugs. Soooo....we're on a journey to find out exactly what my diagnosis is and what can be done. A few things have been ruled out, but it looks like I'm going to have to have a liver biopsy to get to the bottom of this. The few remaining things that it can be are not particularly good, but then again, some of the really, really horrible things have already been taken out of the equation so for that, I am grateful.

I've been poked, proded, x-rayed, CTscanned, ultrasounded, endoscopied,colonoscopied,biopsied and barium swallowed half to death. And then my doctor takes off on a two week vacation. Thanks. So...I won't even see him again until the 12th of May to see where we go next. Personally, I'm thinking about going to the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix....or the University of California at San Francisco for another opinion, even though I don't have a definitive diagnosis yet. It never hurts to go to San Francisco for any reason as far as I'm concerned. My camera is gathering dust and I think it would be good for me to get out and snap some pics.

But the good news is this.....there was a bakery not far from my home and once upon a time I worked there a few days a week with the hope that I would learn some mad decorating skills. That never happened but the other night I was driving past the bakery and noticed a new sign. It was for another bakery. Well of course I had to stop and be nosey to find out what happened to the former bakery. I met the new owner who is a total sweetheart, just trying to live her dream. I meet her husband and he tells me I look familiar. Like I don't hear that a hundred times a day. I always want to say, "Oh, you probably recognize me from Little Darlings "(strip club) just to see the look on their faces. But I haven't had the nerve to do that. Maybe some day. Anyway.... Turns out we worked together a million years ago. I still can't believe that he remembered me. One thing led to another and I'm hanging out in their bakery making goodies like the crazed woman that I am. It's one of those win/win situations. They need help in the kitchen, and I need help with my sanity. They're allowing me to go into their kitchen and bake anything my heart desires for them to sell. They thank me for my generosity. I want them to succeed because they truly are nice nice people. I can't thank them enough for letting me do what I love and escape my thoughts for a little while. Sounds like a good deal to me. Don't you think?

News will be posted when I know more....but in the meantime....be good to your liver.

Public Service Announcement

2010-04-08T14:49:00.000-07:00

My previous blog post was written, and poorly I might add, under the influence of Ambien. I have nooooo recollection of writing it at all. The last thing I remember is uploading a few pictures. I apparently texted my daughter during this time as well. She has had a few good laughs at my expense and I'm sure she has shared texts with everyone she has ever spoken to in her entire life.
I was going to delete it...but then I thought, eeeehhh, why? who cares? and who reads my stupid blog anyway? So..for the 2-3 of you who do read it, go ahead, laugh at my misspellings and poor sentence structure. I had a friend at work read it with me today and we were both laughing so hard I was wheezing and crying, and she was about to wet her pants. Laughing is good....takes my mind off the other crap that's been invading all of my thoughts lately.

Now you all know why I don't drink. It's not a pretty sight.

I've lost my blogging touch

2010-04-07T21:35:00.001-07:00

Once again, I have placed all my hopes and dreams on a lilac bush who this year gave me 2 blooms. "heavy sigh for sure" Every day I more and more convince myself that I am NOT "Old McDonald" I don't eat at McDonald's, and I am neither the Farmer in the Dell. what I know about farming skills would fill up a small jelly jar. So much for planting seed and small plants in th yard with love and care. So much for the ridiculous wind that comes and tears at their little leaves and prevents them from standing tall. my watermelon aren't looking so great and I htink my tomattoes are fixing to give up on me. just doesn't seem to be my turn at Farmer of the Year here in the stinkin' desert. I'm still trying though. every night after work I go out with the hose and lovinly look over everything that needs a drink and a little pep talk. my mad photo skills are starting to slip lately cuz I've had waay too much crap dumped on my headh the past week. Figured I needed to get to a doctor since I hadn't seen one in a very long time. In my defense i took care of my mom and dad and then after my dad passed away , I promised my dad that I would take care of mom for the rest of her life. And I meant every word of it. Working two jobs to pay for her prescriptions, co-pays, procedures, hospital visits, ER visits.I hasnt been easy. She's my mother, I can't leave her alone. But I had to go to work to pay for all this stuff and after she god home from the hospital, she was very needy. So I'm doing the best I can and don't pay me much attention tonight because I have finally decided to take an Ambien to see if I can get more than 3 hours sleep all night. I'm a little wonky right now. 'xcuse me.so where was I? Mom is sick I'm trying to care for 2 families with no financial help from anyone. hurtful but expected. These are gorgous poppies. Love them . such beautiful colors. I haven't had the inclination to go out to shoot photos lately.....I honestly would love to do a photo shool but I'm a little preoccupied at the present time. Was feeling like something was stuck in the back of my throat for a few weeks and I couldn't get it out. I was afraid to go for the barium swallow test...was I gonna speeeewwwww it everywhere and still have no results? So I didn't spew....wanted to a few time but kept it together. The results were that there is somethign wrong on my esopagus.. It's 60%narrowed. Could be a cyst/tumor pressing from my spinal cord . could be years of acid reflux causing troulble. So lets get some blood work done and see what esle we go going on. I must point out the the smashing of the boobs was wonderful and we had great results with the girls. The girls are fine!!!!! considering that my mom had breast cancer twice in the same boob...well, I'm glal I didn't follow in her footsteps this time.My crisis seems to be a few things....my liver enzymes are sky high. They aren' sure why right now. Quess theres a possibility that all those years in the hopstial ER and OR have caught up with me and I have Hepatitis C. That's certainly a worry. My cholosterol is sky high. Gonna go to the lab on Friday morning and have a CT Scan of my throat and my abdomen. She's mentioned autoimmune diseases and I'd reater not think about those tonight...or any night. If thre's something wrong with my liver, I dunno what they'll do . I should't be writing on sleepy time medicine.

I'm scared....I'm trying not to worry about it too much because there isn't anything I can do at this point, but man....this is some scary shit...from possibly small gallstones to hepatiis c to liver cancer, to colon cancer, to scleroderma.

sorry i took the sleeping pills before it started typing this. CT scan is friday morning. throat and abdomen. Guess I'd better where my lucky socks for that one, huh? ok time to go, i'm nodding out. I'll let you know how it goes.

Stuff I've been doing lately that's kept me from blogging

2010-03-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

Cleaning the fridge has always been one of my favorite jobs. I have a hard time sleeping the night before a good "mucking out" just due to the anticipation of what kind of science projects we'll find. I wake up early, shower and dress in my freshly ironed mom frock, don a crisp new apron and "casual yet appropriate" pumps. I always have a tough time finding just the right jewelry to wear so I usually keep it simple with just a wristwatch and maybe a simple strand of pearls. You don't want to be over dressed unless of course you plan on doing this in the evening, and then you're talking a whole nuther wardrobe.
I found a bowl of chicken salad wedged waaaay in the back of the bottom shelf. It's been there for at least a month because we gave up chicken for Lent. I'm kidding...we gave up chicken for our New Year's Resolution. Anyway, that was fun to see and even more fun to smell. Then there was something that looked like either very old meat or very new cheese. Not too sure about that one so I decided to toss it. Even the dogs were keeping their distance when I pulled that out. There was a plastic bag with cucumber soup in it...but silly me...who puts soup in a plastic bag? It was just nature taking its course on what used to be solid vegetables. I had a good laugh and a couple of gags over that one. So... anybody want to come to my house for "pot luck" dinner? Just kidding.

Taking one of the weenie dogs to the vet.....again. Poor little guy either stepped on a bee or was stung by a scorpion. Either way he wasn't feeling all that great, but frankly I think he was faking it just a little bit to get to ride in the car. Good news is he's back to causing trouble, barking at the air, rooting me out of bed, and acting like we never feed him...ever. We planted a vegetable garden and I feel like such a farmer. Should I get some chickens so I never have to go to the store and buy eggs ever again? uhh, no. probably not. I'm pretty sure there's a "no chickens allowed" rule with our homeowners association.

Making fabulous chocolate cake from scratch cuz I have nothing better to do when I get home from work at 6:00 in the evening.

Making butter. Yeah, that's right...homemade butter, baby! I didn't wake up one day and say, "I think I'll try my hand at making butter today."I don't roll that way. What happened was I went to Costco to pick up a few things after work one night and I needed some whipping cream and of couse as we all know, you can't buy normal size stuff at Costco. So I ended up with the 13 gallon container of whipping cream and silly me, only needed 1/2 cup. Whew! I hate it when I'm not sure I'm going to have enough of something. I couldn't very well serve my family variations of whipped cream for the next 5 months so I decided to make some butter. Sure, they all laughed at me at first....called their friends and taunted me with "Why don't you just go to the store you freak?" But now they're singing a different tune, I'll tell you that right now. I'll also tell you that I'm having the locks changed while they're at work/school tomorrow. So there. I don't like these people anymore.

Then of course there's my job. My oh so much fun, wish you could be me, job. The sweater looks nice though, don't you think?

so...that's what I've been up to lately. I have such an exciting life I know there are people out there who are incredibly jealous of me. They should be. It doesn't get much better than this...and if that's true, somebody shoot me now.

this day can not end fast enough for me

2010-03-02T15:45:00.000-08:00

Ever have one of those days where you wish you had lapsed into a sugar coma from eating an entire bag of jelly beans and washed it down with a Dr. Pepper before work just so you don’t have to leave the house? Sure you have. Or where you wish your place of work went up in flames during the wee hours of the morning and unfortunately all the work that was piled on and around your desk is now a huge pile of smoldering ashes? Or that your eyeballs popped out and rolled under the table somewhere and now you can’t find them? I’m sure you have. In this economic climate it’s just plain wrong to ever say anything like, “God, I hate this job.” Because there will inevitably be someone who is without a job, or knows someone who is without a job, or watched a news segment about someone without a job and who will say, “Well, at least you HAVE a job.” That’s not the point, now, is it? You and I both know we’re glad to be gainfully employed, but c’mon, don’t even try to tell me that every single person on the planet hasn’t said the aforementioned quote at least once in awhile. Personally, I say it all the damn time. Today has been a record for me. I think I said it…and added a few adjectives …about 149 times.
It’s not the actual job I hate. It’s the administrative part of my job that makes me want to jam my own arms and legs into the paper shredder. I’m not much of a desk worker kind of person. I like working with the patients and doing nursing type things. I hate paperwork with a passion and I have more than my share of it in this job. Why just today I received a forwarded email from the administrator of the department regarding my med school issued credit card. Without going into boring details here’s the jest of what I have to deal with on a daily basis. I charge stuff on my school credit card. I get a statement twice a month and have to justify/prove/account for everything on it. I have to have the original receipts and paperclip them in the order in which they appear on the statement with ONE paperclip only, no staples, to the back of the statement. I take copies cuz I trust no one. Then I send it in and all is right with the world and I can spend the rest of the day thinking about puppies and unicorns. That is until they send an email to the administrator threatening to freeze every cock-a-doody credit card in the department if that moron, Ruth in genetics, doesn’t get her papers in order. In this month’s saga, I paid my doctor’s dues for a medical organization. I attached a letter from the dean stating what the charge was for, an email confirmation from the organization stating what the charge was for, and a third confirmation regarding the charge. The forwarded email says, “ please send invoice for this purchase. Receipt does not show what was purchased. “ How many times can you say, “Confirmation for membership dues paid.”?????? Why, I don’t think those folks can read.
This is my life. Everyday something stupid and asinine like this pops up and I want to run through the halls, arms flailing, eyeballs bugging, screaming at the top of my lungs until I find the person who wrote this stupid email and yank their arm off and beat them half to death with the bloody stub. But I digress. I am a person of peace….I am a child of the universe….I am well on my way to being a homicidal maniac if I stay here much longer. And if you’re thinking that I’m just a tad bit on edge…you’d be right. I didn’t sleep last night.
Our state has a budget deficit of almost a billion dollars. Yes, I meant “b” not “m” and let me just say that I can think of a whole lot of jobs that could be eliminated and help with that deficit. In the time it took that idiot to fire off that email, she could have actually done her job and looked at the papers I sent in and processed my statement. As it is, I had to print up the email, get my copy of the statement (precisely why I make copies cuz if anything can go wrong it will), go to the administrators office with the whole shit-load of papers, complain to her about it for 5 mintues, listen to her complain to me about it for 7 minutes, go back to my office, find the form online that I must now fill out, run around like a woman on a mission to get signatures, and mail it back to Reno. Now tell me, how cost effective is this? I rest my case.
Carry on.

Great Weekend

2010-03-02T02:40:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was the kind I wish I could have every weekend. Not much housework, and lots of stuff I always wish we had time for. We've had lots of rain this past month, more than we've had in over a year which is great! When the sun came out on Sunday we headed for the nursery to buy plants.

Nope...that's not our backyard. we were looking for a few trees to plant in the back. I was in hopes that we would get a few fruit trees but of course that didn't happen because as we all know, my husband has issues with actually spending money. Why buy this beautiful tree for $49 when you can get this container full of spindly sticks for $12? Makes complete sense to him. I was busy picking out vegetables and some flowers while he scouted out trees. We ended up getting some flowering plum trees. We cleared out a little spot in the backyard and Betina and I planted some vegetables. Of course the dogs had to come along and help. I'm sure they peed on everything the minute I came back in the house. They're sneaky like that.

Lilacs...always a favorite. I was trying to figure out how to get this in the cart without him noticing but it didn't work. Maybe I'll go back to the nursery without him one day, buy it, take it home and plant it and then when he asks where it came from I'll just say, "That? oh, that's been there for years." and see if he believes it. worked with jewelry and clothes for years, why not lilac bushes?

I have a little tradition that I started when the kids were little. I buy ladybugs every spring (If I can find them) and put them out in our rose garden to eat the aphids. I can't believe the price of ladybugs these days! I paid 8 bucks for a small container. Where do they come from? What kind of warehouse? How do you get them to stay in the little cup while you put the lid on?

it's 3am. i have to go to work in 4 hours. I'm getting too old for this insomnia crap, I'll tell you that right now. Off to go toss and turn for awhile.

hmm

2010-02-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

I just spent the past 45 minutes writing for this stupid blog...and somehow it has mysteriously disappeared. How is that even possible? I'm too lazy to write it all over again but suffice it to say that it was probably worthy of being published and made into a major movie. . Take my word for it...it was great. pphhhtt, sure.

Highlights of the missing post:

digging up flower beds and planting new beautiful flowers
having 5 weiner dogs under one roof for the weekend
weiner dogs digging in the flower beds but not really helping

there was other stuff but I can't remember it all right now because my brain is objecting to actually working any more tonight. Just take my word for it, it was an amazing post and you would have loved it.
I know what you're thinking...this blog has NEVER been interesting...it's usefullness is in its ability to help you sleep. I've served my purpose.
Time to make some popcorn and chill out . Good night everyone.

2010-02-21T20:18:00.001-08:00

I'm still here

2010-02-18T20:54:00.001-08:00

There are no pictures with this post. I'm too lazy to look through the 4 million photos I have on my computer and pick something. Yes, I know I'm lame. Thank you for the reminder. I am also the most dull and boring person on the planet and I know this to be true. Lately my life has been go to work and come home. Well, that's not entirely true. Last week we went out to a benefit show. One of Jeff's roommates was hit by a car while walking across the street...and they drove off. Hit and run. She is 19 years old, and was in the hospital for a month. Anyway, a bunch of the kids got together to play music and perform dance numbers (Betina and a friend did a belly dance routine that was awesome) to raise money for her. Besides the tremendous amount of money that they brought in, we had a great time listening to all the different bands. Then, after she was released from the hospital I've been going over to play mom/nurse to make sure she's eating and being taken care of. Don't ask about her mother...just don't. Again, it never ceases to amaze me how people just decide they don't want to be parents anymore. Just like that. I'm done...you're on your own...good luck...taa taa.
So...other than that I'm just pretty low key around here. The grant that pays my job is up on March 31 and part of me wishes I won't get picked up again. I need the money...who doesn't? I still have my mom to take care of but sheesh, a little time at home would be pretty nice for a change.
I have nothing funny or witty to say tonight so I guess that should be my cue to end this. Have a great weekend!

I'm a danger to myself and possibly others

2010-01-17T18:22:00.001-08:00

We'll start with these. Look at those pills. This is their actual size. No, really, it is. Recently I was in need of one of these horse pills and realizing that I have a difficult time swallowing pills, I "almost" cut it in half but thought I was being a big baby and decided to suck it up (no pun intended) and be done with it. I took the pill (in a wheel barrow) and a glass of water into the bathroom so I wouldn't embarrass myself if I gagged or eeeckk, even threw up. Ok, so I'm in the bathroom and I take a huge gulp of water and sure enough, I start to gag on the pill. Now I'm gonna get a little visual here folks so turn your head if you must. Usually gagging either makes the pill go down or causes it to fly out of my mouth with great velocity. It did neither this time. It lodged it in my throat, completely obstructing my airway. I'm pounding myself on the chest, trying my hardest to draw in a breath and....nothing. I'm beginning to panic. I know that my mother and Betina are in the family room and I don't want to alarm mom but I am starting to see spots before my eyes and I realize I'm about to pass out and I need help NOW. I remembered that Scott was working in the garage so I run, still gasping for air and beating on my chest. I make it to the garage where the look on my face coupled with the sound of me trying to breathe gets his attention immediately. He's asking me what is wrong and I'm so freaked out I can't even do the universal sign for choking. I just keep beating my chest like King Kong and Scott is basically paying Pictionary trying to figure out what is wrong. He thinks I'm having an asthma attack and when I shake my head to that he figures it out pretty quickly. Whew, guess all that medial training finally paid off. By now I'm convinced that I'm going to pass out and subsequently die when he turns me around to do the Heimlich. Now, in his defense, I don't know that he's ever had to actually perform the Heimlich on anyone...and if he has I'm sure it was on a kid (since he's a kid doc) but damn...the hand placement was all wrong. I mean, if I wanted to have my spleen ruptured it was a good bet that would happen, but as it was it wouldn't have dislodged a pill that was slowly eroding my esophagus. Sorry honey, I'm just keeping it real and don't worry, I won't sue you for malpractice. I bent over, stuck my fingers down my throat, gagged and started throw up and it moved down my throat. I had a sore throat for about 2 days but I lived to tell about it. Moral of the story: when in doubt cut the pill in half....and don't run to a pediatrician who is cleaning lawn tools and can't find your belly button. ok, I admit that I was wearing some weird clothes that day which probably didn't help with the location of the belly button...happy now?

I have these measuring cups. The only difference is that one of mine is now without it's handle. I'll tell you why. It's because I was cleaning the kitchen after a long morning of baking goodies and my mind was a little preoccupied with thoughts of saving the world when I turned on the garbage disposal and wham-o!!! Apparently the smallest of measuring cups fell into the disposal and was being ground into oblivion. As I reached for the switch a huge piece of metal flew out and grazed me across the temple. It was the handle. Wow...totally didn't expect that. With just the slightest of injuries and a minimal amount of blood, I survived. The measuring cup is toast and I now cannot make anything that needs 1/4 of a cup so don't expect much from me, ok?

So...I almost died....twice....by my own hand (s).....with no help from anyone. That's just plain sad. And stupid. It could be that the purpose of my life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Happy New Year

2010-01-02T19:08:00.001-08:00

Surprise!!!! I'm back. I'm not sure why I've been away so long. Work, family, holidays, carpal tunnel syndrome, small pox, and a bad case of the mange....those are my only excuses. Please accept them.

I don't know about you but my new year started out in typical Ruth style....crappy. I left yesterday morning for yet another fun filled week in Kentucky. I was pretty sure that Kentucky wasn't a real hot spot for New Year's Eve fun, but that was until I got to aairport. Full flight and it seemed to me that I managed to get on a flight with an Octomom convention. There were screaming kids in practically every aisle. I was kinda hoping the flight attendants would pass out packets of knock out drops instead of peanuts....but it was only a dream. It was a long flight from Vegas to Chicago. The airlines only accept credit cards for alcoholic beverages these days and I didn't want to max out my card. There had already been one flight delay and now I had a 2 hour layover in Chicago. Due to mechanical difficulties that turned into 3 1/2 hours. It was 12 degrees in Chicago and after they worked on the plane for awhile they deemed it worthy of flight. Somehow I didn't take much comfort in that. Why couldn't we just have a new plane? Once again, screaming children took over the aircraft and I for one was glad we only had a 45 minute flight. It was the longest 45 minutes in history.
I needed to take a taxi to my hotel and my driver spoke so little English that I had to write down the address for him. About 2 minutes into the drive I'm thinking to myself, "Hmm, is he really a taxi driver or did I just get into some random vehicle?" He was driving like a maniac and after glancing at the spedometer and seeing the needle past 80 I was afraid to look again. I felt like we were going warp speed down the freeway and Scotty was telling me the we needed more dilithium crystals and Mr. Spock was saying it was totally illogical.

So...here I am...smack dab in the middle of a king sized bed....a tilted four poster bed that's making me a little dizzy to look at it. I made it through one day of this clinic and I have 5 more to go. I'm in need of some good thoughts. I've walked to theCircle K twice since I've been here and that's about all there is around here. It's freakin' freezing out there...so cold that last night I was trying to call home while I walked the one block to the Circle K and my fingers were so cold I couldn't get my iPhone to work. Seriously. What's the world coming to?

Gonna try to get some sleep now. We have a long day tomorrow.
So anyway, I'm back. whatever that means.

Another year older...

2009-09-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

ugh. but what's the alternative? Yeah, I know. So, I'll take the added number and just accept it. It was a great birthday. I have been wanting one of these...a Kindle electronic reader for a long time. p.s. That's not my hand in the picture. I've had it a little over a week and I've read two books already. I love it. It's fabulous. Thanks honey!

The weather has started to finally cool off at night. Still hotter than crap during the day, but now that the nights are cooler, I think I'll start walking again. Considering that my nightly diet has been utterly ridiculous of late. The other night I had banana bread and the remains of a bag of Fritos for dinner. Mmm, healthy.

Nothing but work and trying to organize my house lately. I'm feeling the need to simplify and declutter. Scott could not be happier about this. He hates all my 'craft crap' and yes, it takes up way too much space. No, I'm not a hoarder. I'm a collector....big difference baby!

I'm boring myself so I'm gonna get in bed and read...with my lightweight, easy to read, change the font size whenever you want, built in dictionary, reader. Later.

roller coaster coupla days

2009-09-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

Granted, this picture has nothing to do with roller coasters...I just like it.

Yesterday I had an amazing lunch with an amazing friend. We haven't seen each other in ages and I loved that we could catch up and enjoy each other's company. I hope we get to do it more often. She's one of my all time favorite people and just being around her makes me see unicorns and rainbows.
That was the up part of the roller coaster. Today was dealing with AT&T and Cox Cable. (need I say more?) gggrrr. Just a little FYI..... Do you go to FaceBook? I don't but apparently there are little pop ups like "what's your IQ?" and you click on it, take the little test and at the end it asks for your cell number so they can text your score to you. Yeah, right. What they really do is sign you up for shit you never intended to sign up for...EVER! Betina accidently did this last month and was signed up for "daily amazing facts", "daily horoscope" and "too lazy text alerts". Those are things you just KNOW you can't live without. So, at $9.99 a pop per month I was into an extra $60.00 (with tax) on my last two bills that I admit I didn't check out with a fine tooth comb cuz I just got the iPhone and I knew I had extra charges on there for that. Glad I looked at it today. I called AT&T, and what do you know, they reveresed the charges. I don't know about you, but that sounds illegal to me. Sounds like they're the ones who own "daily amazing facts" since she was all too willing to credit my account without me having to go ballistic on her hieney. Bastards. I hate them.
THEN.....I've been paying mom's cable bill for the past 3 years. Paying it online for the past 2 1/2 years. All of a sudden I can't get online to pay it, and naturally, there's no paper bill. Trying to call Cox Cable and actually speak with a human is harder than trying to get through to the DMV. I finally get a human. I tell her how when I go online to pay the bill the only account that shows up is my home and not my mother's. I tell her that since I have gone "paperless" I don't receive one in the mail. "Ma'am, I need your account number." ::heavy sigh:: "Uhh, have you not listened to what I just spent the last 5 minutes telling you? I don't have anything with my account number on it." We went back and forth for a few more minutes and then the twit said it was my fault I couldn't get online. I must have done something. She didn't elaborate much more than that, just that I must have done something. I told her the website was different and since they had changed I was unable to log on. She tells me they changed their website so yeah, I did something.
Frustration and the need to scream and grab an inhaler made me hang up the phone and call back to get someone else. After going through the 27 minutes of "Do you already have an account? If so, say 'yes' "
"yes" "I'm sorry I didn't understand that, please say 'yes' or 'no'" WHAATT???? Hello, English is my first and only language....how can you screw up saying "yes"????????? I have no accent, I have no orthodontic appliances in my mouth, I don't have a lisp,and I wasn't chewing gum or eating Fritos...pphhtt. Anyway, a nice lady answered and was able to take care of everything lickety split. Oh for joy!

Well, after all that strife and pain I felt I deserved a treat. It's amazing what a couple of peanut butter cups an almond joy and a Dr. Pepper will do for you. That's how I roll, so don't start on me, k?

It's 9:30 pm and I have banana bread in the oven...what are you doing?

Farewell to Mr. Kennedy

2009-08-27T18:58:00.001-07:00

It doesn't matter if you're a republican or a democrat....we've all lost a great progressive champion who had a tremendous impact on all our lives.
If you’re 18 years old and stepping into a voting booth for the first time, you can thank Senator Kennedy for helping to secure your right to participate.
If you’re an African-American in the South seeking fair representation, you can thank Senator Kennedy for being a tireless partner in the drive to renew and defend the Voting Rights Act.
If you work hard for a living in difficult conditions, you can thank Senator Kennedy for his role in establishing the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.
If your family has been touched by cancer, you can thank Senator Kennedy for fighting for increased funding for a cure.
If you are disabled and want to live a full life, you can thank Senator Kennedy for critical protections in the Americans with Disabilities Act.
If you’re a poor child with health insurance from the landmark State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), you can thank Senator Kennedy for that too.

Throughout his career, Senator Kennedy believed in a simple premise: that our society's greatness lies in its ability and willingness to provide for its less fortunate members. Whether striving to increase the minimum wage, ensuring that all children have medical insurance, or securing better access to higher education, Senator Kennedy always showed that he cared deeply for those whose needs exceed their political clout. Unbowed by personal setbacks or by the terrible sorrows that have fallen upon his family, his spirit continued to soar, and he continued to work as hard as ever to make his dreams a reality.

Senator Kennedy and his staff wrote over 2,500 bills, of which over 300 were enacted into law. he co-sponsored over 550 bills that became law since 1973.
For decades, he was considered the most powerful voice in the Senate for gay rights as a strong supporter of HIV/AIDS funding, hate crimes legislation and same-sex marriage.

"I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky; and all I ask is a tall ship and a
star to steer her by." John Masefield

Godspeed, Teddy.

my latest obsessions

2009-08-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

No new news (that's weird to say outloud) about Sara at the present time. There is another test for her to have before we move on to other things, so we'll see how that turns out. I hate the wait. So in the meantime, I am immersing myself in some crafty things to keep my mind off nephrologists for Sara and my mom seeing a hemotologist/oncologist on Tuesday to find out why she's so dang anemic all the time. Good Lord, it's always something. But anyway, I've been making hats for the kids to wear this winter while snowboarding and, well....just being in the cold. This little thingy is so fun. It's easier than crocheting and it goes so fast. I just love it. I've made 3 hats for my sweet little nephew and 4 so far for adults. It's mindless busy work and I love it. My next project with it will be scarfs. Go buy one. I've had my iPhone for about a month now and I love it more than...well, I love it lots. I can't get enough of the cool things it can do and I just want to know how I ever lived without it!!!!!

It's just about the most amazing thing since sliced bread. I don't think I could ever go back to a regular phone now. I'm such a technology snob.

And these....lovely, soft, aromatic vanilla beans. mmmmmm, nothing better than vanilla. I'm still making vanilla extract, and vanilla sugar. I've got all the bottles stored on a shelf in our closet and I love opening the door and having the warm scent of vanilla surround me.

Oh, and I took the leftover vodka, added some lemon peel (without the yiggy white stuff) threw it all in a bottle and soon it will be lemon extract. I feel like such a domestic goddess.

So that's about it for me right now. Sick to death of the heat and cannot wait for fall to arrive...which as we all know only means the air conditoners aren't on 24/7. Speaking of which, we got our power bill yesterday and it was not a pretty sight. I had to hide the vodka with vanilla beans and lemon peels from Scott. Yeah, it was that disturbing.

Off to finish up another cap for Kris while I watch tv with Scott. Something I don't do very often.

My Girl

2009-08-02T19:55:00.001-07:00

This is my girl. My Sara. My heart. My soul. My life. My reason to live. My dreams. My baby girl. I know I posted this picture right after she graduated from college, but I wanted to look at it again because this just says it all about her. She's fun-loving, hilarious, incredibly smart,loyal, passionate, honest, and has a heart the size of Sri Lanka. (take my word for it, it's big)

This angel girl of mine has a friend close to her age who is in kidney failure. She's married with a small child and as if the kidney crap wasn't enough, she has diabetes too. She is on the kidney transplant list and Sara filled out all the paperwork to see if she could be a living donor.

She matched.

She went through a battery of tests and one of the tests came up in the high range. They decided to repeat the test and as of last week she was rejected as a donor because there is a chance there is something wrong with her kidneys. She was devastated that she couldn't help her friend. That's my daughter.

She had a kidney ultrasound on Saturday and I'm hoping we get the results tomorrow so we'll know what to do next. Please keep this precious, warm spot in my heart in your thoughts.

Eeewwww and Bleechh

2009-07-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

eeewww....just looking at that picture makes me itch all over. We had a friend over the other night and I offered him a blueberry cream cheese muffin that I had made earlier in the day. He took one and ate it while we sat around the dining table talking. About a half hour later he said he would like to have another one and we walked into the kitchen to find about a gazillion of these swarming over the entire plate of muffins. I think they enjoyed the muffins too. That is until we annihilated the bastards. Oh, but don't think we're rid of them...ohhhh noooo....they're like the dead pets in "Pet Semetary", they keep coming back. Ugh, I hate those yiggy ants. Oh well, just another one of those fun things I love about living in the desert. That's sarcasm in case you didn't know. So now every 5 seconds I feel like they're crawling all over me and I'm freaking out. Gotta go.....gonna go sneak into the kitchen and see if they're back. I've fooled them though, there aren't any muffins so they might as well leave.

Christmas in July

2009-07-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

Fa-la-la-la-la.....la....la....la....la!!! Sing along with me people!

It's about 105 degrees outside, the wind hits your face like a blow dryer spewing hot sand as soon as you step outside. BUT...inside, it's a cool 76 degrees and I'm feelin' like making Christmas presents. These are going to be the most awesome bottles of vanilla extract the world has ever seen. I'm starting now because it takes a few months to get good and vanilla-ey. I just made that word up. I do that a lot. I make up the spelling too. So there.

No, I haven't been sampling the vodka that I'm using to make this awesome vanilla...I'm just trying to get a head start on the holidays. I've always wanted to do a "homemade" (no, not HO made) Christmas where all the gifts are... well, homemade. Duh.

That's about all the fun stuff I've done today. Scott and I cleaned the house earlier. Now...I know I shouldn't look a gift-horse in the mouth, or in this case a gift-housecleaning-husband....but sheesh, men can really be...umm...not so bright when it comes to housekeeping. Scott likes to vacuum one room and then mop it...vacuum the next, mop and repeat. That's just plain dumb. But hey, he was doing that while I was doing the back breaking task of pouring vodka into bottles so who am I to stop him? I did ask why he did it that way and he got a little testy with me so I decided that while it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, at least I didn't have to do it. hehe. No, really, it's dumb. our family room and kitchen come together and it doesn't make sense to do it the way he's doing it. Ok, I'll shut up...but it's dumb. Really dumb.

I have some vodka left over...ohhh hey, there's a lemon over here....I think I'll make some lemon extract too. Dang, just call me the extract woman! Off to Target to return a top I thought would look "cute" on me but was definately anything but. Down right "eewww" is more like it. I may make a stop at the liquor store on the way back...need to make some Kahlua. Forget making dinner....I'm all about making stuff with alcohol today. Look, as long as there's a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread in the pantry, dinner's on the table folks.

THE WAY I SEE IT

2009-07-25T16:49:00.000-07:00

....sorta blurry at the moment. I tend to put things off. Unpleasant things like going to the doctor for an exam when I'm not sick, getting my hair cut when I don't feel like being depressed for weeks afterwards, mucking through all my ridiculous scrapbooking supplies. I gotta stop, I'm making myself suicidal.
So we're all aware (some of us more than others) how I feel about growing old. Not just growing old in general...but MY growing old. To hell with the rest of you, you're on your own. For me I always say that I'm going into my old age kicking and screaming. Yeah, kicking until I snap a hip and screaming until my pathetic lungs give out on me which at the rate I'm going should be by next Thursday at the latest.
I always prided myself on my perfect eyesight. Need me to read that street sign a mile away? No problem. Watching a football game and can't quite make out the score...I got it. So, while I still have freakishly good distance eyesight my close up vision is going down the toilet at record breaking speed. My dear friend Elizabeth calls them "aging eyes" I call it a lot of other things but this being somewhat of a "G" rated blog...well, you know what I mean. So I have these reading glasses. I'm not talking one or two pair...oh Lord, no. I have a pair in every room of the house. I have 3 pair at work. I keep one on top of my head and a pair in my purse. I just realized this very second that I don't have a pair in my new car. Excuse me while I go and remedy that.
I'm back.
I'm not really sure what prompted me to make the eye exam appointment especially since I really do need to have a physical exam sometime this decade. Maybe it was because I didn't have to shave my legs for it. Ok, I admit it, that was TOTALLY the reason I allowed myself to go.
My insurance isn't accepted by my ophthalmologist any longer. Crap, and I really like her too. Yeah, I realize the last time I saw her was about 10 years ago but I carry feelings for people a long time, ok? I asked how much it would cost for an exam out of pocket and was told $350. I don't like her that much. Hell, I can't think of too many people I do like for that much money. That's just too expensive, and as I told a friend, your eyesight isn't worth spending tons of money on now is it? so I check out our insurance and discover that it won't cover ophthalmology, just optometry. Do you ever get those two mixed up? I do. I still have to stop and think about it sometimes. Sure, it's usually after a margarita or a mojito or two, but still.
I decide to go see the eye folks at Wal-Mart. "Yes, you have two eyes, and yes, they move simultaneously...most of the time. No, they don't roll up into the top of your head so I think I can say with all my professional medical knowledge that you're a sighted person." That's probably how it's going to go down.

Ok, I was wrong. Completely and totally wrong. The doctor and the receptionist could not have been nicer and she dilated the crap out of my eyes just like the other eye doctor always did but the cool thing about it (depending on your point of view I guess) was that I got to go out and look around at worthless junk in Wal-Mart while I waited for the drops to fully dilate my eyes. Now...tell me you can get that kind of service at an ophthalmologist's office. I think not.

We talk about my options and she advised contact lenses. Acckk...eyeball stuff! I totally HATE anything to do with eyeballs. So much so that I won't even go into how I managed to get out of seeing yiggy eyeball surgery every single day I was in my surgical rotation in nursing school. Let me just say...THAT took talent.

I let her put the contacts in and she didn't even have to tie me to the chair or strap my head down and use toothpicks to keep my eyelids open. I was shocked...shocked I tell you. So I had to have "training" which is something like getting your drivers permit I think. Two people in the waiting room told me it took them over an hour to finish "training" and I began to panic. Oh teriffic...these are intelligent looking people who appear to have use of all 8 fingers and both opposable thumbs. I'll fail the "training". I'll be made a laughing stock. I'll have to pack up my belongings and move to another town...which isn't easy living here in the stinkin' desert, there aren't many towns around.
I'm proud to say that it only took me 20 minutes until I got to sign off on my "training" papers. I didn't get a cake, or a diploma which I thought was kind of sad, considering we were in a Wal-Mart and I happen to know they have those things...but oh well. At least I didn't embarrass myself by having to stay there the rest of the day until closing time.

I'm not sure this is the correct prescription for me. She said it may take some tweaking and in fact I did go back this morning for a new pair and it does seem better but maybe I'm just going to have to give it a little time for my eyes to adjust. My closeup vision is great but things at a distance are a bit blurry and the top of my head feels very different without the glasses resting there. Maybe I can start wearing hats now.

This is how we do it

2009-07-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

So this is what weenie dogs do when I'm at work? Life is really tough for them, don't you think? All three wiener dogs were sacked out all day in various parts of the house but who can blame them. It's so miserably hot and muggy right now I don't even feel like getting out, which is good because I've taken a few days off work (comp time) now that I'm back from Kentucky and I just love being home. So much so that I did this......

I fired up the oven (ewww hot) and I made this fabulous cake. Slightly lemon flavored with raspberry filling and a 'knock your mama down to get to the bowl' frosting with coconut. Good Lord....it was worth heating the entire house up for this little goodie.

You know....I really am serious when I say that I could get used to being home all the time. I have loved being able to sit down and read when I want...do some crafty things, and bake like a possessed woman whenever the urge strikes me. I can't say much for housekeeping at this point, I've been pacing myself as far as that goes. I usually try to put that off for as long as possible. I've more important things to do, like bake cakes from scratch, whip up frosting over a simmering pot of hot water and eat like a mad crazy person.

2009-07-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

This....and the University of Louisville Neuropsychology Department are pretty much all I've seen since arriving here last Tuesday. Yippie-ti-yo, these are some fancy digs, don't you agree? I find the lacy covering over the bed to be an especially nice touch. Ohh, and check out the wall covering. How.....straight!

I'm not sure so don't quote me on this one, but I think they must have a florist on staff here at the hotel. It takes some real talent to create such a...a...linear arrangement like this one. Not everyone has that talent. Thank God. I would have taken a picture of my little bitty kitchenette but that would mean I would have to get up out of this exquisite bed, and I'm just not in the mood to do that right now. It's been an extremely long day and I'm a tad bit cranky,tired,and lazy.

Oh, I forgot. The other thing I have seen besides about 2700 patients is this infamous white squirrel. The first few times I came to Louisville, the grad students told me about the family of white squirrels that lived on the campus. It's my nature to believe just about anything I'm told, but hey, they're grad students....alcohol and working in genetics/psych can do strange things to you so I was a little skeptical. So now I have proof. They really do exist. Sorry I doubted you, guys.

I go home tomorrow and while I have loved the rainy, cloudy weather here in Kentucky....I'll be glad to get home and sleep in my own bed. I miss my family and I miss my weenie dogs. Naturally, I will hate to leave the fabulous room I've had for the past week, and I think before I check out I'm going to ask the hotel manager if they sell those lovely floral arrangements. I simply must have one. Now if I can just figure out where to pick up a bunch of white squirrels, I'll be a happy woman.

my ever so slight brush with politics today

2009-07-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

See these two pictures? You're probably wondering what they have to do with each other...aside from the fact the President Obama is fixin' to toss/throw/pitch a baseball and Air Force One is his own private plane. Wow, that is some huge aircraft. Is that really necessary? But I digress.

I'm traveling again for work. I got to the airport this morning bright and early for my 11:30 flight to St. Louis. I wanted to take the non-stop flight to Louisville, but it didn't arrive until midnight and I knew there wouldn't be anyone willing to pick me up so I chose the St. Louis/Louisville flight that arrived at 9pm. I'm just so considerate of others you know.

The flight to St. Louis was fine...no scary turbulence, no crazy passengers, just a nice, smooth flight. I arrive in St. Louis and start looking for my connecting flight. Man, there are a lot of people here. This is one busy airport. Oh and look, everyone seems kind of ticked off. I find the information screen and see that my flight (along with just about every other flight) is delayed. I knew I would have almost a 2 hour layover but now I was looking at FOUR FRICKIN' HOURS!!

good grief. What the hell is the problem? It looks like it's going to rain, but c'mon...it can't be the weather. It's not long before I find out that President Obama is in St. Louis to throw out the first pitch in some baseball game and that is the reason we're all delayed. Our economy is going to crap and we're spending all this money to fly the president to a stinkin' ballgame?????I can't even talk about it. Then we have a problem with the plane I'm supposed to board a little later. It's hit by lightning. I saw the tail section...and let me just say there is no way in hell I would have gotten on that plane if they had just said, "Oh, it's ok, it's just a little crispy on the outside!" I would have called it a day, taken a taxi to a hotel and started over in the morning.

So by now I'm thinking that the worst is behind us...I've had a bagel with cream cheese that cost me $8.00 (they think that's a fair price) and I could only gag down about a fourth of it before deciding to go hungry. Then all of a sudden about 9 of those highly trained TSA folks (sarcasm) show up and tell everyone in gate E2 (oh joy, my gate) to have all their carry on luggage ready for inspection. What? I've never had that happen. Great, I have a bottle of diarrhea medicine in my purse and I can just see the guy pulling it out in front of the 2700 people there saying, "And what is THIS for, ma'am?" Luckily, he didn't do that...he probably travels with Imodium too. I was asked about the bottle of water I had. Umm, I purchased it right over there for a mere $3.00. pphhht. A mom sitting next to me was asked about the bottle of juice that she had for her kids. Well duhh, we had to buy them here in the airport you moron!

Time passes slowly....then a miracle happens...we're ready to board. YEAH!!! The captain tells us to get aboard as quickly as possible because we want to beat Obama getting back to the airport before they shut down the airspace. For reasons unknown to me, probably some idiot who held up the line with a carry on bag the size of Oprah's wallet, we didn't make it. So that meant we had to sit on the runway for another 25 minutes. I wanted to shoot myself, but since weapons are not allowed on board any airline....I was out of luck.

I arrived in Louisville a little before midnight. I had to get a taxi to my hotel and the driver, who's nationality was a mystery to me, kept bad mouthing Obama and saying, "He's been in office almost a year and he's done nothing, nothing but make a mess and believe me, he doesn't know what he's in for with the people of Afghanistan." Maybe he's from Afghanistan. I didn't dare disagree with him,even to correct him that Obama has only been in office 6 months.. I just wanted to get out of the 100mph taxi in one piece at my hotel.

So here I am...almost 1am and I have to get up and be ready to see patients at 8. That job at Hot Dog on a Stick is looking better and better.

What I do when I'm depressed/bored/anxious

2009-06-30T20:03:00.001-07:00

I do very silly though creative things...like make cupcake hamburgers and sugar cookie fries. Uh-huh, it was one of those weekends. The 'burger' part is a brownie that I cut with a circle cookie cutter and then slapped on some colored frosting and sprinkled some sesame seeds on the top. People at work thought they were real and when they found out they were cupcakes, they all looked at me as though I should probably spend some time in the psych department. I can totally see why they would think that...trying to explain why I felt the need to turn on the oven when it was 107 degrees outside and spend the better part of the day making them was like trying to explain the concept of heaven to puppies.

Without going into a long drawn out story, I agreed to take in a young man who 'used' to be my son's best friend. This poor kid is a drug addict. Now before anyone goes and judges him, I don't think there is a drug addict or alcoholic out there who says to themselves one day, "You know, I think I'm going to totally mess up my life and the lives of all those around me by being addicted to this stuff." He's a good kid...he's just lost. And like the stupid person I am, I thought maybe I could help him. It clearly didn't work. He lied and brought drugs into our home and continued to take drugs even though he kept telling me how grateful he was that we were letting him stay and get his act together. I said he 'used' to be my son's best friend. Kris knew he was still doing drugs and in the end kicked him out of our house. I was trying to say that I only wanted to try and save his friend and that's when he informed me that he lost his friend years ago. I fear he may be right.
So...after that depressing experience, I found myself wanting to do something in the kitchen. Heaven forbid I should actually make a meal that was healthy and delicious. I could have even cleaned a closet or something. Hell, I could have sat around reading a good book but noooo, I make hamburger looking cupcakes for no apparent reason. I don't even have little kids to blame it on, like a school birthday party!
I need to get a grip...I'm trying to figure out how to make cupcake tacos and hot dogs. I have no earthly idea why.

More Failures

2009-06-17T11:51:00.001-07:00

The list of things I cannot do, or cannot do well, or shouldn't even attempt in the first place has just gotten longer.
I have lovingly taken care of my lime and lemon trees for two years. Nuthin. They bloom like crazy and then all the stinkin' blooms just fall off. This year I got lucky. Apparently I am being tested. I have ONE lemon on my tree. Yes, ONE! I go and check on it first thing every morning and again as soon as I get home from work at night. I just know that if something happens to it I will be completely devastated. No, really, I will be. Have some Prozac ready just in case, k?
Then there is the issue with the tomato plants. You stick the plants in the ground, water them, stake them and that's pretty much it, right? Well, apparently not. Last year and the year before I had a crop of tomatoes that would rival Hunt's or Heinz. This year I have two lousy tomatoes. And even they look pretty stinkin' pathetic.
I killed my english ivy plant....not sure how but it died a swift easy death I do believe. The plants in my office at work still look pretty decent...but I'm not holding out any hopes that they'll survive the summer with me taking care of them. If they start looking like they're going downhill I'm going fake plants...for sure.

So...more stuff that I suck at. Might as well check 'gardening' off my list of fun things to do. Ohhh...but I forgot! I planted a heart shaped potato in the ground a few months ago and now I have this gorgeous plant and I'm pretty sure I'll have lots of little potatoes at some point in time. I'm not sure how exactly it is that you know the potatoes are ready to be pulled up, guess I'll have to Google it or something.

Good thing my family isn't depending on this food for survival...cuz it would be too bad so sad for them. As it is, you don't have to have any gardening skills to make peanut butter cookies or cupcakes so I guess I'm still doin' pretty good. Time will tell.

Just some stuff

2009-06-09T20:33:00.001-07:00

This is my new car. Scott was online last week helping a friend find a new car. This one popped up and the price was so good he told the friend, "If you don't buy it, I will." So...the friend ended up with a Santa Fe and we now have this in our garage. I'm loving it. I've wanted a CRV for a long time and now all my vehicle dreams have come true. It's the same color as the picture too. Sweet!!

No, I don't have crabs. This is another photo from San Francisco. I'm pretty sure they weren't alive anymore or maybe they were trying out for Cirque de Soleil...not sure.

Another Japanese Tea Garden shot from Golden Gate Park in San Francisco.

I'm pretty down tonight. My mom was supposed to have her port taken out today since she isn't on dialysis anymore. Her heart rate was very low and her potassium level was elevated so now she's in the hospital. I just feel so bad for her. She was so excited to be getting rid of that stupid tubing after having it attached to her upper chest for the past 7 months. I'm just hoping that they'll get her all squared away and she'll be back home soon.

San Francisco

2009-05-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

ahhh, San Francisco...where else but Haight/Ashbury would you see this? Ok, maybe there are quite a few places in the US where this may be a common sight, but...nevermind. My all but grown kids wanted to sit on it but I told them it was probably crawling with lice and all sorts of hungry vermin just waiting for unsuspecting youngsters from Nevada to prey upon...rats even...in the cushions...hiding...razor sharp teeth... They kept their distance and are barely speaking to me now for some reason. Kids, go figure. I'm not 100% sure but it kind of looks like the first couch that Scott and I bought at the Goodwill store right after we got married for 40 bucks.

You can't show pictures of San Francisco without the traditional shot of the Golden Gate Bridge. Here it is...in all it's foggy glory. It was definitely cold and 'moist' that day. Loved it.

One of my favorite places, the Palace of Fine Arts. I think I could sit here for days and just watch the people and the birds. If I ever run away, this is probably where you'll find me.

I know, I know, it wouldn't be me without some flower photos. It's how I roll when I'm on vacation.

California poppies. Love them too. We had such a great time together. I believe we walked at least a hundred miles and I have the sore legs to prove it. We didn't rent a car this time, just took the bus everywhere which was an experience in and of itself but it was cheap and so much easier than trying to find a place to park. I highly recommend it. For $1.50 you can ride the damn bus all day...anywhere. Can't beat that.

That's all the pictures for tonight. I'll put some more up tomorrow. For those of you I talked to today and promised photos...they'll be up soon.

Holiday Weekend

2009-05-22T11:04:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love holiday weekends that just kind of sneak up on you? Sad to say, I completely forgot that it's Memorial Day on Monday. But that also means a three day weekend for us and even better than that, we're flying off to San Francisco tonight with all the kids and won't be back until Monday night. I'm just so excited. I know my family is too because this has been one of those weeks where just about every evening meal we've had has been something on a bun. If you can't slap it on a bun, I didn't fix it. Let's get real here, there are times when you just don't want to be bothered with the planning, the shopping, and the preparation of meals. This was my week. Shoot, I even wore the same pair of pants to work two days in a row. Yeah, it was definitely one of those weeks. So now we're off on an adventure and my family will get to eat something other than 'bun food' and they will rejoice.
Have a fabulous weekend and I'll be back with loads of photos. In the meantime, check out lastminutedeals.com or expedia for some smokin' deals on airfare and hotels. Seriously, we wouldn't have even thought of leaving town until we found this deal we couldn't possibly turn down.
Peace,
Ruth

Tra-la-Tra-la

2009-05-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you....last night was one of those lazy nights after work. I didn't want to cook, didn't really want to eat...barely wanted to breathe. So I did what I felt like doin' which was read. I tried to snuggle up all cozy like on the couch which is virtually impossible 99% of the time because of the wiener dogs who have to be right smack dab next to or on top of me. Anyway, the ceiling fans were blowing a cool light breeze on me and I got a little chilly and that's when it hit me. Crap, I need one of those stupid Snuggie things! Well, necessity is the mother of invention and so I had to fend for myself which pretty much meant I put my big honkin' terrycloth robe on backwards. Ha..take that stupid ridiculous monk robe lookin' Snuggie! I just saved myself twenty bucks. (like I would actually spend money on something that looks like it's straight out of the KKK)

So remember the hideous bruise I have on my right arm? (see previous post) I wanted to hurry the healing process along and I had been told to put a wet tea bag on it and that would help break up the bruise. Fine...I can do that. Add to that my wee medical knowledge which told me that moist heat would also dilate the blood vessels and help carry all the dead blood cells away so I figured hey, I'll heat up the tea bag and have the best of both worlds. Tossed the wet, drippy teabag in the microwave, slapped it on my arm and had Scott wrap Saran Wrap around my arm to hold it in place and hold the heat in. About 20 minutes later, after removing my ho-made Snuggie, I took the teabag off and I'll be damned if I don't have a bruised AND burned arm! Crap...I just can't get a break.

But...the day is not to be ruined. I got a call from my mom this morning. She was at dialysis and they told her all her latest tests have come back normal and she won't have to have dialysis anymore!!!!! You cannot know how wonderful this news is. I am so happy. I had everyone in my office crying tears of joy. Miracles do happen...yes they do. Amen.

life is just so funny...but I'm not laughing

2009-05-08T12:04:00.000-07:00

This is a close up of my right upper arm. Lovely, isn't it? Tuesday I was getting out of my car and just slightly ran into the car door. It didn't hurt all that bad, not writhing on the ground screaming in agony but within 2 hours I had this horrible knot and a ginormous bruise coming up. Now it hurts...in a big way and has swollen so much I look like a body builder. Well, maybe not but it's bigger than normal lets just say that.

I had a very nice day off on Wednesday until about 8pm. That's when everything seriously went down hill. Like the fool that I am I made a double batch of chex mix and munched on it off and on all day. I started feeling a little sick but just sort of passed it off as being overly tired from all the long hours at the clinic and too much chex mix. I tried to preoccupy myself with thoughts of all the 'homey' fun things I was going to do on this long extended weekend I was taking. Yeah, well, that has all changed. I'll spare the fun details but I will say that I was sick all night long and well into the next morning. Didn't stop until about 9am yesterday. Oh what a fun night I had. So I spent the entire day...and evening, in bed recovering. What a waste of a good day. I'm feeling better today, a little shaky and I have the headache from hell but I'm sure I'm going to live now so that's good.
No....I don't have swine flu. That starts out with a cough, and other respiratory symptoms. I just had stomach flu.
So today is just staying at home. It's so hot out and I don't feel like going out shopping or anything so I'm going to relax on the couch and watch a few movies. I have already watched "Flatliners" this morning. What a stupid movie. But it was fun to see a young Kevin Bacon, Julia Roberts and Keifer Sutherland. Not much more I can say about that. I can't believe the crap they have on cable tv...and then have the nerve to charge a ridiculous amount for it. HBO, Showtime, they're all the same. Maybe that's why I don't really watch tv much anymore. But, on days like this, it's a nice comfort so I'll stop complaining.

A Day Off

2009-05-06T10:41:00.001-07:00

ya see these? they will soon be plump, juicy, sweet grapes. I don't have a grapevine in my yard

per se... I just make sure the vines from the somewhat skeetchy neighbors over our back wall make it into our yard. I mean, it's only fair. They never pick them anyway so why shouldn't we have the chance to enjoy them? Looks like this is going to be a good grape year. Last year...mmmhhh, not so much. **edited to note that I realize now I forgot to rotate the picture of the hanging grapes... grapes do not grow sideways in Nevada.**

So, I'm home today taking pictures of baby grapes. Why may you ask am I not at work slaving away? Because I worked 9 straight days in a row until 7-8pm every night and I just decided that I needed a break today. Our Williams Syndrome Clinic was a success and I had the opportunity to meet some really great families. Sara and Betina came along to help play with the kids and I think Sara has fallen in love with a few of the kids.

Anyway, I feel like hammered dog dookie today and I plan on:

A. going to the bank

B. going to the grocery store

C. nothing else

I like my plan. In fact I am totally in love with my plan and wish I could utilize this very plan more often. But until such time that I can, I will just enjoy the moment and be happy for it. :::birds chirping, angels singing:::::

It's supposed to be almost 100 degrees today....ugh. I know I should be used to this but I just can't seem to embrace the 'hotness', the total and complete agony which is Las Vegas in the summer. Yeah, I know, it's technically still spring but somehow 100 degrees in early May and the knowledge that it ain't gonna get any better until October sounds like summer to me. bleecch....freakin' hate it.

ok, I'm off to do my chores for the day and then it's home again to do nuffin. Although, I just may make another Snapfish or Shutterfly photo book. I made one for my mom for Mother's day and it turned out gorgeous. I should be getting one in the mail any day now of one I made for myself which is a ton of my favorite pictures. I think sometimes that I may never go back to making scrapbooks again. These books are so simple and easy to do, and you can add text to them if you want. Great...another craft crap item to add to my list....online photo books.

Enjoy the day and I assure you I will do the same!

Patsy is Fabulous!!!

2009-04-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

I have this super dear friend, Patsy, who is truly more like my sister than a friend. She is one of the smartest, kindest, funniest, loving heart I have ever known. We have been friends for many years and my kids and I lovingly refer to her as Dr. Doolittle because she knows sooo much about animals. Bless her heart, she's had to comfort me many times over doggie issues...or my mom's bird...or Kristopher's turles. She's the best and she just proved it once again by fixing my blog. Patz...you know I love you to pieces, and thanks for bailing my sorry ass out again.

well, shit

2009-04-29T21:54:00.000-07:00

I'm about ready to throw my laptop in the toilet. I cannot for the life of me get this background stuff to work right. I'll PayPal someone $15 if they can fix it and keep me from having a meltdown. I'm serious. It was a quest and now I give up!!!!

The way it was

2009-04-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

(bad photo..yes, I know) Are these just about the cutest, weirdest little things you've ever seen? they're basically cake on a stick. How, you may ask, do you get cake to stay together on a stick without falling off? It's magic...it's an illusion. Nahhh...not really. You make a cake, crumble it up in a bowl, add some cream cheese frosting, smush it all together and mold it into the shape you want. Then you dip them in melted chocolate and then decorate. They're just too damned cute. Betina and I enjoyed a fun afternoon of creative cake ball making.
The day started off with a forced cleaning of the refrigerator and freezer in the kitchen. The fridge in the garage went Ka-blooey for good so it was crunch time to get everything inside the house before it was too late. Some things just didn't make the cut...those foil wrapped packets of "mystery meat" from 1947 had to go...as did the Inspector Gadget popscicles from 15 years ago.

Speaking of mystery meat...today one of my co-workers offered me a taco that she had for lunch. I really didn't want it but I felt it would be rude to refuse it. It looked good, shreded meat, cilantro, onions, tomatoes, lime juice all in a homemade tortilla. I took a bite and that's when she decided to tell me that it was lamb. Uh, yeah. I realized that after the second chew. So, once again not wanting to be rude I finished eating the rest. Oh I might as well be honest, I was trapped in a room with no trash can. After gagging it down, er, finishing, she THEN decides to tell me that her mom and dad got the meat over the weekend from a street vendor in Mexico. Whaaaa??? You have GOT to be kidding me. I may not live to see the light of day. I've already kissed my children farewell, called my mother and thanked her for giving me life, and told Scott where to find my will. He already knew that but I had to be dramatic about it anyway. I think I'm going to go spend my last hours with my wiener dogs. Farewell...

Guilty Pleasures

2009-03-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

The wind has blown half of Las Vegas into our yard tonight. Tell me again why we live here????
Other than that, it's been a pretty nice, relaxing weekend. I didn't get out of my jammies all day let alone even brush my hair. I know, shocking huh?

My husband is so sweet. While I was cleaning up my baking mess in the kitchen, he turned on 'Mad Max' for me. He knows Mel Gibson was my boyfriend at one time. That is before he turned into an old alcohol swizzling, anti-semetic dork.
Anyway, this is my list of guilty pleasures for this weekend. Keep in mind, I'm pretty low maintainence. (just keeping it real)

Spending most of Saturday morning with my mom...doing a little shopping and then out to lunch before she had to go to dialysis.

Repotting new tomato plants and flowers.

Buying gorgeous cut flowers to enjoy inside our home. Daffidils, tulips, and even a couple of sprigs of lilacs from my front yard.

Having my oldest son come over for a few hours.

Getting take out.

Spending the entire day being lazy today. Well, I cleaned the pantry and the fridge, but that was it.

Making and decorating cupcakes.

Making chocolate peanut butter cookies.

Sitting on the couch with my feet up watching the funniest guy ever, Jim Gaffigan and having hubby make and bring me dinner. :)

Being grateful for all of the above.

Allergies

2009-03-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

Tis a lovely allergy day here in the stinkin' desert...the wind is blowing a million miles per hour and the pollen has been sand blasted into my nasal cavity. Life is good. Zyrtec helps, but not if you have to go to work and actually sit up. I do believe I still have part of the keyboard impression on the right side of my face. So I had to choose...take the medication,but nod off at totally inappropriate times at work, like while talking to the boss or waiting for a fax to come through.....or not take the medication and sneeze every 4.3 seconds, look as though I have been crying for a solid month, and used snot rags all over my office. Tough choice I'll tell ya that right now. Today has been no medication. I'm a box of Kleenex away from calling it a day and going home.

Some things never change...

2009-03-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

or, I never learn. I saw my lovely daughter over the weekend and we had this fabulous 'mother/daughter get your hair done' sort of day planned. You know, a day full of girl stuff, shopping, hair dooin, eating, and a little more shopping. So Sara receives a text message from the stylist who is supposed to be doing my hair saying she's on her way to the hospital she thinks she has apendicitis. Yikes. Far be it for me to tell her, "Hey...I don't give a flying hurang if your pancreas is falling out...I WANT MY HAIR DONE!!" That would just be rude and I'm all about etiquette, baby. Sara knows I'm about to flip right out because I'm looking a little shaggy and I NEED a haircut. (think Joauqin Phoenix...without the beard) I'm pawned off on someone else and we're thinking all is right with the world.
I get there, talk to the stylist for a few minutes...you know, I like my natural blonde but some red might be cool...sure, a little brown is fine with me too. She's slower than molasses in January and I equate that with "she's doing a damn fine job with those paint brush thingys and enough aluminum foil to transmit gamma rays to far off galaxies." HA...this is ME we're talking about, remember???? I NEVER get a good color or haircut.
I think my brain must have known that I couldn't handle another traumatic hair disaster and therefore I was on some sort of animal survival instinct and closed my eyes vowing not to open them until she was finished.

When a stylist doesn't offer to give you a mirror to see the back of your head...you know things have gone horribly wrong. I don't know this for a fact because I have refused to look at the back since I know the front is so hideous. I look like a cross between a leopard and Pepe la Pew. Yeah...fantastic. And that's just the color. The "style" ppphhtt....I'm not sure what she was thinking in that department.

Knowing that my daughter is friends with most of the people who work there and I don't want to make things uncomfortable for her (isn't that just like me to think of others even when I'm about to have someone video me and plaster my hideousness on You Tube) I just kind of go, "Oh yeah, it's nice." Nice if the look you were going for was FREAK OF NATURE!!!!

Sara's stylist called her and said my Stevie Wonder of the hair styling world would re-do my hair for free. Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks. I mean, if that was her best work....I can't even finish that sentence.

No, it's not just me who thinks everything about my hair qualifies me for FEMA assistance...the administrator where I work gave me her stylists name and number as did 2 other people. Excellent.
Once again I'm sayin'...that's why I go to SuperCuts. You can't bitch too much about a $12 haircut. This one set me back 120.00. I should just pull a Britney Spears, shave my head and start over. It's lunch time....I think I'll go hat and scarf shopping.

Playing with light

2009-03-08T19:17:00.001-07:00

I love going to the Bellagio when they change the display every season. I only go early in the morning because I love the way the sunlight makes the flowers look like stained glass. I took my mom on Saturday before she went to dialysis and as is usual, I wasn't disappointed. My only wish is that it wouldn't be so crowded...it's hard to try and stoop for a photo with 75 people falling over you.

It's allergy season around here. We all sound like snot factories and the Kleenex folks can thank us for single-handedly keeping them in business. In fact, we did a Costco run today and stocked up on Zyrtec and snot rags. Now we have a plethora of supplies and a lot less money.

I'm sitting here at the dining table typing away and the rest of my family is cleaning up after dinner. Just as it should be. Ha! I think they assume I'm working on a project for the medical school. I don't know what gave them that idea,really I don't :::trying to look innocent::: but nonetheless I think they SHOULD take a turn. I know I've done more than my share of making meals around here for the past 20 plus years. Now if I can just get the weenie dogs to help out. I'm pretty sick of them using the excuse that they have no opposible thumbs. That one's getting reeeealll old.

Another thing that's really starting to get on my last nerve....that horribly stupid, disgusting commercial with the bears and the toilet paper. Who's the marketing genius who came up with that one? Bunch of guys sitting around one day and someone says, "Yeah, well, does a bear shit in the woods?" EUREKA!!! New campaign idea!!! And the latest one...you know you've seen it, the baby bear with the inferior toilet paper sticking to his butt. Please. Oh, and the Viagra commercials that show a million times over the weekend. Yeah, impotent guys...all of 'em...are sitting at home on the weekends watching tv. Hey, I just thought of something...I don't think I've seen a tampon/mini pad/maxi pad/pad with wings/pad without wings/wings without pads/PMS commerical for a long time. It's probably because I don't watch much tv anymore, and usually Scott has it on HBO or History Channel or something so maybe that's why. I haven't missed them. Who would?

Ok...I'm high on allergy medication, what can I say? Plus I lost an hour today. I hate that.

Think I'm gonna go take the dogs on a walk and no, I won't be taking any Charmin with me.

Well...it's Sunday night

2009-03-01T22:06:00.001-08:00

And that means....back to work tomorrow!!! I can barely contain myself I'm so excited. :::sarcasm a plenty:::

Why do the weekends pass by so quickly? I don't feel like I got a chance to do much of anything and it was a gorgeous coupla days and the plans and ideas I had in my head were marvelous if not fun-filled. I ended up grocery shopping, cleaning the house, laundry, cooking, driving all over the world, and spending money on crap I didn't need. Oh, and I spent 2 hours getting a crappy virus off of Kristopher's computer. Yea me! I'm sure it would have taken a computer knowledgeable person about 10 minutes but, whatever. Beware.... if a Microsoft looking thingy pops up on your screen and says to download Antivirus 360....doooonnnn't do it. I'm just sayin'.

I need to bake something. Not tonight though, it's too late. I also need to give this blog a face lift but I'm too lazy and maybe it's ADHD or something but I just can't seem to be bothered with instructions as to how to fix this thing up. Indeed I am pathetic. I readily admit it. I'm sure it's not that difficult, but I get easily distracted and/or frustrated. Oh what the hell, I'm going to go read the instructions and hopefully the next time I come back I'll have a fresh new blog.

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T09:03:00.000-08:00

By now I guess everyone has seen either the video or the picture of this poor, sweet little koala from Australia. It made me cry. The wildfire situation in Australia is so devastating and having worked with the American Red Cross after hurricanes Katrina and Rita, I know the need for help is going tobe tremendous. There was just something in the way that poor little koala trusted the fireman that really got to me,so I decided that instead of doing my usual Valentine stuff for my family like going out for dinner and small little gifts, that I would donate to a few of the animal rescue organizations in Australia instead. I have given my "gift" to my family and they loved it. I think we may have just started a new tradition in our family and I only wish we had done this sooner! My heart goes out to the people of Australia and my thoughts are with them.
So, if you're interested in learning more about a few of the wildlife organizations...

http://www.wildlifevictoria.org.au/

or

http://www.rspcavic.org/

Happy Love Day to everyone.

Obsessed? Eehh..maybe for a little bit

2009-02-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

A leader I am not. While I'm definitely not a sheep, I still tend to follow a lot of the time. I'd like to think it's more out of curiosity then anything else. So getting "sucked in" (sorry) to the hype around these books and the movie was bound to happen. I had heard all about it and while at the bookstore last week I decided to buy the first book...just to check it out. I mean, it was only 8 bucks, no big deal if it was horrible.
I really LOVED the first book. Read it in record time and went back for the second one. By now I'm having to suffer the looks, head shakes and comments from Kris and Betina. They cannot believe I'm reading something so "childish" and "stupid". Just because they're in to reading all of the works of Carl Sagan and his thoughts on the universe right now doesn't mean I can't enjoy a little mindless reading from time to time.
I'll say it again....I was hooked!!!! Ok, I admit it, I've read all four books in the series in less than a week. Seriously no sleep for me! I kind of lost interest during the third book and thruth be told, I only bought the fourth and final book to finish up the story. I dunno, started out great, and then it was more than I could take. Just dumb.

It's been my escape this week. Mom is out of the hosptial and has stayed with us since Friday night and I needed a little "bubblegum" for the brain. It certainly served it's purpose in that department, that's for sure. Between taking care of her and all the craziness at work it did the trick. I feel much better :) I should read mindless drivel more often. Or maybe I could just get some sleep and have the same effect.

One step back...

2009-01-28T08:56:00.000-08:00

I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Sometimes we don't understand why right off the bat, and sometimes I guess we never really understand, but nonetheless, that's pretty much how I roll with life. And so it was that my mom fainted last Friday while in her little kitchen making a grilled cheese sandwich. aawww. Apparently she hit the counter on her way down and came to with a bloody nose. She called Jeff who went over there right away and called her doctor who advised her to go to the ER. Bless his heart, he scooped her right up and away they went. By the time I got there they had done an x-ray and CT-scan of her head. Clearly her nose was broken. She looked like she had been in a bar room brawl. Maybe she had and the grilled cheese story was just a cover for her "other life".
While there it was discovered that her potassium level was quite low. Now, here's where the "things happen for a reason" comes in to play. This was Friday...she was scheduled to go to dialysis on Saturday. Her potassium level was so low that if she had gone, there is a HUGE possibility/probability that she would have become either very ill or had serious cardiac issues. So...she's admitted to the hospital for observation and to get her potassium level back to normal. Fine with me, just make her better. Now here's where the "deja vu" crap comes into play. I'm not sure who ordered the Lasix, but she's peeing like it's her job and all the swelling in her ankles and legs disappears! We're so happy. she's feeling like a million bucks, or at the least a buck-fifty and she tells me she hasn't felt this good in months. I'm over the moon with happiness. SO THEN.....the whack-a-doo nephrologist comes in Sunday morning and tells her he doesn't want her dry weight (after dialysis) to go below 60 kilos and then proceeds to tell her that she now weighs 63 kilos. She questions him, how is this possible when I'm peeing enough to replenish Lake Mead and the swelling has gone down completely? He tells her the fluid has shifted to her lungs and around her heart. Look...my mama is no fool. He leaves, she calls me and I ask her a few simple questions.....are you having difficulty breathing? NO. Are you experiencing any chest discomfort? No. So I tell her I'm on my way up there and in the meantime I want her to ring the little buzzer and tell the CHARGE NURSE that she wants to be reweighed. There is a scale built into the bed (aww, technology) and she knows that no one weighed her during the night because she was up peeing like a race horse. (I never understood what that really means) A slight argument ensues and that causes me to have to call her. She's reweighed and only weighs 57 kilos. Big difference between that and the 63 they claimed she weighed. Something like 12 pounds. So now I'm pissed...again...still. I have Scott call the charge nurse again and tell her to get on the horn to the nephrologist to inform him of this new information so he can cancel the dialysis. All the way to the hospital I'm livid and yelling at poor Scott about this stupid doctor. I mean, c'mon you don't have to have a medical degree or even a GED to figure out that the most simple thing he could have done was A. look at your patient. She's not in distress and with that kind of discrepancy in weight she should have been drowning. B. Simply order another weight. Ta-Da....easy, right? Apparently not.
Let's just say there was another Ruth vs. nursing station smack down and I was victorious.
Mom has since gone through two cardiac caths...the first one was unsuccessful and the one yesterday afternoon seemed to be ok. She is in ICU again for the time being and I just want her to be able to come home. I hate this. While I understand that it's no picnic for her, it's just so hard to sit here and know there's nothing I can do to make her feel better or take away the anxiety she must be feeling. More updates as I get them.

Incredible day

2009-01-20T18:51:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful, happy, filled with hope kind of day. While I didn't get to watch the inauguration on tv...damn the blocked computers at work....I was able to read reports and talk to Sara about all the happenings of the day. Sara said it was bitter cold (wind chill of 12) and there were a coupla million people there (no, really, there was) but she said it was awesome. I'm so glad she got to be there...to be a part of history on this fabulous day. What fabulous stories she's going to have for her kids some day! She's going to some inauguaral ball tonight after having one hour of sleep last night and being out in the freezing cold all day. Better her than me, that's all I can say.

And now something totally different

Depression of a ridiculous nature......I am now the depressed/disgusted owner of THREE age spots on my hands. Yep...they're there and I hate them, I don't care how small or light they are. The bastards. As if that isn't depressing enough, I also have noticed a few gray hairs around my temples. Fabulous. Bring it on, old age!!! I've often said that I don't feel like I'm 53 years old. Yeah, I know, I don't act like it either but lately I've been noticing stuff that really ticks me off. Like the way I can't just fly out of the bed in the morning. I resemble the Tin Man before a good dose of grease and I sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies as walk to the bathroom to empty my bladder before it empties itself. Hips locking up, knees cracking, back aching....it's ridiculous.
Then there's the "oh I think I'll get down on my knees to take this photo." Acck...what happened to being able to spring right back up like Tigger??? My spring has obviously sprung. So now I look at those great photo opportunities and just say to myself, "Wow, that WOULD have been a great shot." Of course, who can forget the "aging eyes" as my friend Elizabeth calls them. I can read a street sign a mile away but I can't even read the back of a can of soup without putting on reading glasses. They are a constant on top of my head not to mention that I have about 47 extras all over the house and in my office. You just never know when these Target dollar bin glasses are going to disintegrate so you have to be prepared. Being prepared is NOT to be confused with Preparation H....which can also go along with getting old, but fortunately I haven't had to add that one to my list. Yet.
Yes, I've become more aware of the aging process as of late. Seeing my mother in a hospital bed for weeks really made me think about this almost to the point of obsession. I hate that we have to grow old, I hate that our bodies have to betray us, and I hate all the horrible things that happen and the lonliness that so many of us have to endure during our final days. Ugh. All I can say is I'm going into my older years kicking and screaming...well, maybe not so much kicking cuz I'm afraid of breaking a hip nowadays, but I will certainly be screaming, that's for sure.
I think it's time for my glass of warm milk and then bed....after all, it's 8:00....bedtime for the oldies.

She's going to the inauguration!

2009-01-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

I wonder which seat she'll get? This is just so exciting...or at least it is to us. A month or so ago Sara wrote a letter to Sen. Harry Reid requesting a ticket to the inauguration. She didn't hear anything and we all just thought "oh well" better luck next time. So, a few days ago the Senator pulled 7 names out of a hat from the few thousand who, like Sara, had requested tickets. Sara was on of the ones chosen!!! She actually got two tickets and she's taking a friend. Getting a flight and arranging for a place to stay has been a job and a half, but she's done it...and she leaves in a few days. She was even interviewed by a local tv station about it. Pretty cool, huh? I'm worried about her going of course. Soooo many stinkin' people going to be there and of course there's always that horrible thought of something bad happening. (any self-respecting mother would say the same thing) I just hope she has a wonderful time and comes back with a lot of memories and of course....lots of pictures.

I had a package waiting for me tonight when I got home from work. That's always fun. I ordered this "spy lens" for my camera. It looks pretty cool, but now I'm afaid to use it...afraid I'll have someone smack me upside the head for taking their picture without asking permission. It attaches to your regular lens and has a hole cut out of the side where a mirror reflects the image. So while it appears that you're taking a photo in front of you, you can actually turn the lens 360 degrees and capture something you might not have been able to get normally. I know that sounds totally sick and twisted, but I assure you, it sorta is I guess. Hmm. Better rethink this one.

Work is insane right now. I have 280 patient charts I have to review and organize. Yeah, all within the next 3 weeks. Let's just say I start to curse my predecessor all over again and I swear I can't believe how horrible these charts are. She just basically threw the medical records and anything else that came into the chart and never sifted through any of the millions of papers to see what we really needed and what could be shredded. Sometimes we'll send for medical records from, say, a cardiologist, and they may send only their reports, but sometimes it's just easier for them if the patient has a lot of records (which most of these kids do) to just copy the whole stinking chart to send to us. So...we have 2-3 copies of the exact same report. She never looked at anything and just sort of tossed it in and forgot about it. Thanks. I'll be even more insane than I already am by the time this is over. Count on it.

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday

2009-01-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

Hopefully all the bad, horrible, terrible things left with 2008. So far, (knocking on wood) this year has been uneventful. Of course, we're only 5 days into this new year, but hells bells, I'll take anything I can.

It's ridiculously cold here tonight...we live in the desert, remember? Anything under 55 is cold. The weenie dogs are all parked in front of the fireplace, we're burning fossil fuel like no other, and we are warm and toasty in our humble abode. Life looks pretty good right about now.

Tomorrow is my baby girl's birthday. I wish I could post a baby picture of her but that would mean I would have to haul my butt upstairs to her photo albums, choose a picture, plug the scanner in....well, you get the idea. Sara, I love you, but I just can't motivate myself to get up off my cozy, warmed by the fireplace couch, and do that.

Happy Birthday my incredible daughter!! You are (as always) the warm spot in my heart and I thank you for the most breathtaking 25 years of my life.

Honey Mommy

Not really a year in review, but...

2008-12-29T20:47:00.000-08:00

I know this is old news, but I just got these photos off my camera and thought I would share a little Las Vegas history making snow with you. This is what our street looked like at 6pm. I know these aren't the best quality photos around, but I was didn't use my tripod, didn't want to use a flash and so this is about as good as it gets. I have never seen this much snow since I've lived here. It was amazing!!!!!

Betina took this shot out the window as we were leaving my mom's apartment. We were just freaking out at the sight of so much snow...and also because the road was very slick and we had already watched a guy take out a lamp post.

This is the gate in front of our house. The snow made it look all winter wonder like...and more like Christmas.

this is the view from our front yard. We were more lucky than a lot of our neighbors. The snow was so wet and heavy that tree limbs snapped all around our neighborhood. Most of the desert trees were damaged. We lucked out. No real damage to our plants cuz I shook the snow off as best I could. Our dogs had the time of their little wiener dog lives playing in the snow and then had to be warmed up by the fire afterwards. I think that is my favorite memory of this Christmas.

Back to work today. Let me just tell you how fun it is to go to work and have no heat in the entire building. It was 47 degrees out when I left the house this morning and I think it was a balmy 52 in my office. Yeah. Thankfully I wore my heavy coat to work. I had that sucker zipped up, pulled the hood up over my head and wished I had worn heavier socks and something other than polyester pants. bbbrrrrr! I loaned Laura my gloves cuz the poor thing couldn't write phone messages due to frost bite on her hands. It was insane. I may ta ke our little space heater tomorrow just in case. Or just not go. I'm kidding.

Mom is spending her first night alone in her apartment in a very long time. I'm nervous, but she did so well yesterday and today I think she'll be fine. I think the poor thing is in dire need of some peace and quiet. Our house at Christmas is basically a free for all. People coming and going...phones ringing...noise...3 dogs...friends....baking...eating....pretty much the usual stuff for a family during the holidays.

Scott's dad is in the hospital. I swear, this has been a horrible couple of months. He fell going up the steps to their house last night and whacked his head pretty hard. They want to keep him for observation and to run a few tests to see why his legs are so weak. My sister-in-laws dad is still in the hospital, and I just found out this afternoon that my other sister-in-law (my brother's wife) is having to go visit her sister for the last time. Her sister has cancer and we thought she had a few more months to live, but it looks like it's going to be much sooner.

I don't want to dwell on the sadness...I'd much rather think about wonderful, happy memories that bring a smile to my face. There's far too much misery in the world and while I don't want to hide my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist....I just need a little reprieve. I'm a tad bit frazzled and fragile right now.

So with that... I'm off to devour a couple million little Mexican wedding cookies that I made last night before Sara left to go back home. (sadness) No one can be unhappy with Mexican wedding cookies around.

Happy Day After Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

I'm offering this cute little Christmasy/winter photo instead of one from our Christmas morning cuz everyone has 'bed head' and I don't think they would appreciate having that out there. Just picture lots of people and three dogs sitting around opening presents and wrapping paper flying...there, that was our Christmas.

Things didn't start off so fabulous. On Christmas Eve mom had to go for her scheduled dialysis. I got a phone call from one of the nurses telling me her hemoglobin was extremely low and that she needed a blood transfusion. Oh, ok. I'll just run her down to the nearest blood bank and do that. Getting any information from her that I could actually use was next to impossible. Some 'infusion center' wasn't answering their phone so she told me I needed to take her to the ER. Sure, just show up, tell them, "Hi, my mom's hemoglobin is really low and she needs a blood transfusion." Well, basically that's what I ended up doing. The stupid doctor wouldn't even call the ER and tell them she was coming in. Naturally, they don't do blood transfusions on a regular basis in the ER so she was admitted. When we walked into the ER all I had was a copy of her lab results. Oh, and when I told the nurse at the dialysis center that I was concerned about her having to sit in the waiting room of the ER all day, she actually told me I should tell them mom was having chest pain. WHAAATTTT????? Yeah, I'm going to lie about it....make them waste their time on tests and consultations that aren't necessary...not to mention make it look like mom is experiencing symptoms she's not. Gawd....I am still not believing our medical system. Oh, and P.S. she STILL hasn't seen her kidney specialist. I've called that freaking office 3 times for an appointment and I've been told every time that they don't have her discharge summary from the hospital and I will receive a call as soon as it comes in.

Mom was admitted to the hospital for her blood transfusion and naturally she was very upset that she wasn't going to be home for Christmas Eve. I reminded her that everyone else who was admitted wasn't spending Christmas Eve with their families either. It seemed to help a little bit. Sara's flight was delayed coming in but she got here safe and sound. It was so good to get her home.

Christmas morning we weren't sure how long it was going to be until mom was discharged from the hospital and so we waited around to hear from the doctor after he/she made rounds. Opening presents would have to wait.

It seemed like everyone we talked to was having a not so merry Christmas. One of Sara's roommates was supposed to drive from Reno to Sacramento with one of the dogs to spend Christmas with her family. The weather was so bad, and there was so much snow that she didn't think she was going to be able to go. She was all alone Christmas morning...but eventually she was able to make the trip . Then Sara got word that her other dog who was spending Christmas with the previous owner, killed one of the dogs. Yeah, Merry Christmas, your dog is dead. While no one saw or heard anything, the poor little dog was found dead out in the backyard. Now, it was old so it could have had a stroke or a heart attack, but I find it very unlikely since this is the same dog that attacked Charlie when Sara was here earlier this year. THEN...we found out that my sister-in-laws father had a heart attack and was in the hospital. He's been in failing health for quite some time, but still....

We decided to open presents to distract us from all the craziness. It was so fun to watch the kids open all their presents. I don't care if they are all grown up, I love it. They had a blast, and I think we even surprised them with a few of the gifts they received. Laughs, smiles, and happiness were in order and let me tell you, it felt great. It really did.

The kids and I went up to the hospital to see mom while Scott started making Christmas dinner. By the time we got to the hospital, the doctor had come and gone, saying she could go home. Fabulous. We just had to wait for the nurse to do all the paperwork and she was ours.

Scott made a fabulous dinner...and I do mean fabulous. Everyone agreed it was the best Christmas dinner ever. Beef tenderloin, glazed carrots, roasted potatoes, delicious salad, rolls, and pumpkin pie. Well, he didn't make the pie, but he did everything else and we had such a great time together. I just wish we could all be together more often. It did my heart good to see all my kids together and to have mom home.

Today is dialysis and a doctor's appointment. It's ridiculously cold and windy outside and I don't have any plans to do any After Christmas shopping so I'll be staying indoors as much as possible. I have a ham in the oven right now (gift from someone) so we can munch on that the rest of the day...and I need to hook up my brand new Canon Scanner that Scott gave me. I'm pretty jazzed about that. He also gave me a cooler for my laptop and I absolutely LOVE it.
Time to brush the glaze on the ham. Later.

the eve of Christmas Eve

2008-12-23T03:28:00.000-08:00

it's 3am...I'm awake....I've been awake for over two hours. Between Scott's snoring and getting my mom some ice chips, rearranging her on the couch and giving her another dose of Ambien...yeah, I'm awake.

I pretty much finished my Christmas shopping today. I was amazed at how few people were actually out there shopping. I barely had to wait in any lines and I didn't have any trouble finding what I wanted. Scott took mom to dialysis and Jeff picked her up so that gave me the better part of the day to run my errands. It felt good to be able to get out not worry about time.

Personally, I'll be glad when Christmas is over. I can't believe I'm saying that. I look forward to Christmas every year but this year has been more of a burden than a joy. Our tree is dead...and it really could be getting close to being a fire hazard. Well, maybe it's not that bad but I do know it's coming down the day after Christmas. It's an absolutely beautiful tree and I was hoping to get some nice photos of it all decorated but I think that time has passed.

We never got the house fully decorated on the inside. I just gave up and put it all back in the garage. There are only so many hours in the day and frankly, I'm just to tired to even care.

My baking is off this year. I have been making my sugar cookies for over 20 years and this is the first time EVER that they flopped. Guess I won't be putting those in the gift baskets I have to give to my co-workers later today. My boss is having her annual "mother daughter tea" at 4 today. I had all these wonderful plans to take this beautiful assortment of lovely homemade goodies all packaged and festively decorated. Not happening. Oh, I made a few things that actually turned out, but everything is going to be on a much smaller scale.

I'm slowing down as of today. I'm not worrying about baking another damn cookie, or anything else. I have presents to wrap and the past three weeks that my mom has been home have been brutal 15+ hours a day for me. I'm going to wrap presents while watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and the only other plan I have is to get Sara from the airport on Wednesday and watch her and Betina make gingerbread houses. Pictures will certainly follow.

I'm going to go back in the other room now and see if the Ambien kicked in and hopefully she is sound asleep. I need to try to go back to bed or find a spot on a couch somewhere to curl up.

Overwhelmed

2008-12-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

That's how I'm feeling these days. My life is not my own. Mom isn't sleeping in her bed...said she can't breathe but I have a feeling (as does her home health care nurse) that it's more that she's afraid because it was night time and she was alone when she had the heart attack and no one would come in to help her.
So, I figured she could sleep at my house as well as her apartment in a recliner/rocker and that would free me up to do things at home while she is there. She liked that idea and tonight will be her third night there. While it's nice to have her home and with people who love her...I am exhausted beyond anything I could ever have imagined. She doesn't sleep through the night so I'm up with her 4-5 times a night and I'm sleeping on our couch in the family room so I can be right there if she needs anything. Honestly, I don't know how long I can keep this up.
My kids have helped sooo much...and I know they would stay with her during the night, but I know that teenagers sleep so soundly I would worry that they wouldn't wake up to hear her. So now I am beginning to think that my only option is to hire someone to stay with her during the night so I can work during the day. Having someone while I'm at work is great, but at the same time that leaves me to go to work all day and then take care of her all night. It's just too much.
This was my schedule for yesterday:

Wake up and decide to get up at 5
Take mom to the bathroom
Get ready for work
Get mom's medication
Fix mom breakfast
Take mom to her apartment for her home health care visit (friend sat with her)
Go to work
Leave work early to relieve friend
Wash mom's laundry
Run the vacuum cleaner
Check mom's blood sugar
Fix her some dinner
Meet with physical therapist
Load wheelchair and walker in my car
Take mom over to my house
Take Betina to photo supply store for school supplies
Drop Betina off at home and go to grocery store
Fix mom her evening snack
Make dough for rolls (for pot luck at work)
Give mom her nighttime medications
Settle her in for sleep
Finally got to sit down at about 9:45pm

Up by 4 this morning to take her to the bathroom. That's after she was up 3 times during the night.

This is soo not going to work. I spoke with a few of the ladies I work with who are very knowledgeable in families with long term care issues and they all said I need to get some outside help on a temporary basis...before I crash and burn. So...that's one more thing to add to my "to do" list.

It's just so hard. So hard to try and act like I'm all fine and that this isn't such a big deal when in reality I'm having such a tough time keeping it together. If I had not had all this going on now for over a month, been able to get some quality sleep, maybe I would be handling this a little better.
It isn't that I don't want to help her, because I do. I feel so bad for her. It must be terrible to know that your very existence depends on someone else. This is not her fault...this is nothing she did. So, like thousands of other families around the world I'm learning, and I'm doing what I can and I'm making adjustments.
What else can I do?

She's Home!!!!!

2008-12-04T04:34:00.000-08:00

Mom got to come home on her birthday. How cool is that? As we were driving home she said, " I didn't think I'd see this day." awww...bless her little heart.

Now the hard work begins. I have to take her to dialysis tonight at 7:15 and she has the first of 7 doctor appointments Friday at 3. How am I going to do all this and work? Guess that's why I woke up at 1 and then at 2 and by 4:08 I decided to just get up. Too many things on my mind. The entire time she was in the hospital this one "best friend" of hers kept telling me that she would be more than happy to sit with mom during the day and watch over her while I was at work. I must have heard this a hundred times. So... it's 8pm, just got mom settled back in her apartment and I've taken the million prescriptions to WalMart to fill and to get groceries for her. The friend had forgotten to pay her rent and mom's so could I run those checks up to the office for her. Sure...why not. I get back from Wal-Mart and as I'm making mom something to eat and getting her pills ready the friend asked me when someone is going to be over Thursday. Then she asked Kris what time he was coming over. See, the doctor only discharged mom from the hospital with the understanding that she cannot be left alone for awhile. She's too weak and she needs help just getting up from her chair or bed. So, I am going to go in to work at O'dark -thirty today and leave by 2. What else can I do? I know that if I tell Dr. Morris what's going on she will be supportive and tell me to do what I need to do, but it's my boss boss that I'm worried about. Even though the school owes me LOTS of time off in compensation time for the trip I took in August and the one in October, I have so much work to do now to get ready for the trip on January 2. BUT...there are some issues with the department not knowing when they can reimburse me for travel, meaning that I have to foot the bill for everything and who knows when I'll get THAT money back. So, I need to talk to my doc and tell her that if they can't pay for me to go...then I guess I'll be staying here. It took me over a month to get my last reimbursement and I was assured that from now on, it will be longer. Yeah, I want the school to owe me over a thousand dollars for months on end. Phhttt.
So, I'm going to see if it's at all possible to work a little from home. Take care of mom in the mornings and then go in at lunch time and work till 6 or something. I just don't know. Too much to think about right now and I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment.
I guess my biggest fear is that she won't improve all that much and will not really be able to live alone ever again. Then what do I do? I'm honestly trying so hard not to go there...to think about that, but it's a very real possibility.
It's 5 now...guess I'll go jump in the shower and get ready for a super long day. Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

One Step Forward

2008-11-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

It's 10:15 and I am just now getting home and sitting down to a soupy bowl of Minute Rice and butter. I know...eeeww...but I love it.

I truly feel that today was a good day. I went up to the hospital right after work and took some dinner to mom and she actually ate more than 3 bites!!! I was thrilled.

The first thing she said to me was, "Ruth Ann, what did you do? There were all sorts of people in here today to talk to me and take care of me."

Yeah, well, that's a good thing.

I called mom's insurance company and spoke with someone in risk management. Thought they would like to know where their money was going and how crappy their physicians are. Imagine my surprise when her new primary care doc calls me. He tried to tell me how busy the doctors are (poor rich bastards) and I said, "Look buddy, I've been married to a doctor for over 27 years. I'm not impressed. If you're too busy to adequately take care of your patients then maybe you'd best rethink limiting your practice." His phone rang while we were talking and he said to me, "See, I've missed 3 phone calls while I've talked to you. There may have been an emergency." uumm...WHERE do these people come from????????
Me: "Do you think I care? Maybe if you doctors had taken care of her in the first place you wouldn't have to be talking to me right now." He kept saying he wanted me to understand how mom has 6 doctors and it's impossible to expect them all to make rounds at the same time. Yeah, that's exactly what I expect lame ass.

Then I got the Chief of Staff on the phone and she was amazingly friendly and understanding. We had a lengthy conversation and she promised me she was leaving her medical office and going straight to the hospital to get to the bottom of everything. She will call me tomorrow.

The lawyer I contacted returned my call and listened to my whole nightmarish story and in the end he said he thinks we have a case against the rehab hospital. Oh, forgot to mention that when we got the medical records from the rehab hospital they said I took mom out AMA (against medical advice) WHAAAATTTT???? I didn't sign any papers...THEY called the freakin' ambulance....so the lawyer who is also a surgeon told me, "That's falsifying a medical record." So we'll see how all this plays out.

The risk management nurse from the hospital called me again too. She went in and checked on mom twice.

I'm too tired to write anymore tonight. I think it's possible I may actually be able to get some sleep tonight. More later, and hopefully it'll all be good.

What country is this?

2008-11-23T18:57:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for a blog entry that is politically correct...better walk away cuz this is not it tonight. I have reached my limit with the lack of proper and adequate health care in this country. I'm convinced that it's not just here in Las Vegas, but throughout the entire United States. Appalling, horrendous, inexcusable health care. Ha, that's a joke, "care".

This is how things have gone since my mother became sick with a cold the first week in November.

1. She calls her doctor to make an appointment because she's coughing and had a cold.
2. She's told her doctor left town without warning (how nice) and some ya-hoo who has never seen my mother calls in a prescription for cough medicine and broad spectrum antibiotics. Well now, that suprises me that they didn't want her to come in to pay her co-pay for 3 minutes of their time...not to mention that it really isn't good medicine to treat something when you don't know what the hell it is that your treating. But, she's old...what do they care.
3. We go to the hospital ER a few days later. She's sick at her stomach and complaining of some chest pain. Personally, I think the cough medicine with Codeine made her sick, that coupled with the antibiotic.
4. Getting a nurse to help out in the ER was fun...I ended up hanging a new IV bag because the other one was empty and I was sick of hearing the alarm go off. Dumb-ass nurse comes in, sees that a new bag had been hung, I say, "I hung it." Never once does he ask me if I have any medical knowledge or does he look to make sure I didn't screw around with the flow. He just said, "Cool. Thanks."
5. She was admitted to the hospital for observation and was repeatedly given the wrong food tray at every meal. She's a diabetic...nuff said.
6. She was transferred to a rehab hospital for a stay of 24-48 hours so they could monitor exactly what she ate, and that her medication was taken properly. She got there at 8pm. 12 hours later my mother had suffered a heart attack, and had been vomitting violently all night and no one came in the room. No doctor was called...no intervention.
7. I found my mother gravely ill in this rehab hospital and had them call 911 to transport her to the hospital.
8. My mother spent the next 13 days in a cardiac intensive care unit. During this time, I had to fight on a daily basis to get the doctors to communicate with the family. They just didn't think it was necessary I suppose. Their idea of seeing my mother consisted of pretty much walking in the room, saying "Hi" and leaving. I truly believe the only reason a few of them even took the time to listen to her heart and lungs was because I was there. How much did they charge her insurance for the less than 2 minutes that they spent in with her?
9. She was there for almost 4 days before I was told by the doctor that she had indeed had a heart attack. Wow...thanks for the update.
10. Still fighting with getting information from the doctors...none of which I can understand. Their accents are so thick it's almost impossible to figure out what the hell they're saying. After 5 days I have to say, "Don't you think we need to give her some IV nutrition? I mean, she hasn't eaten in over a week." Damn, why didn't *I* go to medical school? IV nutrition was started immediately. Geez Louise.
11. She's transferred to an intermediate intensive care unit Friday night.
12. I'm there for almost 5 straight hours yesterday and her nurse didn't come in the room once. I had to go find a nursing assistant to help me locate a bedpan.
13. Yesterday her blood pressure was extremely low...and her heart rate was going from 44 up to 76. Think you might want to lower the dose of blood pressure medication that you're giving her???????? Or do you just want her to completely bottom out?
14. The lab came in during the night and tried to draw blood from her left arm. Umm...she has blood clots in that arm...the sign on her bed says so...unless of course you don't speak or read English which is a huge possibility. I took a Sharpie pen and wrote on her arm, "NO bp (blood pressure) 0r labs on this arm."
15. She has a central line, why would they need to stick her anyway?
16. She finishes lunch today and I'm thinking....hmmm, no one came in to check her blood sugar. So off I go to the nurses station which is directly outside her room. I go straight for the charge nurse, screw looking for her nurse who acts like she does't understand English every time I talked to her today anyway. "Hey...when was the last time anyone checked my mother's blood sugar?" Simple enough question. "Her nurse is with a patient down in x-ray right now." "Yeah, well, her chart is right there, how 'bout YOU taking a look in there for me, ok?" The folded arms and "don't F with me look on my face must have caused her extraordinary nursing skills to kick in because she did just that. Well....what do you know.....they haven't tested her blood sugar since she arrived on the floor.....almost 48 hours.

I had that charge nurse off her ass and in mom's room with the blood testing kit in about .06 seconds. Oh look...it's 410. Normal is up to about 110 or so. Yeah, she's a tad bit high. It's about this time that I think the charge nurse was thinking she was about to poop her pants. I'm telling her to get some insulin and while she's at it, I want to talk to a case manager. This really nice case manager came pronto, and I laid it all out. She's got the charge nurse calling the doctor because there's no order from him for her blood sugar to be tested. He's on the phone, I'm handed the receiver and get this...this is his story. "I'm only on call on the week ends..." that's as far as I let him get. "Look...I don't give a shit if you're on one day, four days or four hours....this is YOUR patient, YOUR responsibility." Well, he agreed, took responsibility, like that changes anything, ordered the insulin and had to listen to me rant and rave for another 3 minutes. SO did everyone else at the nursing station. I also yelled at them...."What's wrong with you people, this is an intensive care unit....get it...INTENSIVE .....CARE. So you know a paitent is insulin dependent and you don't question that a doctor doesn't have orders written?" One of them said, "Well, how long has she been a diabetic?" Ohhh you did NOT just say that to me. "What the hell does that have to do with anything you moron!" "From now on, if she rings that call button, there had better be someone's ass in that room pronto...understood?"

This is like third world medical care. You don't expect this in America. Is it because she's old? That's what I said to the doctor. She may be old and used up to you, but she's my mother. There are people who love her and want her to come home. You're killing her.
This is no way to treat a human being..and what about the poor people who don't have a family member to be there to fight for them? It's inexcusable. What if I hadn't had any medial knowledge at all? My mother is too weak right now to even begin to look out for her own well being. That's what they're supposed to be doing. I can't be there 24 hours a day to make sure they're doing their jobs.

I'm calling the administrator in the morning and they better mark off a huge amount of time for me because they're going to get an earful...and then there will be a letter written as well.

No one should have to go through this. As I told the doctor...it's stressful enough for family members to have a loved one in the hospital. Couple that with little to no communication with the doctors and the lack of nursing care....it's despicable. I'm ashamed of my chosen profession.

Rant over....for now.

Baby Steps

2008-11-17T17:02:00.000-08:00

That is exactly how I feel tonight...celebrating the little things my mother accomplished today. This is day 9 in the ICU for her and I honestly have had the thought many times that she probably wouldn't pull through. The nursing care has been the absolute BEST and there have been a few problems with the doctors, like not thinking it's important to talk to family members EVER...but I got that taken care of yesterday :) so it's all good. Today we were able to get to get her to sit in a chair for about an hour and she was able to feed herself a little and to stay awake for quite a long time, and I couldn't be happier! I know she has a long way to go but this was a good day and I'm not going to think about anything but that.
I want to thank all of you who have left comments on my blog, emailed me or called with your friendship and concern for my family. It truly has meant so much to me.
I'm exhausted. I'm not going to go back up to the hospital tonight (maybe) and I am hoping to get a good long sleep tonight. (maybe)

She did have a heart attack, and she is in complete kidney failure and needs to have dialysis, but she's strong and she's coming around. There is still a possibility that her kidney function can return, but if it doesn't we'll deal with that. Now...I just gotta get her home before Thanksgiving so she can make the gravy. Oh, and the hot homemade rolls. hehe.

Rough Times

2008-11-09T17:16:00.000-08:00

Things have not been going well around here for the past few days. My mother is in the ICU at the moment. While we're not really sure what happened...she now has an overwhelming infection somewhere and is quite sick. I can only go in to see her for a half an hour at a time and not around the clock. I was lucky this morning and the nurse let me sit in her room for about 5 hours. I left to meet Jeff downstairs and when we came up the "visiting hour police" was doing her job. I understand. It's just hard to go off and leave her. The doctor told me this morning that she is doing a little better. They had to put her on dialysis last night because her kidneys were not working. It's been a nightmare for my poor little mother. So, this picture is for her. It's from our trip and a place she loved. I want her to think about all the beautiful things we saw and get well. I love you, mom.

Election Day

2008-11-04T10:56:00.000-08:00

Just more pictures from my trip to the lovely New England states a few weeks ago. I love fall so much. Can't tell, can you?

Today is election day and I am so excited. I truly have not been this excited about a presidential election in...well, probably never. I have such high hopes for what can be. I just hope it all turns out as I hope.

I had to stop at Wal-Mart last night to pick up some medication for my mother. She has a bad cold and cough. She called her doctor's office and I was really surprised that they didn't want to see her, yet they called in a prescription for cough medicine and some antibiotics. I'm not sure I agree with handing out antibiotics like Halloween candy without knowing for sure you are dealing with a bacterial infection, but hey, what do I know? So, I go up to the counter and the cough medication is $40 for a 2 ounce bottle. Huh-uh...it is NOT!! I talked at length with the pharmacist and while I understand she doesn't sit there all alone at night and just decide to jack up the prices of crap willy nilly, I still felt I needed to voice my opinion. I mean, if I hadn't paid for it mom would have never picked it up because she couldn't afford it. Criminy, I should have just tried to buy the crap on the street...I'm sure it would have been much cheaper.

Scott's childhoold friend, his best friend for as long as he can remember, died unexpectedly last week. It was definitely a shock, and my heart breaks for his family, and for my poor husband. Every memory he has from his childhood includes Matt.

I'm rambling...as usual so I guess I should go do something productive. Or not. This post has certainly not gone in the direction I had intended but I can always edit it later. Thank you to everyone who has sent me emails about the photos. I appreciate your comments.

Nuthin' like autumn in New England

2008-10-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

I just love this lighthouse. I mean, you can't possibly take a bad picture of this lighthouse if you tried. My mother was so excited to see it..even if it was about 37 degrees outside and the wind was threatening to blow her into the sea if given half a chance. I learned a lot of things on this trip about traveling with a senior citizen.
They go to sleep as soon as you get your suitcases into the hotel/motel room. Seriously...she was out like a light by 8pm every single night. I'm not much of a tv watching person anymore but this past week was definitely the exception. Of course I had the volume turned down so low that I didn't hear a word any of them said, but I'm sure I didn't miss all that much.
The first night after we checked into our room, mom was already asleep when I went into the bathroom to get into my warm jammies and brush my teeth. The exact moment I put the toothbrush into my mouth I saw it...a plastic cup sitting no more than 6 inches from me...with a set of choppers floating around like odd little fish. I almost screamed and gagged myself with the toothbrush at the same time. By about day 4 I was used to them. Kind of. (ick)
It was funny how as soon as people found out I lived in Vegas, they were all excited and talking about friends or family members who have thought about moving to Vegas to escape the brutal winters. I would love to escape the ever so horrible summers to live in New England. Besides, it's so beautiful there and so....not so beautiful here.
It would be weird to live in a place where I would have to check not only my dogs, but myself for ticks...and we don't have fleas here in Vegas so that is a plus. Also, I'm not a fan of hot muggy days and mosquitoes the size of office staplers. Guess there's always a give and take situation where ever you live, right? The ying and yang of it all.
Cookies are ready to come out of the oven..back later.

1453

2008-10-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah, 1,453. That's the number of miles I drove in the past 6 days. It could also quite possibly be the number of photos I took or the airline peanuts that I ate...or the number of times I said, "how beautiful is this?"
I just got back from a fabulous trip to New England and I'm pretty tired. I will add more photos tomorrow when I have a chance to get to the computer without 3 weenie dogs all over me.

Time for a trip

2008-10-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

Even if it's a work related trip. I leave tomorrow for yet another clinic in another state. It sucks to be me sometimes. :) Actually, most of the time I feel I have a charmed life. Here's a little story. I'll wait while you go grab a cup of tea, a Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, or even a beer if want. Just bring back some Fritos for me, ok?

So...my mother is a two-time breast cancer survivor. She had a mastectomy almost 2 years ago and for the past 9 months or so has complained about her arm hurting. This is a common complaint among mastectomy patients. Anyway, I won't go into the long drawn out story as to how completely HORRIBLE her surgeon and his office treated my mother...basically saying they had never heard of lymphedema. Whaaaattt? I may not have done any nursing on a med/surg floor in a million years, but sweetheart, please...we saw it all the time. Moving onward...she finally complained so much to them (at my urging) that they ordered a CT Scan of her arm. Afterwards, she is just told "We won't need to see you anymore...we're referring you to the Cancer Institute." Oh...ok. Mind telling me what the findings were before you so kindly kick me out the door? So, we get a copy of the report...doesn't look too promising and I begin to worry. I try not to show it to anyone but it really does appear that my mother may have metastatic lung cancer. We have a pot luck lunch at work and I mention it to a very knowledgable hemotologist and he very bluntly said "Any time you see nodules in the lungs of a patient after breast cancer, it's metastic lung cancer." I'm devastated. How am I going to tell my kids? How am I going to help my mother deal with this? The horrible thoughts that ran through my brain were making me physically sick. I pictured her dying this horrible death and those pictures ran through my head constantly.
Monday was her appointment at the Cancer Institute. I had to go to work in the morning to finish up a few things before this clinic trip. Frankly, I didn't want to go to the doctor with her. I just wanted to run away and not answer my phone or talk to anyone. But I knew she would need me. I knew she was alone and would need my love and support. Hell, I needed some love and support. She got a ride and I met her there. Small talk ensued. All I really wanted to do was scream and run. At the same time I might add. So now they've called her name. My stomach is in about 57 knots. It's at this point that I'm glad I didn't have anything to eat all day. The doctor and nurse practitioner come into the room. Attractive young women who have kind words and nice smiles for us. Moving along with this story, and I'll omit the part where I go off on the medical community for it's lack of caring and compassion. Not this doctor, but mom's surgeon. It turns out she doesn't think it's anything to worry about. It could be scar tissue from her previous radiation therapy, scarring from an old infection, or something else. She's going to run a few more tests when we get back from our trip to New England, but she was a little dumbfounded as to why they wouldn't give us the results of the scan. So...basically....for the past TWO weeks I have been operating under the assumption that my mother had lung cancer. I cannot tell you how relieved I am that she's not. That would be an understatement. I cried tears of relief and poor mom looked at me and thought I was insane. (she probably thinks that a lot anyway) and when I told all of them what I had been going through they almost cried with me. Mom was oblivious to the whole lung cancer thing. She just thought that since she had cancer before it was only natural for them to send her to the cancer institute. Ignorance is bliss....and a little medical knowledge is dangerous.

So...happy times here. I cannot express my gratitude. And not to sound overly dramatic, but I really did think that this trip to New England was going to be "it" if you know what I mean. Sure, we don't know when or how we're going to leave this world, but I'll tell you one thing....I am making damn sure this trip to Maine, Vermont, Massachuetts,Rhode Island and anyplace else she wants to go is going to be her trip of a lifetime. All she wants to do is see lighthouses and fall leaves. She just wants to drive and see vegetable stands on the side of the road...farmhouses and rolling hills. Splashes of colored leaves along the roads and the rocky shores of the Atlantic. I think I can do that.
Can't wait to get back from this work trip so we can go. And yeah, she repacked her bag..again. She's been ready to go for a month now. Bless the heart.

It's Fall....FINALLY

2008-10-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Well, not so much "this" part of the country, but at least it's under 100 degrees during the day now which is a HUGE plus in my book. It's actually pleasant at night which is also good.
I went to the Bellagio yesterday after I dropped Scott off at the airport. (he had to go to a wedding and I wasn't up for it) So, here are my 'early autumn' offerings. I get to see autumn
in all it's glory (I hope) soon when we go to New England. Can't wait to take those pictures.
Isn't he the coolest thing in the forest? I wanted to jump the little guard fence so I could touch him. I wonder if he's rubbery? Oh the stupid things that jump into my mind. Like it really matters.
I rather liked this picture. Just wish I knew where I could buy white pumpkins with the orange in the creases. How cool are those?

And a beautiful tiger lily I saw that just begged to have it's picture taken. I'm really off my game today. I spent all day yesterday running errands and driving all over creation, and today was supposed to be my sit around in my jammies and do a bunch of nothing. Well, if you call two loads of laundry, gutting the refrigerator and cleaning it out, cleaning out the pantry yet AGAIN, and putting up Halloween decorations a bunch of nothing...well then, I don't know what to tell you. Whose idea was it to work 5 days and have 2 off? What kind of idiot was that? I think there should be a happy medium there somewhere like work 3 days one week and 4 the next. Something more evenly distributed I say.
I guess I should finish getting the dusty Halloween stuff out of the garage and figure out where I'm going to put it so I can get the cars back in the garage. Kris help for about 3.2 seconds and then went back upstairs. Betina lost interest about 10 minutes later. I'm all alone in my quest for the festively decorated house. Why do I even bother!!! :)

Fine. I'm going to go crank down the a/c....slip on some big o' socks....sip on mulled apple cider...maybe make some pumpkin cookies and just pretend it's really autumn here in the stinkin' desert. There, that'll show 'em.

Beautiful Things Part I

2008-09-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

Paul Newman. I've had a crush on him as long as I can remember. My dad and I loved to watch Cool Hand Luke together every time it was on tv. Those gorgeous blue eyes, and that smirk. I remember one of the first pieces of mail that I received when I went away to college was a postcard of Paul Newman. Of course it was really signed by my dad, but I had a good laugh and my dorm mates thought it was cool. I'm so sad to find out that he's gone. He was one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen.
This is the birthday present Kris made for me. Isn't is fabulous? I can't believe he took the time to draw all this on white paper. Wow. I absolutely love it.
This is my Sara. She was home this weekend and even though we didn't get to spend a lot of time together, I got the chance to take this picture of her and do a little credit card damage while shopping. She's beautiful and I wish she had been able to stay home a little longer.
These are a couple of shots I took the other morning on my way to a meeting at the butt crack of dawn. I was actually putting gas in my car when I noticed what a beautiful sunrise it was and hurriedly drove up to the top of a mesa to get these shots. Gorgeous, huh?
It's been a long weekend. I'm tired and I'm about to shuffle off to bed. We just finished watching the season premier of Dexter...and for some reason I just wasn't in to it like I was last season. There are very few things on tv that I watch anymore....I just get bored. Maybe tonight was just a case of being overly tired. So as I sit here with my eyes at half mast...I think I'll call it a night. Beautiful Things Part II coming soon.

Retrospect

2008-09-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of definitions for the word, "retrospect"

1. contemplation of the past; a survey of past time, events, etc.

2. to look back in thought; refer back (often fol. by to): to retrospect to a period in one's youth.

I spent too many hours doing that very thing just the other night. I'm not sure how it all started, but I think it may have been while I was on the computer looking up places to see in Maine. Anyway, from there I ended up using the good vs. evil Google Earth and typed in my grandmother's street address. My grandmother was the cornerstone of my very existence. She was the only completely stable person in my life. I always knew she would be there, I knew she wasn't going to move away to a new place, and I knew there would always be familiar things for me surrounding her. I loved her so much and when she died in the late 1960's, a part of me died as well. Her home was the typical two story home for the time, in an quiet little neighborhood in a small town in Oklahoma. In my eyes as a child, it was a mansion. My "Nanny" grew beautiful flowers and fretted over her garden constantly. There were blankets of purple and yellow crocus in the early spring, moss roses in a black pot by the back gate, roses of every color and variety scattered around the backyard, irises and a peach tree along the driveway, and her favorites, tiger lilys and zinneas in the front yard along the fence that separated her house from the neighbors.
I loved that house. Well, my brother and I were convinced it was haunted and frankly I still believe that, but I loved it just the same. The huge porch with the glider where we would sit and swing for hours on hot summer nights after supper with our jars full of lightning bugs. Where my Nanny would sit and plan out her Sunday school lesson while I would nap.
It was everything a grandmother's house should be and I can close my eyes and tell you every piece of furniture in every room, right down to the pictures on the wall,even though the last time I was in her house was well over 30 years ago.
So, as I was saying, I typed in her address and the new and improved Google Earth soon pointed the way to her house. Why, I was even able to do a "street view" and actually walk down the street and stand directly in front of her house. As my computer generated self started walking, I got excited about seeing her home and as I counted the houses and knew that hers was next, I became a little scared. The other homes didn't look so great. And then, there I was. It didn't look anything like my Nanny's home so I continued to walk With just one more house on the block, I knew I had to back up, that I had passed it. I went back, and just sat at my computer staring at this horrible sight. The garden along the fence is gone, the peach tree and flowers too. The magnolia that my dad planted in the front yard isn't there...and the two tall evergreens were missing as well. There were old lawn chairs in the front yard, a truck in the driveway and the house just looked old and used up. I began to cry. How can this be? This home was so full of life and so beautiful...who let this happen? I looked around at the other homes, the neighbors I had known all my life. The Davis home was in shambles. The cute little front porch where Mrs. Davis used to give me ice cream that had been in her freezer way too long was falling down. Oh but Mrs. Newton's house still looked very regal and freshly painted. Mrs. Newton was a lavender haired little lady who gave piano lessons in her studio which was really a converted garage. I used to sit on the steps of Nanny's house and listen to her students play and wish with all my heart that I could take piano lessons. I never did.
Now I'm left with these disturbing images. No longer does my mind conjure up images of this beautiful flower filled yard and immaculate lawn. I'm trying desperately to bring those images back but it's all too fresh, too painful right now. I wish I had never looked. I wish I could take it back. Now I'm trying to remember who it was who said, "You can never go home again." Guess I'll have to Google that.

3 days post birthday

2008-09-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

Awww, look at those eyes. How can I resist them? It's impossible, even when she barks for something like 5 minutes straight every night when I get home. "Ok, I know...I love you too. Please stop barking. Daisy, really, this is getting annoying as hell. DAISY, STOP IT! For the Love of God, stop barking!!!!" But, she's got that adorable little face. My kids think she looks totally depressed and suicidal, but I would rather think she's "pensive". Who am I kidding? This dog is a whack-nut. She barks at her own family and God forbid she hears a doorbell on tv. That really spins her out. But I love her just the same. I dunno what this little vermin is, some sort of groundhog, prairie dog, chipmunk with a glandular problem, rat on steroids, squirrel gone mad....but it's a cute little thing. I especially like that Scott fed it a jalapeno potato chip. Nice goin' there, doc. Poor little thing probably pooped fire for a week. Not to mention that his cholesterol level is a a dangerously high level now and he's been known to hang out at the local 7-11 begging for 'spare chips'.

These pictures have absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that it's 3 days past my birthday. I did indeed get a new stove. Not the one I truly wanted mind you, but we all knew that was a pipe dream now didn't we? The one I wanted was a double oven little cutie. The uppermost oven was small,like for baking cookies, casseroles, frozen pizzas. That really made my heart go pitty-pat. I mean, think of the energy you would save by not having to heat up a ginormous oven for a pizza? Naturally, the lower oven was a bit smaller because of this, but I think I still could have shoved a good sized Thanksgiving turkey in that sucker no problem. Yeah, well, Scott saw the price tag and *poof* that was the end of that. So, I have your basic stove. Nothing fancy but it works and I'm happy about that.

We went out for dinner for my birthday. The only person missing was Sara and that made me sad. Scott had gotten me a birthday cake from the grocery store and I thought that was so sweet of him. Everybody needs a cake for their birthday, dagnabbit! He also got me this doo-dad from Sony that lets you burn photos or video onto DVD without having to go through a PC. Cool. We have a million VHS tapes of the kids from when they were little and he wants to put them on DVD. Knock yourself out, honey.

So, another birthday has come and gone. They fly by at the speed of light and man, let me tell you, it's starting to get scary. I guess we can talk about scary when I'm celebrating my 90th.
Until then, life is good....and don't sweat the small stuff.

It's happened again

2008-09-12T20:46:00.000-07:00

Someone has tried to use our credit card and thankfully, they failed. This happened to us once before, some months ago. We got a call from our credit card company asking if we had tried to take out a cash advance for $500.00. Umm, no. We don't even know the pin number to get a cash advance. Obviously they didn't either. Nipped that one in the bud. Our card was canceled and they had to issue us another one. That was annoying. So tonight I'm sitting here wondering what I'm going to have for my dinner since my loving husband ate and didn't even ask me what I wanted. But I digress. The phone rang and it was our credit card company again and she asked me if I tried to charge $150 to a bike shop somewhere in the UK. Yeah, it's a surprise for Scott's birthday. SURPRISE!!! you have to go over and pick it up. Hey, that's one way of getting to go back to Europe. Once again our credit card company declined the charges and of course, canceled our card. Fabulous. I was hoping that Scott was going to go out this weekend and buy me a new stove for my birthday. Yes, that's right, I want a stove for my birthday. Either that or a Canon 40D camera body. But since I haven't read anything about hell freezing over or the prospect of that happening anytime soon, I pretty much have to settle for the stove. I'm not sure what's wrong with it but it's so annoying. The oven doesn't come on most of the time unless you turn the burners on full blast. And then you have to keep them on because once the oven temp goes down and it should come back on, it just won't. It's probably something fairly easy to fix, but the way our luck goes with repairmen (remember the dryer dude, BO man?) I say just buy a new one. Besides, my kitchen appliances are white now and this one is off white. Tacky, tacky, tacky. I didn't mind not having an oven during the really hot summer months but now that it's starting to cool off at night I really want to bake. Like right now....I'm looking at a recipe for vanilla bean bundt cake. mmmm!! But noooo I can't make it. (like I really need a bundt cake) They should just call them "butt" cake cuz that's right where it ends up.
Well I'm actually taking a scrapbook class tomorrow. I know, I can't believe it myself! It's a really cute Halloween countdown clipboard thingy and I'm pretty jazzed about being all crafty and stuff. With the holidays coming up at the speed of light, I really want to spend this year, the first time in over 5 years that I haven't been working all sorts of weird hours with no days off. I'm planning on taking the week of Christmas off just to be home to bake while listening to Christmas music, watch every Christmas movie ever made, make the wiener dogs wear stupid Santa hats, and just have like the ultimate O Holy Night.
Ever notice how I just sorta jump from one subject to another? I started out talking about credit card fraud, went to new stoves, and then to scrapbooks and Christmas overload. Maybe I have ADD...or ADHD...or WEIRD.

It's time to take my little walk now. Yeah, me, walking. I know, it's just so unheard of. But the other night I was really stressed about something at work and I decided to walk it off and now that it's not a thousand degrees outside I quite enjoyed it. I walked to my kids old elementary school and it brought back such memories. I spent a lot of years at that school. It made me a little sad to think that I probably don't know any of the teachers there anymore. I was a fixture at that school and I should have been picking up a paycheck for crying out loud.

Just in case you were wondering, I had macaroni with tomato sauce for dinner. No, not spaghetti sauce, just plain ol' tomato sauce mixed into macaroni. Mmmm. My dad loved that, and I inherited it from him. To my knowledge Sara is the only one of my kids who likes to eat that too. It's comfort food. Just mix it all together, add a little salt and some pepper and you're good to go. I'm just so easy to please but so much for my Weight Watcher's. Gotta be about 4985 points but it was worth it.

So I'll just end this with a little message to the idiot or idiots who are trying to use our credit card. CUT.....IT.....OUT!!!!! Go get a job and get your own credit card. A bike shop....pphhhtt. How lame is that?

It's Friday!!!!!!

2008-08-29T13:35:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't my new dog not that I have a new dog...or the dog of anyone I know. I think I just found the picture on the internet somewhere and liked it so I saved it to my computer here at work. Yes, I am blogging from work! Wanna make something of it? Go ahead, make my day. Sometimes I'm so "tough" I can't stand my own self.

Well, it's the Friday before a long holiday weekend. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. Plus, just think, that means we only have 4 days to work next week. Unbelievable!! It's like TWO holidays for the price of one. Gotta love that.

Summer is dragging on and on and on around here. Today is supposed to be 109 or a tad bit higher. As long as I can go from my very lovely air-conditioned office to my air-conditioned car to my air-conditioned home it's all good. But, I am sick of it. It's more than getting old. C'mon, I want to think about fall, and fall things, and cool weather and sweaters, and blankets on the bed and sipping hot apple cider. How Martha Stewart is that?

Just mostly rambling today. My mother said something last week that still makes me grin when I think about it. Just a little background history here. My mother is almost 79 years old. She's less than 5 feet tall and definitely has an opinion on everything. My kids and I get a kick out of the fact that she mispronounces things all the time. Like Sara's car for example. She drives a Hyundai. My mother pronounces it "Hi-un-die" Motel and hotel are pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable. MOtel....HOtel. Cracks us up everytime. Root beer is something like "Rut Beer" So..on with this boring story. We're talking about Ellen DeGeneres getting married and she said, "Well, I'm glad she ended up with that 'Port-e-ah' rather than that Ann HECK." ohhh mom, you are so amusing. Like I'm going to correct her.

3 more hours and then I get to go home. Yeah, it's been that kind of week. I was told on Monday that I had until Friday to finish up something called a "effort report". I've run into about 47 snags and it's not finished yet. I've emailed people, talked to more people on the phone, and am now waiting for the administrator to call or come by. Just so you know and don't rat me out, I'm on my lunch right now. ppphhtt. I now refer to this report not as it's truly called, the "effort report", I call em like I see em. It's the "effin' report" as far as I'm concerned. and yes, I think my mother would be able to pronounce that one without any problems. Love my job, but am really sick of the last minute crises that seem to arise without warning and it's always something I have no clue about because I've never seen it or heard of it due to the fact that I'm new and there wasn't anyone here to train me for my job. Makes things a little stressful to say the least. Right after I got back from our latest work related trip I was called in and told that I had until 3pm that very afternoon to get the credit card statement from the previous person reconciled or every credit card in the entire department was going to be canceled. Whew...talk about some stress!!! My first thought was, "Hey, you know where she's working now, call her up and make HER do it." but, that's not how things work so of course I had to go in and figure it out. Good times, good times. So, in some small way, I saved the department. YEA!

Ok, lunch time is over and I purposely ate here at my desk waiting for a phone call or a person to show up to help me. Guess I'm left with actually getting up and going over to the other side of the building and see if I can find some help in the form of an administrator. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Oh, plum forgot to talk about Obama and his speech last night. As I watched his speech with my youngest son I had tears in my eyes. I grew up in the south and I know about prejudice and how totally sick and unfounded it is. So as I sat there I told my son, "We're sitting here witnessing history. I can't believe how long it's taken this country to come around and realize that a man is a man, no matter what color his skin or his nationality." I was so very touched that a black man was standing up in front of our nation accepting the nomination for president of the United States. It's about frickin' time!!!!

So, I gotta go.

#27

2008-08-12T05:26:00.000-07:00

We had our 27th wedding anniversary last Friday. How is that possible? I can vividly remember all the planning, saving, and crying over all the wedding details. I worked two jobs to pay for all the things I wanted since I knew my parents didn't have the money to give me. No biggie, I was young and in love so working 6 days a week from 4am to 5pm wasn't TOO bad. Who am I kidding....it SUCKED!!!! Naahh, it was fun looking at Bride magazine and fretting over the music I would walk down the aisle to. Little did I know a bridesmaid would call me a week before and say she couldn't afford to come. Oh, ok. You've only known about this wedding for A FREAKING YEAR!!! I even offered to pay half of her way and she said,"noooo, don't be silly. You're paying for my dress, so I'll pay the airfare." Yeah, thanks ol' buddy. THEN, my maid of honor flaked on me 2 days before the wedding. Uh-huh, she did. I was told by a reliable source (her gay roommate who secretly hated her) that she had gained too much weight to fit into the dress. Of course the story I got was that she had suffered a miscarriage a week before and the doctor didn't want her to fly. What????? Yeah, I believed that one. Let's just say that it took me a lot o' years to forgive her for that one...and you know what? I shouldn't have. The girl who was supposed to sing a duet with our friend backed out right before our rehearsal dinner and by this time I just wanted to forget the whole thing. Not to mention that I had offended a dear family friend by not having her daughter as my flower girl. I wanted my niece and after all, it was MY wedding but ppphttt, we all know how that goes. Oh, and when I booked the church for this ginormous wedding it was January...I had no idea that they either didn't have air conditioning or that perhaps it just didn't work all that well cuz let me tell you...it was toasty in August. But, everything worked out fine...like it usually does. It was a beautiful wedding and we partied until the wee hours of the morning. I think. Anyway, these are the earrings Scott gave me. They aren't as big as they look...and Sara, keep your mitts off of 'em. They better be here when I get back from my trip.
Twenty-seven years....whew. We celebrated in a big way as only we can do. Both of us were tired from the ridiculous heat and a fun work week so we went out for dinner and then pretty much called it a night. We're such wild and crazy people don't you know? I mean, really, what else is there to do?

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with weddings or anniversaries....hhmm, maybe it does....stormy??? hmmmm. Naaah, just a cool photo I took from my bosses window at the med school looking towards where we live. It rained and flooded in our area and a 4 year old was struck by lightening around the corner from our house. True. It must have been pretty scary for the poor little dogs who were all alone cuz when Scott and I got home that night, one of them had not only thrown up in our bed....twice...but had pee'd too. That was fun.

I've been up since 3 and it's now almost 6 so I guess I should try to catch a little cat nap before I need to get up and go to work. I'm leaving very early in the morning for another work related trip. Really don't want to go but then I guess most people who travel for work don't want to either. So I'll catch up when I get back next Monday. If somebody wants to bring a casserole or a bucket of chicken over to the house for Scott and the kids while I'm gone....don't. They're big people who can take care of themselves. Sorta kinda.

'Cool' has a price

2008-08-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Oh yes indeedy it do!!! The air-conditioner folks didn't arrive until the next morning which made for a incredibly uncomfortable evening before...but hey, what's a mother to do? So, they actually didn't make it to the house before 1pm which meant it was getting even hotter in the house and I was ready to poke my own eyes out just waiting for them. We had been told it would be a 7-8 hour job and you just hear the sound of a cash register and see dollar signs flying about when they tell you that.

Our house is 20 years old. I'm not sure if it's more like in dog years or something but apparently that's old for a/c units. Ok. He could have said they need to be replaced every 5 years and I wouldn't know the difference. Not my "especi-e-ality" kids. He said the blower was out and that would cost $800 to fix that. HOWEVER, if something else decided to go ka-blewy in the next day, week, month....too bad so sad. So, bottom line was that we opted to have the 4ton unit replaced and hope for the best with the smaller unit (hehe, I said 'unit') cuz it was going to cost $20,000.07 (ok, I made the 7 cent part up) to replace both. I dunno about you guys, but we just don't happen to have that kind of legal tender just sitting around. I mean, Sara may go to grad school. Jeff, Kris and Betina are in college. I'm counting Betina in even though she got a grant and we don't have to pay for her classes, but I just wanted to throw that in cuz I'm proud of her. Anyway, between kids in school, rising gas prices, people living here who actually do NOT want to be on the 99cent diet (eating at McDonald's) three dogs and taking care of my mom...it's just not happening. So....for a mere $12,000.04 (made that up too) we had the 4 ton put in. We'll do the smaller one next year.
But I gotta say...and this is no joke, Sara, you will totally feel the difference when you come home...this new a/c is fabulous. It has not been this cool in our house EVER. EVER!!!! I can actually feel the air coming out of the vents for the first time. How sick is that. We may save enough on our power bill to have the smaller one replaced. So...we're happy little Denton's.
Which is good cuz now we won't be able to go anywhere or do anything for at least 27 years. I'm only sorta kinda kidding. Oh well, vacations and visiting interesting places in the world is highly overrated I guess.
I've had a horrible cough for the past 2 weeks. Lost my voice and everything. It doesn't seem like it's entirely my asthma this time. Not sure what it is but I'm not getting any sleep and I even had to start on Prednisone...which I loathe with all my heart and soul. Scott is pretty angry with me for not going to see a doctor about it. Why do I torture myself so? No clue. I mean, it's not like I have to have a "girl exam" or anything...I just hate going to the doctor.
So...that's pretty much it for today. It's 47million degrees outside, but it's a lovely 75 in my house. aaawwww....$12,000 doesn't seem like all that much right about now.

Post #3,527 on why I hate living here

2008-07-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

You've GOT to be freaking kidding me. The blower on our large unit (teehee, I said "unit") has been out for who knows how long. I've tried to tell my genius husband that, "Hey, it's really hot in here" only to hear, "You think it's hot in here, go outside!" Yeah, he's a real riot that one. So, tonight HE said, "Hey, it's really hot in here" and I could have given him the same line he constantly gives me, but I was more original. "Ya think?" I'm all over originality, let me tell you.
So, oblivious man holds his hand up to the vent and....nuthin'. He goes all around the downstairs and it's all the same. He yells upstairs for Kris to check up there and all is fine. So...that means the smaller air conditioning unit is the only one that's basically cooling the entire humongo house. Fabulous. And here I thought I had some bad-ass fever and was going to die at any moment. We're waiting for the "climate control technician" to call back. First of all, where else in the US can you live where every air-conditioning company works 24/7? Only in the stinkin' desert people. I just want to grab the weenie dogs and go check into a hotel. It's sweltering in here so I'm going to keep this short and go sit in the living room where the huge ceiling fans are blowing gale force winds. I may be a divorcee or a widow by the end of the night. Seriously. I'll complain more about him later.

Highlights of last week

2008-07-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

I just got back from LA. Orange County to be exact. I was there for an entire week and I am exhausted. I had no idea we would be so busy. More on that in a minute. I just gotta talk about this picture. Ok...I'm on the plane getting ready to head off to California when I see this disgusting "thing" in the aisle right beside me. I have the entire row of seats to myself and across from me is a father and daughter. She's the one who drew my attention to it by screaming, at the top of her lungs I might add, "DADDY!!! WHAT'S THAT ON THE FLOOR???" Of course I had to put down the interesting reading material "How to buckle your safety belt" and have a look. Hmm, that's totally disgusting. Umm, well, there are a couple of babies on board, maybe one of them just lost a little something. But I wasn't smelling anything rank and I definitely have a nose for that sort of "little something." The dad kept telling his daughter that it was a piece of chicken. Yeah, well, there's another reason to go vegetarian. Then his story went from a piece of chicken to a sausage. Criminy, now I'll never be able to eat breakfast meat. It was stepped over no less than 6 times by the flight crew before the senior flight attendant kicked it under the dad's seat. I say she was the senior flight attendant...I don't know that for a fact but she was the only one who had the nerve to take care of the problem and she did so in such a "don't worry, I'll take care of it" kind of attitude. Anyway, this picture is blurry and that's because it was a pretty bumpy flight and I was trying to act like I wasn't taking pictures of dookie on the floor of an airplane. Something tells me I'm never going to grow up.
Now, this is a lot nicer to look at, don't you think? This was one of probably 5 pictures I took the entire trip. I know, I couldn't believe it my own self. Me...the queen of taking 27 pictures of...well, dookie for example and I took 5 pictures on a trip to LA. I spent a week at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Garden Grove, California for the Williams Syndrome National Convention. It was one of the most wonderful things I think I have done up to now. I met some of the most incredible kids, their families,and adults who have this syndrome. This one family in particular had 3 kids and the youngest had Williams Syndrome. While we were examining this little guy his older brother and sister where trying to keep his mind off of what was going on and just being so kind and gentle to him. Dr. Morris suggested to the parents that this little guy have a "chore" to do at home to teach him responsibility. The parents said that none of the kids had chores and Dr. Morris explained to them why it was so important for him to do this and the older brother just piped up with, "Oh well, if it's for him, I'll do it." That just made my entire day. There were a lot of wonderful, heartwarming stories from that week. Suffice it to say, I am in love with my job. The hours were long and I didn't get out of the hotel much...basically not at all until Scott showed up Friday night. I had to work all day Saturday and Sunday, but we had a few hours to take off and go to the beach.
So, we get home and look at what's happening....wind and rain clouds. I am so in hopes that this monsoon season will bring us a lot of much needed rain. It rained for about 3 minutes and that was it. So much for anticipation. Now it's just muggy and hot. I swear, I just can't win when it comes to the weather around here.
I missed my dogs and they pretty much haven't left my side since I got back. I really hated to go off and leave them to go to work today, but somebody's gotta pay for the Milk Bones.
It's late...I should be sound asleep right now but once again sleep eludes me. I should go read a book and see if that does the trick. If not,there's always a shot of Nyquil waiting for me. :)

How I spent my 4th of July

2008-07-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

Alone. Yep, all alone. Well, I was home with 3 totally wigged out, shaking like a leaf wiener dogs, but still...alone.
I really didn't mind it though. The morning started out good enough. I was just happy to be home and not have to go to work. Best part about that was knowing I was getting holiday pay and I was in my very own kitchen making cupcakes, salsa, brownies, dump cake, and slicing up watermelon. I'm not sure why. Just felt like it I guess. Scott had to go make rounds at the hospital and the kids were nowhere in sight so I knew I would have a few hours to myself. That was pretty much a good time...and then things just seemed to go "eeehhh" after that.
Maybe it was going to the grocery store in the middle of the day when it was well over 100 degrees. That always seems to put me in a fabulous mood. Yeah, that could have been a factor. Rushing to get bags and bags of groceries in a hot car and home before they all turn to sludge is always an adventure.
What I think really put me in a catatonic state was when Scott got home from the hospital and did his usual routine to try and get me to go out to his parents house. Some people down the street from them were having an Open House and we were invited. I did try to explain that just because you're invited to something does not necessarily mean you have to go. Especially when they said, "If you come out to Boulder City, stop on by if you want." But noooo... he hasn't learned in 30 years that when I make my mind up, that's pretty much it. "Well, I'm sure there will be good food there." "no, I don't really want to go. Remember, I haven't slept much at all the past week?" This is true...the smoke from the fires in California have done a number on my asthmatic lungs. Plus, the stress of this new job is weighing very heavily on me. I just wanted to be home and relax. "Well, I'm sure they would like to see you." Bullshit. I doubt they care one way or another. I mean, they're nice people and all, but I barely know them.
So, he went. And I stayed home and attempted to work on some photos and some scrapbook pages. I just couldn't seem to keep my attention focused on anything. It was weird. I thought Jeff was going to stop by to pick up some of the food I made to take back to his house. His friends who have a band were going to play in Jeff's backyard and they were going to have a party. He didn't show up. That's ok, it's not like I told him I was making all this food for him. So, as night approached the popping of fireworks could be heard from time to time. Rusty totally freaked out. The other two were ok as long as they were with me, but poor little Rusty was a basket case. I had to wrap him up in a blanket and hold him close to me. He was shaking, and the terrified look on his sweet little face just broke my heart.
I ended up spending the evening comforting 3 little wiener dogs and watching tv. Not such a bad way to spend an evening. Scott got home and asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner. Uhh, dude, it's 9:00. I had a sandwich. geez. Then he started telling me about this condo that a friend is wanting to sell. He wants me to go look at it with him. I have a few objections about this. First, the friend who originally owned the condo died in there. That kind of freaks me out. Was there for a looonnnggg time before they found him too. Second of all...and here's where the whining, "it's not fair" speech comes in....I feel like I have been a prisoner here in this hellhole piece of the desert for over 20 years. I have said for years that the only time I will pack up my things and move is when we move outta this God-forsaken (is that supposed to have a hyphen?) place. I came here kicking and screaming and I feel like I've done my time. I would give anything to move to Washington or Oregon. Hell, Montana and Idaho look mighty fine to me too!!! But, that's not going to happen. He has a great job, and now I do too. I seriously doubt we will ever move from the stinkin' desert. He's trying to talk me into looking at this condo and I don't want to. I have a two-story home, don't want to move to another one. Oh, I don't know, I'm just feeling a tad bit overwhelmed these days and this hasn't helped me at all. I'm leaving on Monday to go to LA for a genetics convention. I won't be back till the following Monday which is a pretty damn long time to be away from home and NOT be on vacation. Again I will say that I LOVE my boss, LOVE my co-workers, but am scared spitless of the job. The medical part of the job doesn't really scare me, it's the budget, bill paying part of the job for this grant that has me awake all night. Since there is absolutely NO ONE to help me, or train me, I'm trying to figure it all out on my own. It took me 2 weeks to figure out how to write up some travel vouchers for this LA trip and submit them. Yeah, and I have 2 more trips coming up soon for us that I have to do as well. Maybe they'll be a little easier now that I've done one. Look, I don't even balance my checkbook. Haven't for years. I either look online or call the 800 number. "Oh, they say I have this much...that sounds about right." Hey, that's my philosophy. So now I have all this grant money, all the paperwork that goes along with it, and bills to pay, crap to buy, and again I will say....THERE IS NO ONE TO HELP ME!!!! Nobody knows what she did so they can't help me...and it's obvious that she isn't going to come back to help me like she said she would, so I'm drowning.
Oh well, today is another day. Although it's the same as the last few weeks where it's so hot you don't dare go outside and you really have to think about how badly you want to get in the car and go somewhere when you know that when you finish you're going to go back to a car that's hot enough on the inside to bake a Thanksgiving turkey. It seriously is. I do not kid or exaggerate when it comes to Thanksgiving turkeys so there.

The wiener dogs look like they're all on doggy downers today. They didn't sleep well last night so I suppose they'll be crapped out all over the house for the rest of the day. They certainly live well, I'll give them that. Maybe I should join them.

weenie dogs

2008-06-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

This is my Rusty. He's such a lovin' little guy, but sometimes he's a bad boy. You cannot put a plastic shopping bag, or grocery bag on the floor cuz sooner than later he will pee on it. I don't know why. He just does. But I love him and he's so dang cute I can't stay mad at him. He also likes to steal one of our shoes while we're away and curl up and sleep with it. He never chews on them, just snuggles up with them.
Charley is a squirrel. No, he really is a taco short of a combo plate. But he's a sweet little guy. Very attached to me and loves to sleep under the covers at the foot of my side of the bed. He also acts like we starve him half to death. I swear, this dog would eat all day if you let him. He even ate some of my asthma medication a few months ago and ended up in the doggie intensive care unit for the night to the tune of over 600 bucks. But look at that face. How could you not love him.
Here's Her Majesty, Miss Daisy. She's the oldest, and the most ridiculous when it comes to barking. She barks at her own family when we come home. Oh well, that's the only way she has to communicate I guess. She's so sweet....loves to sit next to you and just snuggle up. She refuses to go outside when it's really cold, or wet so sometimes I find a surprise over in one corner of the living room. I just don't get it. But oh well, we love her just the same. She ate an entire 12oz bar of dark chocolate one Christmas Eve and had to have her stomach pumped. I think I've written about that before but that's ok...it's my blog and I'll repeat if'n I want to. Besides, I have nothing else to write about. Tonight was the stuff every parent dreams of (when your kids are little and driving you crazy that is) Kids are either at work or out....I'm not really hungry or in the mood to fix dinner OR to even go out for that matter. Geez, I wonder if I'm coming down with something??? Anyway, Scott goes to the gym to work out and I ate a small piece of angel food cake. Just a smidge. Then I had a couple of rice crackers. Scott makes it back home in one piece and he decides to eat left overs. Good thing cuz I LOATHE leftovers. I think I've written about that too. Hmm, maybe I've written about everything in my entire life already and I have to stop blogging now. Sure. Sooo, I look at the 20 pound bag of potatoes I just HAD to have from Costco the other day even though Scott said I was being totally ridiculous. Remember in Forrest Gump where Bubba is telling him all the things you can do with shrimp? I was doing the same thing, only with potatoes. "I can make mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, potato salad, hash browns, potato casserole, potato soup...." I made some mashed potatoes the other night and here the rest sit. I made a baked potato for myself tonight and barely ate any of it. Just not in the mood. I ened up eating a piece of beef jerky, a cherry Starburst, a yellow gummi bear that had no flavor, and a little bit of an ice cream sandwich. I'm all about nutrition let me tell you. For someone who wasn't hungry I sure made quite the meal for myself. Sheesh. With no "kids" to fix dinner for, it sure was nice to just come home and not have to pretend to be the "mother of the year" and make a fabulous dinner. I'm so lazy in my old age.
So, now it's time to finish off the vegetative portion of this evening by getting off the computer and plopping my snackin' self on the couch to watch a pre-recorded episode of Dexter. Gotta go to work at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow so I need to conserve as much energy as possible. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Laundry??? ppphhhtt what's that? Housekeeping?? who needs it? Grocery shopping? Highly overrated. ohhhh hey...there's a mini-peanut butter cup hiding behind the computer screen. Gonna grab it before Scott jumps on it.

It was quite a week

2008-06-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

These pictures have absolutely NOTHING to do with any events from the past week. I was just goofing around with Photoshop last night, ran across the photos from my 24 hour trip to Paris and thought I would play around with making them look "antique-y". I can't believe it's been almost 4 years since I went to Paris. Gawd, time certainly does go way too quickly.
I should have posted the original color photo of this shot too, just to show the dramatic changes you can make with Photoshop. If you don't have it, you really should download the free trial version. It's amazing.

Wow, Sacré Coeur looks very cool in this vintage looking photo. I may never sleep again...making all my photos look vintage.

Anyway, I don't know why I wanted to put those photos up, maybe because I'm in the mood to travel and know that's not going to happen any time soon. Well, I'll be going to LA soon for work, but that doesn't really count.
This week was wonderful, scary, depressing, great, and certainly thought provoking. The woman whose position I took over....well, she came in to help me for 2 hours one night. TWO hours. I had post-its on every single pile of charts and papers that were all around the office and we barely got through the majority of them before she had to go. Now, I understand that she has a new job and for all intents and purposes doesn't "owe" me anything, but for the love of God, have a little compassion!!!! There was this wire basket sitting on top of a filing cabinet that was overflowing with all manner of medical papers and of course I had no idea what it was much less what to do with it. Come to find out, it's just stuff that needs to be filed in the patients charts. Yeah, some of this stuff was from 2002. I am NOT kidding. That pretty much freaked me out. I've since learned that many times after an initial genetic counseling appointment, the patient isn't seen again. We still receive updates, family letters, lab results and the like and all this stuff has to go in the chart.
I have a problem with things not getting done. I mean, c'mon....6 years and you can't find the time to file this shit away? On to the next pile...and the next. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.
Soooo...I know there are still a million things I need to learn, but for right now, I knew I had to get some of that filing taken care of. I spent the first couple of hours at work on Friday just alphabetizing all the stuff to be filed away...and then I literally spent the rest of the day putting this stuff where it belonged. I still have a good sized pile of things I couldn't find charts for, but at least now they're in alphabetical order in a folder. That's one pile taken off my desk!!! From what I understand, sometimes we get medical records for potential patients and they never follow up or for some other reason we don't ever see them so we don't have a chart on them. That could be the reason I still have such a pile of papers.
I left my office Friday evening feeling a huge sense of accomplishment. Not so sure what I'm going to feel tomorrow when I go in, but hey, it's a start.
I cannot even begin to say how incredibly happy I am at this new job. My boss is the most wonderful, down to earth person...and for the first time in a very long time, I don't have to worry about having to listen to rants and raves, I don't have to watch my back, and I don't have to "go to my happy place" just to make it through the day. I have had such a reduction in my stomach problems since I stated working in genetics it's ridiculous. Not only that, but just the other day we were sharing some chicken salad for lunch and we started talking about the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome parents support group that we had just had a few nights before. The next thing I know, she's giving me a little mini-lecture on Fetal Alcohol and it was amazing!! I'm sooo loving being around her and soaking up any little morsel of knowledge that she passes on to me. She's amazing. I am so in awe of her knowledge.

That was pretty much my week. The genetic counselors, program coordinator, and office girl are the absolute best people to work with. I love everything about this job and I still can't get over how truly blessed I feel now. I really do.
Scott's on call this weekend. I haven't done much this weekend but go clothes shopping, which I totally hate. It's so hot, it's not really worth going out shopping unless you're going someplace with covered parking. Well, not many places like that around here so you either have to cowboy up and deal with it, or just don't go while the sun is out.
That's why I ended up looking at pictures of Paris for a good part of the day yesterday and playing around with Photoshop. I actually uploaded some photos to Costco and I'll pick them up later today with the idea that I'm going to frame them and place them in my new office. Yeah, I'm there for the long haul. They'll have to get me out of there with a crow bar and a stick of dynamite. Truly.
Times-a-wasting....need to get creative and do something with more pictures. It's only supposed to be 114 out today so I think I'll be happy to be inside all day. Don't get me started on living in the stinkin' desert. Off to be crafty and happy!!!

I think it's Monday

2008-06-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

I think I've been in a heat wave induced coma or something similar for the past week or two. Sheesh. Last week was so hectic I thought I was a good candidate for pharmaceuticals but phhhtt, that didn't happen. I started my new job in genetics full time.....YEAH, BABY!!!! of course the woman who left isn't around to train me so I sit at my new desk in my new, huge office and stare at the ever growing pile of charts and phone messages that I don't know what to do with. She's supposed to meet me Wednesday night to go over a few things and I can't wait. Kris, the one in the cap and gown, had his high school graduation on Wednesday night. It's a miracle that he even went to the ceremony. It wasn't something he really cared about, but after his art teacher paid the $60 for his cap and gown he felt he should probably show up...and I felt I should probably re-pay her for that so the we loaded up the famdamily and sat through two and a half hours of torture. I'm glad we did though. Kris was almost unrecognizable to some of his classmates and faculty. Up until graduation morning he had hair down to about the middle of his back. He stopped dyeing it black a little over a year ago and I think he was sick of looking at blond roots. Well, about 8 inches of blond roots. Anyway, he had his hair chopped off and I don't think he really likes it much. My other son, Jeff looks like he's pretty proud of his little brother in this picture. They still won't cooperate with me when it comes time to take pictures, dang kids. It took everything I had, meaning threats and pleas to get them to hold still long enough for me to take this one.
Remember last week when Scott paid the stinky repair man $182.00 to fix the dryer? Yeah, well that worked for one load of clothes and then we were back to no heat. Do you think my husband would get it in his head that maybe we did indeed need a new dryer???? Hell, no. He called the same idiots back out and let me just say that the guy was even more ripe this visit than the last. Seriously, Betina was upstairs in her room and came out, leaned over the banister and asked me, "What's that smell?" I mean it. I was getting woozie, and the room was beginning to spin, that's how disgusting it was.
Well, now it was something else that was wrong and it was going to cost a little over a hundred bucks to fix it. Ohhh, I don't THINK so. I had some heated words with the fella....from a distance I might add (wheeewww!!!) and he had me talk to the owner. Not a good idea on his part, let me tell you. Let me just say that Scott wasn't home at the time and therefore I got to say exactly what was on my mind. I got the majority of our money back....tried to get all of it but he wouldn't budge. I've also reported them to the BBB and promptly yelled at Scott while he was trying to have a little vacation time in Newport Beach. Yeah, I know...I'm mean. But hey, he's on the beach having a jolly good old time and I'm stuck once again with the Mt. Everest of laundry, no working dryer and BO Man.
I now have a very nice brand spanking new dryer and a husband who promised to never call stinky repairmen ever again. Yuck...that stench....had to burn a candle to try and get that smell outta the house.
Saturday was graduation for the residents at the med school. Scott was asked to be their key note speaker and the poor guy spent pretty much all of his two week vacation working on that speech. It was very well received and I was quite proud of him.
We didn't do much for Father's Day. Well, I finished cleaning out our closet and the linen closet in our bathroom and we both super-duper cleaned our room. How's that for a fun-filled day?
We grilled steaks and salmon for dinner and that was pretty much the extent of our weekend.
Always a fun and exciting time for us!!!

Just a bunch of nuthin'

2008-06-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

I've just thought of two really bizarre and random things to write about. The first one is the explosion that almost tore our brand new house down two weeks after we moved in. You can see the video here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJVOUgCm5Jk&feature=related

Scott was at work and we only had Sara and Jeff then. It was May4,1988. I had invited the neighbor kids over to meet and play with my kids and ordered pizza. They were sitting at the little plastic picnic table outside our front door and I was video taping them. Everyone was having a jolly good time when we heard the first *pop*. I thought it was a jet breaking the sound barrier and was trying to explain that to the kids when then next big blast hit. Glass from one of our windows was raining down and kids scattered everywhere. The neighbor kids took off like they had been shot out of a canon and my kids were crying because Sara's bug jar had been knocked off the picnic table and shattered. I was trying to figure out what was going on when I noticed my almost two-year old son standing on a chair in the dining room looking out the window. I looked out the window to see what he was staring at and saw this huge, ugly, black and yellowish cloud in the distance. Even though we live close to the airport and have planes flying by constantly, I knew it wasn't a plane crash. Not sure how I knew that, I just did. There was a titanium plant a few miles away and that was the only thing I could think of that may be on fire. At that time there was nothing between the fire and our house but the wall in our backyard and the desert. I wasn't sure what was really manufactured at that plant, and the color of the cloud really scared me so I quickly decided to get my kids in the car and get as far away from that cloud as possible. I thought it may be toxic and I was afraid. As I'm picking Jeff up off the chair I look out and see the strangest thing...the earth was rolling like the ocean and it was heading towards us. I grabbed Jeff, turned around and barely got Sara up in my arms when the shock wave hit. I've never heard anything like that in my life and I hope to never hear it again. It pushed me, holding two kids out the front door. Good thing the door was open or we would have really been hurt. All I could feel was this hot wind at my back, with dirt and glass swirling all around us. I held on to my kids and somehow made it to our car. As I'm strapping in two hysterical children, I'm trying to be calm, check them for injuries and wonder if I'm a widow. Scott's office was very close to where this plant was in Henderson. I just knew he had to be dead. As I'm driving out of our sub-division I notice that every single garage door is buckled in...windows are broken, car alarms and home security alarms are going off everywhere. I'm terrified and I'm trying so hard to keep it together for my kids. I knew the phone lines would be down but Scott's pager service was in Vegas and I thought that would be the only way to get a message to him if he was still alive. I had to drive to two different places before I found a pay phone that worked. I told him I was taking the kids to his father's law office and to please call me there. My sister-in-law met me as I drove up and helped me get the kids inside. Sara had one small cut on her head and Jeff had one on his leg. I was wearing a dress and the back looked as if Freddie Kruger or Edward Scissorhands had given me a little back massage. My back was bloody and there was glass in my hair. Nothing major. Scott called and I fell apart. I couldn't believe he survived that horrible blast.
Well, I sent my kids to stay with my parents while the house was being put back together. Every window was broken, huge shards of glass were embedded in the walls, the banister was destroyed by flying glass. The dining table and chairs were ruined by the glass. Our back door was dead bolted and it was pulled off the wall. I didn't even want the house anymore. We hadn't even made our first house payment!!!!! So, for almost an entire year after the explosion we had someone here every single day fixing something. Funny thing, half the doors in this house still won't close.

Weird bizzaro thing #2.

A doctor convicted of murdering his wife performed surgery on Jeff when he was little. Can I pick em or what?
Jeff had been playing out in the back yard when a kid threw a stick over the wall. Of course it had to hit poor little Jeff in the face, right under his eye (thank God). It was hard for me to tell exactly how bad it really was because he was crying and it was bleeding quite a bit, so I jumped in the car and drove him to his dad's office. Scott took one look at it and said he didn't want to mess with it....too deep and jagged. The ER doc didn't want to do it either so that meant we had to pack up and go to another hospital where they had a plastic surgeon on call.
He was a weird guy...nice but just creepy. I personally thought he was making a huge deal out of a laceration but hey, I'm no doc so what do I know? He did a beautiful job sewing Jeff's little face up and I was supposed to take him back for 6 post op visits. WHHHAAA???? Geez dude, I'm a nurse and his daddy is a doctor, I think we know how to spot the signs of infection. But no, I was supposed to take him in. It was after the second visit that I think I figured out that this guy was just too weird for me. He not only offered me a job, but offered to give me a free surgery if I wanted one. Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks. I didn't take Jeff back after that and it wasn't long before he was accused, tried and convicted of murdering his wife in New York and throwing her body in the Atlantic ocean. read this:

http://www.charleyproject.org/cases/k/katz-bierenbaum_gail.html

Yeah, I got the Mother of the Year award for that one. But seriously, he did an amazing job sewing up my baby's face. Gotta give the guy credit for that.

Umm...let's see....oh, I got to go to Caesar's Palace and take blood from Frank Sinatra. He was a complete and total ass...and he even tried to cop a feel. I kid you not. Dirty old man. I was a young, sweet thing and he pretended to want a closer look at the necklace I was wearing. Let's just say his hand scooted clear across my chest before he actually touched the necklace. Creepazoid.

So much for old stories. The past seven days have been so weird. I quit two of my jobs and started working in the Department of Genetics. I am very overwhelmed right now, but I am so happy. More about that later. I'm tired and the weenie dogs are wanting to go to bed too.

Happiness

2008-06-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

This picture makes me happy. Well, it makes me sad too but mostly it makes me happy and I say, "aawwwww" about 27 times in a row. Kris would not be a happy little camper if he knew I was posting pictures from his "nudist" period on the internet for all to see. He was just so dang cute though...and yes, I did indeed disinfect the swing after his little biscuits left. Ok, so maybe I didn't ALWAYS disinfect but that'll come up in their therapy later. Could kids BE any more blonde than these guys? I didn't think so. I'm not really sure what look Sara was going for with the "shorts under shorts" ensemble but she seems quite secure in her fashion choice so who am I to say anything? And Jeff just looks like he's having a fabulous time sitting in the baby swing. Sometimes he would get his little butt stuck in the swing and like the poor excuse for a mother that I am, I liked to watch him try to wiggle his way out of it for a couple of minutes before I would go and rescue him. Oh c'mon, it was funny! Not like the kid is scarred for life or anything for crying out loud.
I miss my kids being this age. While I really do love seeing the people they have become, I loved that place in time where they all still needed their mom and figuring out which "shorts under shorts" outfit to wear for the day, or which swing to put your bare bottom on, or "should I sit in the baby swing and see if I get stuck?" were the only real worries they had for the day.

The swing set is long gone. The backyard full of scattered toys hasn't existed for many years. Sara's graduated from college and out on her own now, Jeff just turned 22 yesterday and lives on his own as well. Kris turned 18 recently and will be graduating from high school next week. And so it goes.

Ohhhh k....before I start crying like a big o' baby.... I have some wonderful news. I've been working two jobs for almost a year now. Today I had an interview with a doctor I have admired forever and a day. I was offered a full time position in the department of genetics and I accepted it. I am so happy!!! Details will definitely follow but for now just know that I cannot wait to tell "evil doctor" that I'm leaving. I really will miss the kids and families I have become so close to in the HIV clinic, but I just have to move on and away from him. This job will give me the chance to travel, learn as much as I possibly can about genetics, and more importantly work with incredibly nice people and a doctor who is so kind and down to earth.
My boss at my other job knows I'm leaving and she's happy for me. Friday is my last day there. It's going to be weird not to go there anymore...I've been there for almost 3 years but I know I'm doing the right thing.

So..even though I have had the cold from Hades the past week (yes, I know I just had one recently) my voice sounds like an obscene phone caller, and I'm coughing like a 2 pack a day smoker....my life is good.
And so it goes.

We're Back

2008-05-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

Not that anyone missed us, but we went to the Bay Area for a week. My brother and his family live there so Scott and I thought we would take a little vacation with the Memorial Day weekend and all to escape life as we know it. These pictures are of my sweetest guy...my little nephew. He is getting so big..and he's sooooo smart!!!! We had such a good time visiting with them and eating like there was no tomorrow. (gawd)
My brother and sister-in-law had a martini party at their house on Saturday night. While I'm not much of a drinker, I must admit that I did indeed partake. I can't even remember how many different flavors of martinis my brother was making, and no, I didn't have one of each. If you were at that party and I kind of wandered off mid sentence please accept my apologizes. And if I had a goofy look on my face and you thought I was squinting at you ,well, that's pretty much how I look all the time. The alcohol had nothing to do with it.
I just love this little boy. He's such an adorable kid and I miss him terribly. He turned 3 in January and I can't believe how big he is.
We got home late last night and had to go to work this morning and I feel like I'm catching a cold. I did two loads of laundry before I discovered that our dryer wasn't working. How incredibly fabulous is that? Off to the laundromat we went. Yuck, I hate those places. I don't even want to think about all the disgusting germs in that place but what was I supposed to do? Hang 2 loads of clothes off the banister and on the back of the dining chairs?
Anyway, I have nothing funny or witty to say tonight. Just wanted to put up a few pictures of my little buddy.
I'm going to go drink a juice glass full of Nyquil and pass the hell out. That stuff doesn't do a blasted thing for your cold, it just makes you so drunk you really don't even notice that you're sick. That's my theory anyway.

it's THAT time of year here in the stinkin' desert

2008-05-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

aaahhh yes....summer in the stinkin' desert. It has arrived. With a vengeance. It's supposed to be 106 out today. And its only going to get worse. Summer is here, yes indeedy. Why just this morning as I was putting the sun tea out to brew, I could hear, see, and smell all the tell tale signs. Lawn mowers where buzzing around the neighborhood, the smell of freshly cut grass was in the air along with meat being cooked on a grill. I dunno, maybe it was the smell of someone sunbathing...same thing. The sidewalk was uncomfortably hot on my bare feet. Not enough to make me dance around like a complete idiot, but hot just the same. I hate the summer. Always have, even as a kid. Oh sure, I liked the idea that school was out and all that goes with long, lazy days of nothing to do but play outside until it was dark. But that's about it. I hate the heat. I hate the mere thought of sweating. My fingers swell up in the summer the size of Lil' Smokies. No, really, they do. If I'm outside for even 5 minutes, I get finger bloat something fierce. Dang uncomfortable too.

We're in our "cave" mode around here. We have a million windows and not only do they all have a protective sun coating on them, we have shutters, and shades and basically we keep them all closed in the summer months to try and keep the house cool and the power bills under $500 a month. I remember when we first moved in to our house I would wake up in the morning and it would be so cold in the house you could hang meat! The kids would walk around with blue lips and frostbitten fingers and toes. I would take them out into the backyard to "thaw" and complain to Scott that something had to be seriously wrong with our air conditioning system because we had the thermostat set at 76 and it had to be 60 or less in the house.
One morning I awoke to the sound of itty bitty children's teeth chattering and went to check the thermostat one more time....and lo and behold and eureka, I figured out what was going on. The sun was shining in one of the big windows we have waaay up high in the living room right smack dab on the thermostat. It was like a freakin' BEACON!!! So, not being able to move the thermostat to a better place we did the next best thing. We put up a roller shade on the window and now that sucker is pulled down as soon as spring is here. We're on top of that crap let me tell you.

So...here I sit on a Sunday afternoon. I've done two loads of laundry (yea me) and I've done the only other thing you can do when you're stuck in the house cuz you're too big of a baby to meet the summer head on and embrace it in all it's miserbale hotness.....I made lemon cupcakes. Can I deal, or what?

Happy Mother's Day (early)

2008-05-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

This is what my mother is getting for Mother's Day on Sunday. Ssshhh, don't tell her. I made it myself. It has the names of all her grandkids on it. Thank God she doesn't have but 5 of 'em cuz those dang silver alphabet letters are EXPENSIVE!!! I was just going to buy one already made but they were ridiculously priced so I just got all crafty and stuff and made her one with my own two little hands. I thought I would go outside this morning and take a few pictures of it. I'm in my jammies...hair all wet and stuck to my head from the shower and I get one shot fired off before I hear the wieners going nuts. Dammit...the bug guy is here. So much for my jewelry photoshoot. Happens every time. The bug dude can never, EVER come on a day when I have to work early. Ohhh nooo. He somehow knows when I'm home and going into work late and THEN he shows up at my house disrupting my photoshoots and my peace and quiet. Stinkin' bug man. And really, what if we just stopped using him all together? Would our house eventually become overrun by spiders the size of lemon meringue pies? Would silverfish work their way into every book and news periodical we own? Could cities of cockroaches be far behind? I just can't take that risk. Come every month like you have for the past 20 years, bugman and spray that stuff, even if it is watered down iced tea, all over my yard. I hate bugs. And we have A LOT of them here in the stinkin' desert, let me tell you!!!
Kinda got off track there. heehee. So back to Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all, and have a bug free weekend.

I'm officially really old

2008-04-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

I guess if you want to get technical about it...I've officially been old for quite some time but today really sent the message home. My *baby* turned 18 today. Yeah, my Kristopher is all grown up.
See that lovely cake? That's BEFORE we cut into it. Not really sure what happened there...the bottom layer sorta went south and the rest of the cake went west. Very sad looking cake. And what's with the cheese-ball piece of acetate "Happy Birthday Kris"??? They can't write on cakes anymore? I think I need to find another bakery. I paid a small fortune for this cake only to have it look like crap by the time I got it home. Oh yes, I have driven with many a birthday cake in my time so I do indeed know how and where to properly place a cake for the ride home. So, being the mom that I am I knew I couldn't serve THAT cake to my baby boy...so I made him a huge pan of brownies. He thought the cake was funny and while it still tasted amazing, I felt like "slacker mom" for not trying to re-decorate the damn thing before I gave it to him. I'm sure he won't lose any sleep over it, nor will he spend extra time in a therapists office because of it.
So my last baby has turned 18 and it seems so 'wrong'. I should only be 32 years old with small children following me around. Not the age I am with wiener dogs following me around instead. Such is life. Kris is graduating from high school in a few months so I'm sure I'll be melancholy then too. Somebody pass the Prozac....STAT!!!

Mmmmmmmmm

2008-04-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

See these babies? Oh yeah, they WILL be mine!! I'm going to make the most fabulous blackberry cobbler the world has ever seen. And then I'm going to eat it until I get sick and vow never to eat an entire blackberry cobbler again. And then I'll forget that part and make another one and do the same thing all over again. This is how I roll. Get used to it.

Here's how it went down

2008-04-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Ok...so I've just finished spending $127.00 at the grocery store and I have nothing to fix for dinner. I'm loading the trunk of my little fuel efficient "toy" car with the bags full of nothing when this HUGE monster vehicle pulls up into the space next to me. It's one of those gas guzzling, gotta have a ladder to get in kind of vehicles. Out comes a woman and her child. She looks over and says, "Oh..I don't think you're going to be able to get into your car." I look around to the left side of the car and by golly, she's right. She's parked within 2 inches of my door. I smiled...trying reeeeeally hard to be nice and I said, "Yeah, you're right, I can't." She THEN has the utter audacity...or maybe it was just stupidity...or high altitude sickness from sitting up so high and that stupid truck thing of hers...but whatever. she said, "Maybe you can just get in from the passenger side and crawl over." ???????? I could not believe my ears. "Crawl over?" she wants me to 'crawl over?" ppphhhtt. Yeah, like it'll be a cold day in hell when I attempt THAT trick. "Umm, I have a better idea. How 'bout you MOVE your truck!" And with that my dear friends, she shot me a somewhat bewildered look...perhaps it was because I was holding a can of Pledge furniture spray in my trembling hand and I wasn't afraid to use it. At any rate she hoisted up the kid into the ridiculousmoblie and moved to another spot. Yeah, that's what I"m talking about...parking lot drama!!!! Score one for the little guy...and oh...I hope she has to pay $200 every time she fills that stupid truck up. Serves her right.

I had a pediatric "workshop" today waaaaay over on the other side of the stinkin' desert. I loathe those things but it's part of my job and I got paid PLUS I didn't have to go to a wedding out on Lake Mead where the wind was blowing at hurricane force. No, really, it was. We only have two real "seasons" here in Nevada....hot and shitty or windy and shitty. What more could you possibly ask for? Anyway, I'm at this workshop and El Diablo (my boss) asks me to take pictures for a newsletter that we're going to send out. Ok. I'll take a few shots of the key note speaker, and the tables full of people eating free food and trying to act like they're the least bit interested in what is being said. I know what they were thinking...."This chicken is really tough...I can't believe I gave up the better part of my Saturday for chicken 'jerky' and a two hour power point presentation from ONE speaker! How many more people are going to get up and talk? Ssshhheeesssh. I wonder what I'm missing on HBO right now?" Cuz afterall, that's what I was thinking.
There's a short break and I see it as my opportunity to get the hell outta there...but wait! El Diablo spots me and gives me a ration for not taking pictures of this, that and the other. Look, I had been there since 10am. It was now 2:15 and I had guzzled down 3 glasses of iced tea. My bladder was ready to explode at the slightest provacation and besides that....I just wanted to go home and take off the stupid skirt and put on the stupid jeans. I took a few obigitory photos of people surrounding a poster (niiiice) and while he got busy talking with a few other folks, I "potty danced" my happy butt out of that place. I'm sure he'll have something rude and obnoxious to say to me on Tuesday when I go in. He had his camera with him...who died and appointed me 'photographer of the pediatric department'???? (I have such an attitude)

Scott's still at the wedding...or he's been blown to kingdom come or maybe just Phoenix... I dunno. Things are pretty quiet around here except for the wind, like I've mentioned 47 times. I think I'll go goof around with Photoshop and see what I can do to make the photos I took today look "fun". Yeah, that sounds like a good waste of a perfectly good Saturday night.

How I spent my day

2008-04-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately I have to work on Saturday so I was able to take today off. When I went to bed last night I was thinking off all the things I could do with an entire day to myself. Yeah, I know, how pathetic is my life? It wasn't until this morning that I decided to go to the Bellagio and take pictures in the conservatory. I love to go early in the day to miss the hoards of people, err, to catch the sunlight coming through the windows. I got lucky on both sides today. :)

The flowers were spectacular. And for the first time in forever, I didn't have ONE person ask me to take their picture. Hmm, perhaps I should go to the Bellagio dressed like a bag lady more often. Pink Crocs, pink jacket = whack-o woman
So here are just a few of the photos I took this morning. And after I left the Bellagio, I went to the Cupcakery to satisfy my hunger for a vanilla cupcake with vanilla frosting. Bad idea. I would have been better off pulling over to the side of the road out in the middle of the desert and eating a handful of sand. Yeah, it was that dry. I can't believe that they get $2.50 a piece for them. Sheesh, it really was drier than a popcorn fart. Oh well, that's what I get for buying cupcakes instead of making my own. Last time I go there, that's for sure.
After almost choking to death on a dry cupcake that was way over priced, I ended up going to Trader Joe's for some groceries and then home. That's pretty much been my day and I have loved every minute of it...except for the horrible cupcake. Don't go to The Cupcakery if you ever come to Vegas. They suck. I've never been impressed with them. They got me today at a weak moment and I can tell you one thing...never again.
Enough about the stupid cupcake...geez. See, I have no life. The house is quiet right now. Scott has gone to play basketball...Betina is at a yoga class...Kris fell asleep in his room...and the dogs are all snuggled together snoozing on the couch. It's nice. The quiet that is. Maybe I'll take advantage of having the house all to myself and make some decent cupcakes. (I can never let things go)

She Lives!

2008-04-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

I have indeed survived the infection that took over my body. Not that there was ever any doubt that I would, but you know how I like to drag things out.

So, I think I'll tell you about the funny thing that happened to me last night. It was late, and I had been trying to get the laundry done before I went to bed. I didn't get around to doing it over the weekend like I normally do and so here I was, throwing the first of three loads in at 7:30 last night. I was pulling the first load out of the dryer and carrying it to the bedroom where I usually throw it on the bed to sort and fold everything. I was in a huge rush last night and as I was walking into the bedroom I caught a little elastic string from a pair of my underwear on the doorknob and about the time I noticed the resistance it SNAPPED....whacking my arm with such force I was sure my arm had been severed below the elbow. No! I can't make this crap up! It happened. I was happy to see that my arm was still attached but talk about sting! Dang...it whelted up and turned red and ugly for about an hour. Seriously....now who else does this kind of thing happen to??? No one...no one I tell you.