Tuesday, April 27, 2010

what i know...and don't know

this is a picture of a human liver. I used to have to eat calf liver when I was a kid because I was anemic. I hated it. I used to try and hide it in my mashed potatoes or stash it under my leg while sitting at the table, always aware of my mother's eyes in the back of her head. Sometimes I would even pretend to cough and spit it out into my napkin. Rarely did I get away with any of these acts but I had to try. I mean, c'mon, it's liver for crying out loud. That shit is nasty. But I digress......

If you read my crazy sleeping pill induced ramblings from a few weeks ago, you know that during routine lab work it was discovered that something is wrong with my liver. I don't drink and I've never shot up drugs. Soooo....we're on a journey to find out exactly what my diagnosis is and what can be done. A few things have been ruled out, but it looks like I'm going to have to have a liver biopsy to get to the bottom of this. The few remaining things that it can be are not particularly good, but then again, some of the really, really horrible things have already been taken out of the equation so for that, I am grateful.

I've been poked, proded, x-rayed, CTscanned, ultrasounded, endoscopied,colonoscopied,biopsied and barium swallowed half to death. And then my doctor takes off on a two week vacation. Thanks. So...I won't even see him again until the 12th of May to see where we go next. Personally, I'm thinking about going to the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix....or the University of California at San Francisco for another opinion, even though I don't have a definitive diagnosis yet. It never hurts to go to San Francisco for any reason as far as I'm concerned. My camera is gathering dust and I think it would be good for me to get out and snap some pics.

But the good news is this.....there was a bakery not far from my home and once upon a time I worked there a few days a week with the hope that I would learn some mad decorating skills. That never happened but the other night I was driving past the bakery and noticed a new sign. It was for another bakery. Well of course I had to stop and be nosey to find out what happened to the former bakery. I met the new owner who is a total sweetheart, just trying to live her dream. I meet her husband and he tells me I look familiar. Like I don't hear that a hundred times a day. I always want to say, "Oh, you probably recognize me from Little Darlings "(strip club) just to see the look on their faces. But I haven't had the nerve to do that. Maybe some day. Anyway.... Turns out we worked together a million years ago. I still can't believe that he remembered me. One thing led to another and I'm hanging out in their bakery making goodies like the crazed woman that I am. It's one of those win/win situations. They need help in the kitchen, and I need help with my sanity. They're allowing me to go into their kitchen and bake anything my heart desires for them to sell. They thank me for my generosity. I want them to succeed because they truly are nice nice people. I can't thank them enough for letting me do what I love and escape my thoughts for a little while. Sounds like a good deal to me. Don't you think?

News will be posted when I know more....but in the meantime....be good to your liver.


Crystal Martin said...

Ruth, I hopw all goes well with your liver and hope they find out what's going on whatever the case may be. So...the whole bakery thing....AWESOME! I know you have such a passion for that part of your life. It is good for the sanity end of things. I know you will enjoy. {{Hugs}} for you my dear.

Kirsty Wiseman said...

ugh - hope lilly liver is ok love and thank god you are back in the bakery where you can work your magic baby x

PaulaDevi said...

Ruth, I just happened onto your blog and am so grateful I did. I can hear the tremor in your voice as you write. No stranger myself to the surprises our bodies cook up for us under cover and then, like that scary clown in the box pop-up, there it is and we are suddenly in some bad tv medical series and the remote is lost.
The Universe maintains balance and so ... the lovely bakery couple comes into your life. I'll be following your updates and keeping you in my prayers. blessings to you. PaulaDevi http://cronesjourney.blogspot.com/.