Saturday, April 19, 2008

Here's how it went down I've just finished spending $127.00 at the grocery store and I have nothing to fix for dinner. I'm loading the trunk of my little fuel efficient "toy" car with the bags full of nothing when this HUGE monster vehicle pulls up into the space next to me. It's one of those gas guzzling, gotta have a ladder to get in kind of vehicles. Out comes a woman and her child. She looks over and says, "Oh..I don't think you're going to be able to get into your car." I look around to the left side of the car and by golly, she's right. She's parked within 2 inches of my door. I smiled...trying reeeeeally hard to be nice and I said, "Yeah, you're right, I can't." She THEN has the utter audacity...or maybe it was just stupidity...or high altitude sickness from sitting up so high and that stupid truck thing of hers...but whatever. she said, "Maybe you can just get in from the passenger side and crawl over." ???????? I could not believe my ears. "Crawl over?" she wants me to 'crawl over?" ppphhhtt. Yeah, like it'll be a cold day in hell when I attempt THAT trick. "Umm, I have a better idea. How 'bout you MOVE your truck!" And with that my dear friends, she shot me a somewhat bewildered look...perhaps it was because I was holding a can of Pledge furniture spray in my trembling hand and I wasn't afraid to use it. At any rate she hoisted up the kid into the ridiculousmoblie and moved to another spot. Yeah, that's what I"m talking about...parking lot drama!!!! Score one for the little guy...and oh...I hope she has to pay $200 every time she fills that stupid truck up. Serves her right.

I had a pediatric "workshop" today waaaaay over on the other side of the stinkin' desert. I loathe those things but it's part of my job and I got paid PLUS I didn't have to go to a wedding out on Lake Mead where the wind was blowing at hurricane force. No, really, it was. We only have two real "seasons" here in and shitty or windy and shitty. What more could you possibly ask for? Anyway, I'm at this workshop and El Diablo (my boss) asks me to take pictures for a newsletter that we're going to send out. Ok. I'll take a few shots of the key note speaker, and the tables full of people eating free food and trying to act like they're the least bit interested in what is being said. I know what they were thinking...."This chicken is really tough...I can't believe I gave up the better part of my Saturday for chicken 'jerky' and a two hour power point presentation from ONE speaker! How many more people are going to get up and talk? Ssshhheeesssh. I wonder what I'm missing on HBO right now?" Cuz afterall, that's what I was thinking.
There's a short break and I see it as my opportunity to get the hell outta there...but wait! El Diablo spots me and gives me a ration for not taking pictures of this, that and the other. Look, I had been there since 10am. It was now 2:15 and I had guzzled down 3 glasses of iced tea. My bladder was ready to explode at the slightest provacation and besides that....I just wanted to go home and take off the stupid skirt and put on the stupid jeans. I took a few obigitory photos of people surrounding a poster (niiiice) and while he got busy talking with a few other folks, I "potty danced" my happy butt out of that place. I'm sure he'll have something rude and obnoxious to say to me on Tuesday when I go in. He had his camera with him...who died and appointed me 'photographer of the pediatric department'???? (I have such an attitude)

Scott's still at the wedding...or he's been blown to kingdom come or maybe just Phoenix... I dunno. Things are pretty quiet around here except for the wind, like I've mentioned 47 times. I think I'll go goof around with Photoshop and see what I can do to make the photos I took today look "fun". Yeah, that sounds like a good waste of a perfectly good Saturday night.

1 comment:

SUZANNE said...

You CRACK me up! Rediculousmobile you said!!! I can see it all going down, Pledge in hand! You should have used it! I have your "permission" yet to add you as a blog buddy? I want the green light Ruth! My peeps need to be reading your stuff! Love you/miss you!