Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Some things never change...

or, I never learn. I saw my lovely daughter over the weekend and we had this fabulous 'mother/daughter get your hair done' sort of day planned. You know, a day full of girl stuff, shopping, hair dooin, eating, and a little more shopping. So Sara receives a text message from the stylist who is supposed to be doing my hair saying she's on her way to the hospital she thinks she has apendicitis. Yikes. Far be it for me to tell her, "Hey...I don't give a flying hurang if your pancreas is falling out...I WANT MY HAIR DONE!!" That would just be rude and I'm all about etiquette, baby. Sara knows I'm about to flip right out because I'm looking a little shaggy and I NEED a haircut. (think Joauqin Phoenix...without the beard) I'm pawned off on someone else and we're thinking all is right with the world.
I get there, talk to the stylist for a few know, I like my natural blonde but some red might be cool...sure, a little brown is fine with me too. She's slower than molasses in January and I equate that with "she's doing a damn fine job with those paint brush thingys and enough aluminum foil to transmit gamma rays to far off galaxies." HA...this is ME we're talking about, remember???? I NEVER get a good color or haircut.
I think my brain must have known that I couldn't handle another traumatic hair disaster and therefore I was on some sort of animal survival instinct and closed my eyes vowing not to open them until she was finished.

When a stylist doesn't offer to give you a mirror to see the back of your know things have gone horribly wrong. I don't know this for a fact because I have refused to look at the back since I know the front is so hideous. I look like a cross between a leopard and Pepe la Pew. Yeah...fantastic. And that's just the color. The "style" ppphhtt....I'm not sure what she was thinking in that department.

Knowing that my daughter is friends with most of the people who work there and I don't want to make things uncomfortable for her (isn't that just like me to think of others even when I'm about to have someone video me and plaster my hideousness on You Tube) I just kind of go, "Oh yeah, it's nice." Nice if the look you were going for was FREAK OF NATURE!!!!

Sara's stylist called her and said my Stevie Wonder of the hair styling world would re-do my hair for free. Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks. I mean, if that was her best work....I can't even finish that sentence.

No, it's not just me who thinks everything about my hair qualifies me for FEMA assistance...the administrator where I work gave me her stylists name and number as did 2 other people. Excellent.
Once again I'm sayin'...that's why I go to SuperCuts. You can't bitch too much about a $12 haircut. This one set me back 120.00. I should just pull a Britney Spears, shave my head and start over. It's lunch time....I think I'll go hat and scarf shopping.


Anonymous said...

I've seen your hair. It's not all that bad. Just a little. :)

Anonymous said...

I think you always look cute, what are you talkin' bout, Willis?